My brother recently had a baby with his girlfriend he's been with for just a little over a year. She has an 18th month old son and just had a baby girl with my brother. I don't agree with her ways of dicipline though. She is constantly yelling at her son telling him not to do this and not to do that and spanks him hard and sais she believes in harsh punishment because her parents did that to her. I don't agree with it and her son is becoming a real handfull and being a kid you would see on supernanny or nanny 911. I don't want to see this happen with my niece who is only a month and a half right now.

Is there a way I could possibly approach her and try and change her ways of dicipline without hurting her feelings and making her feel like a bad mother? She probably won't change but I'd like to give it a try.

Your best bet I think would be to talk to your brother first. See if he will talk to her. It won't be as bad if he talks to her.
The problem is she might use the "He's not your son" bit and then I don't know what to do, Im sorry.

You are attempting a very brave thing - telling a mum how to take care of her children. But I think you are correct in your fears. That is no way to talk to a child. I can see her when the child is around 12 and yelling at her and her looking dazed, wondering where he got it from.

Please do what you can. Try to talk to your brother, make him understand that no good can come from hitting and yelling at a child.

I was a battered child but I never lifted a hand to my children, I never had to. Taking away privileges is still the best punishment for a child, but let the punishment fit the crime - we must be firm but fair.

If speaking to your brother doesn't work, try inviting her out for a coffee - just the two of you. Let her know before hand that you would like to have a serious chat. And begin by letting her know you care about her and her children and do not want to lose her friendship.

Perhaps she is finding it a struggle with the new baby and a toddler, you might offer your help.

I can't think of anything else to say without knowing the whole situation. But she really needs to stop yelling at those little children.

One does not need to yell at a child normally, but a spanking ( not a beating) is a good thing and works wonders with children.

Since I can't see the situation, I will not try to determine since some people believe one swat a beating not good parenting which it is.