I am 22 and have had 3 very happy years with my boyfriend who is 24. My sister split with her boyfriend around 2 years ago, and has since been rather sad. Especially as my family "love" my boyfriend and constantly go on about him all the time. Recently (4 weeks) my sister has met a new man, and do not get me wrong I am made up for her. However its become centre of attention. Both me and my boyfriend feel pushed out, and my sisters new fella has a lot more in common with my sisters new fella, and so my dad just keeps harping on about how fantastic he is etc etc. For example last night, "New Years Eve" my sister went away with him, whereas I thought I was doing a favour by staying in with my family. However my mum kept saying she really missed my sister and wanted her there (both me and my boyfriend felt we were not good enough!). Also my mum keeps going on saying things like "I bet he is an amazing boyfriend" "I bet he will spoil her rotten" "I bet they will do really nice things" yet when I say back to her "that me and my boyfriend do nice things" she gets all defensive as says "yeah and...."

I think I also need to mention that I want to move on in life, live with my boyfriend etc. But I am really attached to my mum. I hate not being with her if she is off work, and I hate it when her and my sister do things without me. Therefore I always see me mum over my boyfriend for example on Saturdays. I just need to find a way to become dependent, as I fear I will never move on. I worry my mum gets sad on her own.

I also worry that at the rate my sisters relationship is going, and the fact she has money and a job, whereas I am still at uni that she is going to get married before me. As she is so besotted with this new guy, and already talking about the future. I just fear that we are going to end up getting married very close to each other (or at worst I will have to wait a few years on top of what I imagine) and then it will just be déjà vu, as we are the same people, who want the same colours, same venue, and I fear everyone will be bored by the time it comes to me... just like everything. She has already done it first, so no one wants to listen to me.

I obviously have a really bad jealousy issue, and I will accept I do. I really do not know how to resolve it, as speaking to my family does no good, as they would not see it at all. I am looking for ways to help me deal with my insecurities.

It sounds like you are creating your own monsters in your mind.

Your sister's boyfriend is the new kid on the block. That will wind down over time.

How much more uni do you have?

Will your parents pay for your wedding, or will you?

I am doing my Masters, I finish in September, but then obviously in the UK where I am from the job situation after uni is very low!
I presume my parents will help fund the wedding, as will his. However I will have to take a loan, or save myself in order to fund the majority.
I would not jump into marriage just for it to be before my sister. I just fear that once one is done, the second will just be a bore.
I am happy for my sister, she is happy and so we are all happy. However I just need some help with controlling my jealousy, like he gets invited round for roast now, over my boyfriend, and my mum looks for little gifts for him now, as oppose to the usual mine.
I am sure it will ease with time, but as I have discussed this with my boyfriend, he now feels the same, so I have only made it worse, as he picks up on things now, whereas if I hadn't mentioned it, he wouldn't have done!

Well fair play to you knowing that you have a jealousy issue, that's definitely a start, you and you boyfriend have probably gotten into a habit of having a little "*****" between yourselves about your sis and her boyfriend, you need to Ban any bad talk you have, unless of course something is really bugging you then talk it out, have you four ever went out together? You should. You should all get together and try have fun. Your sisters relationship isn't perfect, no ones relationship is, but she's in the honey moon stage right now, as where you and your boyfriend at one point, this maybe where the jealousy is coming from, you need to sit back and smile and look at the deeper picture, look at how your sister admires her new lover, and look at how he admires your sister, isn't that nice? To know your sister has someone to love and protect her? You should be thanking him :) but your sister will have fights and problems with her boyfriend sometime and you need to be there for her when she does. I hope you all get really close and have some fun together, its something new for you and your boyfriend to do also :)