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View Full Version : I ruined the best relationship I ever had with someone, and she's my best friend!HELP


Pipuca
Jan 8, 2011, 10:03 AM
First of all I just want to leave it writed that I'm that typical 14 year old boy that is too shy to tell his name.

I'm going to start from the beginning.
In October 2010 I fell in love for this girl, she had liked me in summer but I was to shy and didn't respond to her. Now the table has turned, I love her but she doesn't. She is in love by a friend of mine, he's prettier, funnier, and less shy than me. She is pretty shy too. Then I told my best friend and he told me he loved her too. So it started some sort of competition beetwen him and my other friend, I did not entered it because I was too shy and I gave up hope. In the beginning of November, the places in our class . Guess with who I got with... Yea the girl. In the first days we didn't spoke a word mostly because I was to shy and I got nervous all the time. Then we started to talk, have fun in classes, and both of our notes got better. But I was getting more like a best friend to her than a boyfriend. She couldn't imagine me as her boyfriend. And one day the friend that she loved made his move. And they didn't assume it because she was too shy but they were in love for each other. I tried to ignore but I couldn't and in christmas I told her, she basically ignored me and told me that she only wanted us as friends. We already were bestfriends and we spent all the time together at school. Then I realized that I only wanted her happy and that it didn't matter with who she was, but then in school people started saying rumours about us and even the teachers did it... She got completely depressed and told me that it was better to each one follow his own path. To stop hanging out with her, to stop talking to her, to stop being her best. I freaked out, started crying, and got freaked out with everyone else that I tough that they didn't want us as friend. She got angry with me because after all they were his friends and they were also important to them. She tries to ignore me in Facebook,msn and even texting. I spent the last night crying and I'm still crying now. Because she is the best friend I ever had and forget the sex gender barrier, I loved her now but not by love but yes by care,friendship. Now she's angry with me and I'm afraid she will never forgive me. I had the best time of my live along with her and all of this in just 3 months... I don't want this to be the end of the most beautiful thing I ever had. I'm ready to take insults like you'r gay,fag because your best friend is a girl. I JUST Don't CARE ABOUT THEM, but she seems to be eachtime more depressed people talk that. So I don't know what to do... Should I Give up and let her go away? Or Should I fight for what I want?
Please help me :(

joypulv
Jan 8, 2011, 11:25 AM
Last question first: you don't fight for what you want when it's a person who doesn't want you.

My best advice is to WAIT silently. You told her how you feel, now she will either let you back in or she won't. You did nothing wrong, really. In school just smile a tiny smile and walk the other way.

I have to smile when you say, at 14, that this is the best relationship you ever had. Granted it's no less wonderful, but there will be more.

I would give it a 50/50 chance that she will miss your friendship, but I'm not there. Just going by what I know of other people.

Pipuca
Jan 12, 2011, 03:21 PM
Hey guys,
I wish I had good news :(
But what happened was I had a fight with my best friend because she wanted to us to stop talking so much at school and at Facebook because people keep saying that we are boyfriends and all that stuff. Yes she is a girl and I'm a boy. But I mistakened it and took it as if she didn't want us to talk anymore... I made a huge scene and then she got mad with me. Now that we are supossedly bestfriends again she does not talk to me like we used to talk. She doesn't use the terms "like love you best", "take care best", "why are you sad". She doesn't cares about me. We used to spend nights talking in MSN with webcam and now she keeps making excuses like I'm to busy and stuff like that. WORST! She is in love for a friend of mine and they both are in love for each other, the problem was that last week ( before the fight ) they couldn't stand each other... AND YES I LOVE HERE LIKE NOBODY ELSE, there I said it! I know that he only started aprouching here again because he took use of me being mad with her and now I got overuned by him. I used to be the most important person to her... And now I'm like the only person she doesn't like, She says we are allright but I know that we aren't...
Please tell me what to do!! I can't take this much longer. I tould her I love her, I tould her I'm sorry and she says she already forgot it. I know she hasn't...
Everybody says to move on and try to forget her. BUT I JUST CANT!! I NEVER BEEN IN LOVE FOR SOMEONE LIKE HER.I know I can't speak very much because I'm 14 year old but please help me. I tried movies,albums,poems nothing works...

answerme_tender
Jan 12, 2011, 03:35 PM
She probably has figured out that you don't want to be friends, that you are actually wanting to be her boyfriend!! She doesn't want that, so has backed off. She wanted to just be friends, so you are going to act like that's all you want too.

Sorry, but you are going to move on when it comes to trying to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Act like you just want it to go back to being friends. Don't push yourself on her, let her come to you. If you see her, say hi and start talking about everything but who she likes blah,blah,blah. Just keep it friendly no pressure for either one of you. Take care and good luck

talaniman
Jan 12, 2011, 06:43 PM
You are jealous, because her attention is elsewhere and not just on you, and that's normal for friends I think because she is spending time with her boyfriend now.

