We have been engaged for 3 years, and my work colleague was winding me up, constantly asking when's the wedding because of the long engagement. Her words made me think and it was the stick that broke the camels back. I got agitated and text my fiancé, gave him an ultimatum and saying maybe we should split up.

When I got home we had a huge argument, a lot of hurtful words came out, mainly of build up of things I have bottled up that he was not attentive and was always consumed by speaking on the phone to his friends and family more than spending time with me and my son. I told him I feel like a single mother again, what's the point of being together when he's never there! He's not loving and we hardly cuddle, we've become very distant with each other. Everything just exploded out in the open. We both got really hurt and upset. I wanted him out the house and leave as soon as, I was ruthless.

I couldn't stand living in the same house as him, so my son and I moved back to my parents for a few days and gave the engagement ring back, to show him it's for real. Then I realised that why should we move when it's my house too. So we moved back.

That was a week ago, he's been sleeping in the spare room, we have had calm talks since, but I don't know what he wants. He says I'm always nagging, trying to start a fight and he has had enough.

I am really upset, I feel like a monster for saying all those things, but he knows how I feel and he has said it's not just me that needs to change, he has done things to wind me up, and he needs to change too. But not drastically.

I feel so sad, and lonely it's as if I can't function properly, but I have stayed strong for my son and I can't deteriorate because of this. I feel terrible this has happened, but he knows that I still love him and that I will take him back, but I don't know how he is feeling, but I do know he is hurt.

He's gone to see his friends this weekend, as he needs a break from me. I haven't contacted him in any way as I know we both need our space. But if there is anything in the world I can do to make things better, I will do it, my son has been upset in this episode and both sets of parents too. It's been awful for everyone.

First, don't blame your colleague. You allowed her to get to you because that's how you felt anyway.
Second, I think you are going about this in a pretty good way so far, leaving for a few days and then him doing the same. Cooling off is always good.
Corny as this may sound, you can save the cost of a couples counselor and sit down with 2 pads of paper and make lists. You write what you need from him and don't have, and he does the same. Then trade pads and take turns discussing each one, with a timer set for 3 minutes each turn. Draw a line down the middle of the page so that you can write possible solutions over on the right. Try to list in order of importance.
Gee, where have I heard that the woman feels unloved and uncuddled and unappreciated after a while?
Where have I heard that the man feels nagged at and harrangued all the time?
Those are so common if you could bottle it you'd be a gazillionaire.
Men are from Mars, women from Venus.
Pretend this is a course you have to pass. Work on it in an almost formal way. That's what some counselors do; they make you do talking exercises with each other and it's pretty strange, but it works.
This all assumes that you both WANT to save this relationship. That is key.

See this as a test of both of your abilities to make adjustments to move forward. You have already been bonded long enough to build a foundation of communications and trust, and I think one of the lesson to learn is the HOW to communicate even better. Clearly not communicating didn't work out, as it only built resentments until it exploded, another hard learned lesson to remember.

So now you learn to express yourselves honestly in a timely fashion, IN A WAY YOUR PARTNER CAN LISTEN TO, and understand. The greatest tool you have to accomplish this, is the WILLINGNESS to listen, and make adjustments you can agree on, that benefits you both.

HOW you communicate is the goal to achieve. ALL couples go through this, some are better than others, but it can be done if the stubborn can listen, and be heard. That means take turns and be cool, calm, and collected, no matter what you hear.

Hi, Thanks for your invaluable answers.
He hasn't made any contact at all. I feel very troubled, lost and confused.
I've just read that there are so many people out there with such similar problems.
I will keep on waiting. But in the meantime I have to keep myself occupied.
It hurts so much.

It's final. He's decided to leave. I feel so sad. I'm devastated.

I've got no more tears! I can't cry anymore.

I did ask him to make a list as suggested by joypulv, but he's had enough. He said we have struggled to be happy with each other and he doesn't want to do it anymore. I feel so much pain right now.

Leave him alone. Its only been a few days.

Hi ladies and gents, thanks for being supportive these last few days. I just want to up date you on my current situation. I have been enormously upset and my world was crumbling around me, I couldn't eat because my stomach felt as if it was in a huge knot, couldn't sleep properly or do anything productive.

Well just now, I had a epiphany, I needed proper closure. I needed to talk to him and I phoned him, we were on the phone for 46 minutes! I feel so relieved that we had that huge talk, everything poured out and there was no hurt, upset, anger. In fact the total opposite. We were laughing and chuckling like old friends. Looking back to all those meaningless arguments and bickering made no sense, we didn't understand where the demons came from. It was so strange, but in a good way.

Anyway, our timing was probably all wrong and we are not made for each other, the chemistry just isn't there, but it felt such a relief. But we have said if there is anything we want to chat about we can just pick up the phone. I can honestly say, this evening has been a breath of fresh air. I've never felt so free. I feel as if I'm sitting on top of a mountain with a lovely breeze around me. He said the same thing.

I don't want to go through that again! The pain is just not worth it. We can now all move on and be happy for each other, that we survived this!

Thanks again for being here for me. I really appreciate your kindness. I will be hanging around and hopefully help others too.

Good for you.
I hope this is the beginning of good positive things in your life.

A rare and wonderful step. And I do hope you help others through this here.