My son is 3 yrs old. His dad and I do month on month off custody with him. Things for the last year have been OK. On December 2nd, a few days before I picked my son up for my month, my ex tells me that he has moved and gives me the address. I ran it through the sex offender registry. It comes up that there is a registered sex offender at that address. So I called the county sheriff, they referred me onto the state parole board. I talked to them. They referred me onto CPS ( child protective services) who told me unless there was actual abuse they could do nothing. They inturn advised me to get an attorney! So I called and rehired my divorce attorney. We are going after an amended custody agreement. My attorney did say he couldn't advise me not to return my son, but that if he was in this situation he wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. That is also what the county sheriffs office told me.
So I have decided it is not in the best interest of our son to return him to his fathers care. For the custody exchange we each drive 250 miles ( one way). So feel I need to tell him something. But I also worry to some degree about will happen to me. We cross state lines for custody, he's in Missouri, and I'm in Illinois.
I plan on telling my ex via I'm ( so that there is proof of what I said) "I will not be returning __Childs name __ to your custody, until you can provide me with solid proof that you are no longer living with a registered sex offender, and that there is no longer one at the residence of your child care provider."
"Any questions please contact my attorney __ Attorneys name__ @ __ Attorneys phone number__."
I would like to know what happens now?

You WILL be arrested for kidnapping and kiss all custody good bye while your in prison.

Your going about this all the wrong way.

I would like to know what happens now?Hello P:

I have a hard time believing your lawyer didn't tell you what the downsides of your actions could be. Or, maybe he did, and you just want confirmation here... I don't know...

In any case, you are going to be in contempt of court in whichever court ordered the custody arrangement. That court has several options. They can jail you. They can fine you, or they may do nothing at all. I don't know.

If your ex gets the cooperation of your local police department, and they SHOULD support him (not because of his behavior - but because of the custody agreement), he could TAKE his son. The cops may charge you with a crime. Or, they might not support him at all... I don't know... But, if your ex is smart, and has a good lawyer, he can FORCE the local cops to support him.

No matter what happens in the present visitation situation, the court will be involved again... You're going to have to PROVE that your son is in danger there. In my view, simply having a registered sex offender at the same address ISN'T enough... It MIGHT be enough, but it'll take more investigation on your part...

It may come as a surprise to you, but there ARE convicted sex offenders who pose NO risk to children. Plus, you said nothing about your discovery other than the offender had the same address... Is the address, perhaps, an apartment building?? Or, is the sex offender a roommate? You're going to have to find out...

Maybe you already KNOW that stuff, but you didn't say so... It would seem that your lawyer would have informed you of that stuff too... I don't know. However, if it were me, I would have found out that stuff BEFORE I violated the court order.

Hopefully, you're not retaliating against him for some unmentioned sin... If so, he'll bring it up in court... I'm sure you're not that kind of mother and wife, but in my years answering questions here, I've found a few.

excon

First, I agree you are going about this the wrong way. There are several questions that you left unanswered. Like what level offender and what was his offense. Is the offender living with your ex or just in the same apartment building? Do you doubt the father's love and protectiveness of the child?

Not all sex offenders are a danger to children. Not all sex offenders would be a danger to a 3 yr old boy. Maybe this person got tagged as a sex offender because of statutory rape. In other words he had consensual sex with an under age girlfriend. Such a person would be NO danger to your son.

While I sympathize with your zeal to protect your son, it appears to me that you are going off half-cocked with not enough information. You obviously haven't even discussed this with the father.

The right way to do this is to have your attorney file for an emergency ex parte hearing to authorize your withholding your son until a full hearing can be held. This hearing has to occur on or before the date you are to turn your son over. I'm surprised your attorney hasn't done this. You then OVERNIGHT the ex parte order (assuming you get one) to the father. You can warn him not to come and tell him he will get an explanation by courier.

Even if you don't do the ex parte, you do NOT text him the information. You have your attorney draw up a letter and overnight it to him. At the least you write the letter and overnight it.

In a nutshell your Attorney and the County Sheriff are NOT going to suffer if this whole "plan" blows up in your face, and I think it will. Your plan is ill advised and if you violate the Court Order you can be held in contempt, possibly jailed, very possibly lose custody.

As my colleagues have said, you cannot just take the law into your own hands unless you can PROVE your child is in danger.

Websites are often wrong. Not all sex offenders are a danger to children. You also have no proof that your child's father even KNOWS there is a sex offender at his address. You can guess or assume that there is, but you need proof in order to take such drastic measures.

If you are legitimately concerned and not simply getting revenge on your "ex," well, then you can console yourself with the thought that you acted in the best interest of your child.

(And I'd find another Attorney.)

First when you say sex offender living at that address do you mean ?

An apartment complex and they live someone in the complex ? If so there is nothing you can do, the child will go back to father.

Is it a house but the sex offender has moved, and your ex husband just moved into the now empty home.

Or did he move in with another person who is a sex offender.

Next what type of offense, I have a friend of the family that was 19 and had sex with a 16 year old girl, he will be on the sex registery for the rest of his life.

I have another family friend who was caught having sex in public ( in their car) he will be on a sex register for the rest of his life also.

So just being on the list does not mean that the sex offender did anything with children.


So what you will do by not getting all the facts first, and not giving the child back

Most likely you will be in jail, either for contempt or for kidnapping,

The child will go back to their father while you are in jail.

The courts may not want you to have joint any more since you are now the threat to the child by not returning the child.

I would travel the entire 500 miles to his home and find out what the real situation is.

Next have you called him up and asked him about this person ?

Seriously, to me, you sound like another disgruntled parent who is forever looking at ways to take a child from another parent. I strongly believe you excluded to inform everyone that it is an apartment complex. Not to mention, I'm sure if your address were run through the system, a "sex offender" would live much closer to you than you care to know. And, as everyone has stated, the term "sex offender" can apply to so many crimes, not all have something to do with children. I hope you've seriously thought this through before starting a case, I believe, will ultimately blow up in your face. You could find yourself seeing your son on holidays and discover a major custody change in favor of your ex-husband - someone who is probably simply doing what he can to ensure the child has equal access and opportunities to spend with both parents. Hopefully, you've read all the above and have decided to believe the child's father is equally loving and would further protect the child from harm. By the way, he isn't YOUR son. He belongs to BOTH of you.

I would like to know what proof you have of the person at the residence with a sex offense.

IF you found this on the internet the info could possibly be months or years old.