I need help! There are so many viruses on my dell laptop. I can't even get on the internet. How can I delete all the viruses without having to download anti virus or calling geek squad?

If you're not tech savvy, you don't have much of a choice. Malicious software "malware" gets deep down in your system and it's difficult to clean by even the most experienced IT security guy. Even the pros will most often rebuild the system from read-only media, deleting everything. Malware authors are very clever and know how to hide. They use encryption and obfuscation techniques. If you're experiencing symptoms as bad as you suggest, you're going to need help. Software can sometimes help, but it usually can't get everything. Most malware infections occur on pornographic sites, gambling sites, and other subjective websites. If you are going to go to them while knowing the risks, I would advise looking into virtual machines. Google VMWare. It is an application that allows you to run an operating system from within an operating system. It is contained and if it gets infected, you can revert back to the uninfected version without having to do anything more than click a button. Meanwhile, your host operating system is completely safe and protected.