My boyfriend and I have know each other since we were young - he was 12, I was 13. We've been dating for a little over a year now, but we've been incredibly close since we met. We spent a whole week together at church camp one summer, didn't get in touch with each other for the whole year,and were just as close the next year. We've always been this way.

Now for the problem. He's a redhead. His mother wants redheaded grandchildren like you would not believe. So much so that when she learned her friend from work recently became a grandmother to a redheaded boy with chunky cheeks, she told my boyfriend to casually mention the idea to me. What is this idea, you ask? That we get married and have children sometime in the near future.

That isn't so much the problem as this: I'm a 19-year-old college student whose parents, last time this same idea came up with an ex, had a cow. Granted, they couldn't stand my ex because he was disrespectful and rude, he smoked in their vehicles and cursed around them, despite the fact that he knew they preferred he didn't. And they adore my boyfriend now. My dad has even told me that whenever my boyfriend and I announce an engagement, he will probably cry tears of joy.

So here's the situation. I'm honestly considering having that "talk" with my boyfriend. Not like proposing to him, but mentioning, "maybe we could do this one day soon, what do you think?" I don't think he'd run from the situation because he doesn't have commitment issues (he waited for me for 4 years). I'm more or less curious to get other perspectives on the situation that I might be missing... Anyone care to donate?

You should not get engaged because someone else wants you to have kids. It will set you up for a handful of issues later, should the relationship fail.

Let it take its course naturally, and tell his mother that she needs to do the same - in the best interests of everyone involved.

Now, if you want to marry him and have his kids - great. But do it because it is what you want. AND, definitely wait until you're in a position to afford and take good care of your children.

Its your future, so why not wait and finish college, and see what you want to do. Plenty of time to decide on such life changing events like marriage, and children. What's the hurry? This is your life, not hers, so live it your own way.

We do want to at some point. We haven't said, "Yes, let's do it now," or anything like that. We've just made it clear that its something we both want. And I didn't mean to do it just because she wants us to. It IS something we want, but I'm worried that my parents would be kind of iffy. But I just wanted other perspectives; thank you! :)

Victoria,

I would love to be a grandma, and have even mentioned to my daughter that I can't wait till she finds that special guy and gets married. Now my daughter is 23yrs old on her own, great job. When I have mentioned this I get "THE LOOK" you know the one that if she could bury me about 6ft under legally I would be looking up into a pile of dirt, then I get told to buy a hamster!!

Just because your boyfriends mother would like to be a grandma doesn't mean that your ready, so I guess you need to just tell her like my daughter tells me ===buy a hamster, of course in your case you might way to dye it RED!! LOL good luck

Having kids is a commitment. So u shouldn't do it because your boyfriend's mom wants kids. Shoot my mom wants grand children but I told her it's not happening until I'm ready. So tell her how you feel. Don't feel preasure