Log in

View Full Version : Unmarried mom of 2 mo.old wanting to stay in Indiana to provide a better life for son


sandyvenegas219
Dec 18, 2010, 06:17 PM
Hi my name is sandy. I have a 2 month old son. I used to live in California but I am in Indiana since halloween 2010 on accout that my mother had a big problem so I'm here to support her since she is having a very hard time. Before I came to Indiana I was living with my babies father we are not married by the way, well I told him a few days before halloween I was coming immediately to visit my mom in Indiana and he was fine I came with my son also he agreed so while I was here things have got from bad to worse with my mothers problem so I had to stay longer and my babies father also came to visit for thankgiving week while he was visitng I told him I decided to stay to live here in Indiana with my mother that he could work with my father in construction and my mother offered to let us stay in her 2nd apartment for free and take care of my son for free I just have go to school. He agreed than he went back to cali and just recently he broke up with me he didn't call me for a week or hasn't even sent any money for me to buy my baby diapers or to help me pay for his medical well baby visits but he called me later saying he is going to put a court order to try and take my son and or to make me move back to California.I still have my a lot of my things in cali so I was going back for them soon. My question is do you think thre is any chance the court will order me to move back or loose custody of my son?

Fr_Chuck
Dec 18, 2010, 08:18 PM
He as the father has the right to file in court to stop your move, but since the move has been made and for some time, without him filing, I doubt the court would force any move back to California ( but he has the right to file and try)

I also doubt that unless he can prove you unfit that he will get full custody, but he will get visit rights and perhaps a number of weeks at certain times during the year

cdad
Dec 19, 2010, 05:26 AM
There is a good chance that he can force the child to be returned to California. At this point the way you have explained it you're a very controlling person and your holding the child hostage to get your bidding. The courts take a dim view of that. Since you left under the premis of returning and now you have changed your mnd prepare for a custody battle.

ScottGem
Dec 19, 2010, 05:50 AM
This could go either way. On the one hand you have been open and even offered him some alternatives. On the other hand, he does have rights also.

It will depend on how a judge views things. My guess (and its very much a guess) that unless he wants you to move back in with him, the courts will allow you to stay where you have a support system. But, not knowing his situation and what he can provide for your son, it could go his way.

One problem is that you haven't established residency back in In yet since its only been a couple of months. So CA courts will have jurisdiction. Another issue is I suspect there was no court proceedings on custody and support previously.

I think you need to consult an attorney who can give you a better idea of where you stand.

sandyvenegas219
Dec 19, 2010, 12:20 PM
I don't think I'm holding my son hostage I tell him he can come visit at anytime and am trying to have a good relationship and he knows my phone and address of where we stay. I mean before he broke up with me he was willing to come and move here with me here in Indiana, while I went to school. Well is there any chance I can lose custody of my son?

ScottGem
Dec 19, 2010, 12:37 PM
We can't predict what a judge will do. This .can go one of several ways;

1) You be awarded primary custody, be allowed to stay in IN and he gets visitation, probably summers and holidays once your son gets older.
2) You be ordered to return to CA or lose custody.
3) He gets primary custody and you get visitation.

I think the odds for each possibility are in that order. But the possibility exists that a court will rule any of those three.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 19, 2010, 12:47 PM
Please understand, taking him 1000 miles away and saying, oh yea come visit when you want, is about the same as not allowing him to see him,

Unless he is weathly and can take off work any time and just fly there

You have taken away any chance of joint custody, of normal weekend visits, all without court approval, so the courts can take this as a "point" against you going in