You may have thought her friendship was undying forever love, but its not. It's the friendship type of love that will be there a lot longer than boyfriends if you can get over your jealousy, and get a life of your own, and let her enjoy herself, and you enjoy yourself.

If you want a friend, be a friend, and stop acting like a jealous ex boyfriend. You are not. They call it growing pains, and you are learning the difference between best friends, and girl friends. Be mature about it. Be glad your friend is happy and having fun, because that's what true friends are all about.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 12, 2011, 06:47 PM
Very hard years, and it is hard ( and wish it was not) for a boy and a girl to be and stay friends. Even if you were able to be or stay friends, when you start dating others, then they will often not undertand a close friendship.

All you can do is let it go where it is leading.

Pipuca
Mar 12, 2011, 10:00 AM
Hello,

Guys please don't judge me. I really don't know how to explain this very well. Let's start from the beginning.

Back in March 2010 I had fallen in love for this girl... A really amasing one... She was from my class but we never had spoken so I tought that it was just a regular crush... But then suddently she started talking to me... Helping me at school and we started talking at MSN... But then... Summer School Vacations and I never spoke much more... And in September when I got back to school she wasn't so nice to me... I really had tought that she had a crush on me back in Summer but now it was just hi and that stuff... The problem was that I never showed that I too loved her so now that I tough that she had moved on... I was the one crazy for her... And then... It was like the world was going to end... One of my other classmates liked her and she liked him too... I decided that I wouldn't quit... That I would try to fight for her... But instead of showing her the side of a person that loved her we became friends... Best friends... Wich made me stay with her everyday and know much more about her... What was Strange was that each day I kept loving her more... She is a shy girl and doesn't want any serious with my classmate but they keep posting status on msn and on Facebook saying that I love you , etc... And I just get jealous and get mad, depressed. Now we had some problems and we started arguing... Wich I never have done before and we got good again but I keep and keep thinking that I'm losing her and it just makes me cry, all day and all night I'm always depressed...
I don't just want to be friends, I tried so hard to forget the love felling and just to stay the friendship one... But I just can't it has been 4 months of suffering... I don't know what to do... I LOVE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I NEVER LOVED SOMEONE LIKE HER... NEVER... I have done for this girl what I never had done for someone else before... I already tould her that I love her in Christmas but we decided to forget that because it would destroy our friendship because she was in love for some else... Im not the pretiest men in the world... not really... I can't fight against the other guys, just cant... I tried really everything... Help me
Help me
Help me because I don't know what I will do if this continues
I'm not as close to my other friends, to my family... I keep being depressed
Please what SHOULD I DOOOO

Curlyben
Mar 12, 2011, 10:06 AM
>Multiple Threads Merged<

ScottGem
Mar 12, 2011, 10:45 AM
Your threads have been merged. Please do not keep starting new threads with this same issue. And, especially, do NOT create a new account, that is a violation of our rules. If you have any follow-up, post it in this thread.

Pipuca
Mar 12, 2011, 10:50 AM
Yes they have and I don't know why they have been merged...
I just want an awnser for my question... WICH IS DIFFERENT FROM THIS ONE...
So why merged? If you can't help me fine... just don't make that other people can't too

adviceishere
Mar 12, 2011, 10:52 AM
Hey look no one is going to help you with such an attitude man, you do realise we're all volunteers here right? Just be calm and patienced

Pipuca
Mar 12, 2011, 10:54 AM
You do realise also that that's a bit hard when I'm in this situation...

I... AM... FREAKING... OUT...

adviceishere
Mar 12, 2011, 10:59 AM
There's not much ican tell you to do, she doesn't have the same feelings for you as you have for her, you have to just get over it and live your life,

Pipuca
Mar 12, 2011, 11:00 AM
Thanks...
That really helps me...
Oh well, life...

ScottGem
Mar 12, 2011, 11:05 AM
Yes they have and i don't know why they have been merged...
I just want an awnser for my question... WICH IS DIFFERENT FROM THIS ONE...
So why merged? If you can't help me fine... just dont make that other people can't too

By posting under different threads and different names you have made it HARDER to help you as well as violated the rules of this site. As I understand it you are looking for help about having ruined a relationship. Everything relating to that belongs in the one thread.

talaniman
Mar 12, 2011, 12:10 PM
You can freak out like a petulant kid, or be mature and stay cool, calm, and collected. Get hold of yourself my young friend, growing pains are supposed to hurt, so you learn how to deal with these stressful situations in the future.

Trust me, there will be more of them, and your just getting started on a life journey.