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View Full Version : If I am 13 and I date an 18 year old is that pediofile?


chick_28
Dec 19, 2010, 04:10 PM
I'm 13 and I am dating an 18 year old.. well not "dating" because I told him I thought it was illegal and I didn't want him to get into trouble so I told him to wait and if he cared about me he would. But I was wondering if it was illegal I know it is if we had sex but we both said we wernt because he wants to finish collage and stuff and I agreed. But I was wondering if it was illegal just to date him?

Jake2008
Dec 19, 2010, 06:12 PM
You are kidding yourself if you think an 18 year old is going to wait for five years until you are old enough to be legally intimate with. You are also kidding yourself if you think that dating an 18 year old, when you are 13 years old, isn't about more than holding hands.

That you already 'date' this guy, is seriously wrong. That you question whether the guy is a pedophile is a good question. It is, as you should be aware, unusual, and questionable, for an 18 year old to pursue a 'relationship' with a 13 year old child.

I don't know how you met him in the first place- online?

If your parents are not aware of what you are doing, and I suspect that this guy has asked you to keep him a secret, then they should know.

I get the impression that you are uncomfortable dating him. All you have to do, is stop it before you get yourself into some very serious trouble.

He is not worth the risk.

ScottGem
Dec 19, 2010, 06:18 PM
There are no laws governing dating. And a pedophile is someone who wants sex with underage children.

But it is an unusual 18-13 combination that works. You are too young to even be dating yet.

talaniman
Dec 19, 2010, 06:59 PM
Your parents can cause him big problems, and if it's a secret, even bigger problems. When does a 13 year old get to talk to an 18 year old? We use to call you jail bait, and steer clear. So should he, and you should help him by leaving him alone. Forget the law, any one who sees you together can report him. He may not be a pedophile, he may not have bad intentions, but his judgment, and yours may be way off.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 19, 2010, 08:42 PM
I will say I think he is, since he is wanting to date a child way to young to date. And while he says one thing, my guess he has sex in his plans

chick_28
Dec 19, 2010, 09:15 PM
He hasn't had sex in his life its agenst his religion and he never awked me to keep it a secret and my parent know I like him and he's a family friend

chick_28
Dec 19, 2010, 09:15 PM
Asked*

chick_28
Dec 19, 2010, 09:19 PM
Yeah I know I'm to young that's y I told him no but that was like 2 months ago and he is insisting that he's going to wait

Jake2008
Dec 20, 2010, 03:20 AM
That your parents know you like him, and the fact that he is a family friend, does not necessarily mean that they know you are dating him. Are they aware that you are actually boyfriend/girlfriend?

You already told him no, to a relationship once, yet two months ago you changed your mind.

It is enough of a 'no' simply because you are too young. There shouldn't be any relationship. While you are dating him, he is not dating someone in his own peer group, and while you are dating him, you are robbing yourself of your childhood. Both of you are light years apart in development and maturity. Not to mention it is socially, and legally unacceptable. There are reasons, and very good ones, why adults don't date children, let alone have sex with them. If you believe that he'll wait five years, you are kidding yourself.

Part of why adults date children, is because there is something not quite right with them in the first place.

If you choose to keep this boyfriend, you are also choosing the conseqences that will surely follow. Before this goes any further, stop it now.

ScottGem
Dec 20, 2010, 04:19 AM
Please don't use the comments feature for followups. Use the Answer options instead. And we type in full words and sentences here, no texting.

So he has asked you to date? This is worrisome. An 18 yr old should know that a 13 yr old is too young and out of bounds. From your previous posts I thought the dating aspect was more wishful thinking on your part. As for the sex issues how do you know he hasn't had sex? Because he's told you? And people do a lot of things that is against their religion. But, even if his motives are pure, 18 and 13 are at very different stages of their lives. And an 18 yr old romantically interested in a 13 yr old has many issues that do not make him good dating material.

chick_28
Dec 20, 2010, 06:57 PM
I brought it all up to him and he got really mad and said I was doubting him. Then he asked me out again and I told him no. My parents know that I like him and now that I was thinking about dating him they wernt surprised and didn't mind much but they said he was asking too much of me and I agreed. I know its wrong and I plan to keep away from him and see what happens... Thank you all for all your help.