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View Full Version : Girlfriend broke up with me with a mixed response


wtfisgoingon
Dec 20, 2010, 12:48 AM
We were together for over five years, and it was mostly a long distance relationship. We both pretty much put our lives on hold for each other, until we could be together in person. I would spend every second of summer and christmas break with her. We are both still young (20) but she broke up with me in a cruel way. I paid the expensive $500 trip to fly out to see her for christmas. I am currently an unemployed full time student racking up debt, and my sister was visiting for the holidays who I haven't seen for years, but I took the trip to spend xmas break with her family, because I love her more then anything. The first day I got there something was wrong, and she was distant from me. She later told me because she wanted to see her high school friend returning from the army for xmas, and that he was getting deployed to spot ied's afterward. I let her see him, and I'm left alone at her house with nothing to do. They return from coffee an hour and a half later then what she said shell be, and they keep their distance from me, the army guy not even making eye contact. Later that night, she tries to break up with me by saying she looks at me more of a friend now. I eventually found more of the truth, and she said she was torn between me and the army guy, and that he said "do whatever makes you happy" compared to me trying to convince her to stay with me. After that she said shed give me a chance to make up for me not putting a good enough effort in with her lately (I had exams and was overwhelmed), but she never did. She laid in bed until 3pm texting the army guy when my back was turned, or I was doing something for her. She then said she was confused, and called up a friend she hasn't seen for awhile that was mutual with the army guy. I knew it was over when the friend picked her up, and they were gone for three hours. She then told me it was time for me to go home, she wants to "find herself" and spend time with her friends, who basically ignored and grew apart from her because she was with me. She emptied her bank account to send me on a plane back home early. I have gone through most of the stages of grief, but I am having trouble accepting what I don't understand. Im hoping she will realize she made a big mistake,and want me back, but at the same time I don't know if I can continue a relationship with her if she does.

J_9
Dec 20, 2010, 01:04 AM
That's a terrible way to break up with someone. Glad she paid for your trip back out of her pocket though.

Now, with that said, do you have a question for us?

joypulv
Dec 20, 2010, 04:14 AM
Rarely does a long distance school relationship last.
She apparently craves more attention than you can give, and you should really concentrate on school for now.
It's OVER. Don't think about her wanting you back and wondering if you can take her back - you have to tell yourself she doesn't and you won't be able to. There's that one in a million chance of course, but don't think that way.
It hurts a lot because she was so callous and waffling, one guy in one door and one in the other, after you had flown all that way. Don't try to understand it, be angry. She didn't even have the decency to put the other guy on hold while she spent Christmas with you and broke up when you left (would that have made it any easier though?) Hurt MUST evolve into anger and resentment for self preservation. Tell this story to your true FRIENDS and they will all go GRRR what an awful, awful thing and they will coddle you and drag you places with them to help you forget. That's the way it goes.

tom1777
Jan 1, 2011, 05:08 PM
U know its beter now and not what happen to me after 18 years and two kids to see there dirt bag mother leave us to date a out of work guy who ;ives at home with mom and dad point of the story be glad she showed her true self now what ever you do move on and have fun .