Hi all,

I'm 25 and currently in my second year of uni.

I am a "mature student" since most of my youth I wasted having fun... You know "sex, drugs and rock&roll". But then I met my fiancé© and she gave my life a complete spin. I got a full-time job, started saving money for the future and I decided to go back to education. This was four years ago.
She was a very religious person who had never dated anyone and I was the complete opposite, only after two or three months of trying she accepted to be my girlfriend... It wasn't too long before I got in my knees and proposed to her since after been with so many different girls she was the only one I actually felt in love with.

Due to education and other stuff we kept putting our wedding date off. I must admit that my priorities were to finish uni, get the deposit down for a house and then marry her. I wanted to give her the best wedding I could afford.

Due to uni work keeping me occupied and her job doing so too we hardly saw each other lately but I always kept her in my heart and knew that it was for the best and it will pay off in the future.

Unfortunately I have been know fir being an ******* and when she would complain about my lack of attention to her I would completely dismiss it hoping she would understand. We then had some difficulties when I found out she had accompanied a male friend of hers (whom I don't know) to a sex clinic. Apparently the guy had been feeling poorly and had a STD. Now he couldn't speak any English and my fiancé© been the kind person she is decided to accompany him. Help him with translation.

Of course this did not go down well with me as I only found out when I overheard her telling her sister in Spain how good the NHS over here in the UK is. I lost complete trust on her and called off our relationship. However I was too madly in love with her and after some explaining I decided to give her another chance. However I must stress that when I found out I went to the extend if calling her a b, this really did hurt her.

About two months later (three weeks ago) she found out that I went for a drink after uni at a female friend's house. I must admit that at first I had dirty intentions for going there but after a few drinks all I could talk to her about was my fiancé©. About how we both never really got alone anymore and how our relationship was going down hill. I have never cheated on my her, I'm just not capable of doing so!
To make matters worse she also found out about emails from this dating site I had signed up to. But I only signed up for it to receive "free coins" in this MMO iPhone game I play.

This all came down as a bombshell to her, she didn't want to hear I said and so I decided to let things cool down I then talk to her. It's been three weeks since and every time I call her she never picks up. I text her and when she does reply is to tell me we are over. I've emailed her telling her exactly how I feel and explaining everything but she completely ignores my emails as she never replies to them. I've tried texting her asking to meet in person but she always replies saying she's too busy. I call her phone twice within an hour and she would send a text telling me to stop bothering her.

I went to her home today in a desperate attempt to force her to speak to me face yo face but she wasn't there, her mother told me she had gone to her company's Xmas party. I went outside and waited till 01:00 (three hours) and she didn't show. I now think she might have someone else as this isn't like her.

I don't know what to do anymore, this is the woman I had made plans for live with and it is all come down crushing!

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Cheers.

Not quite sure what you expected since you accused her of being dishonest, assumed she was cheating, called her a horrible name, and broke up with her. Then, less than two months later, you actually had the gall to go to a female friend's house for drinks with the intent of acting on your "dirty" thoughts!

You may have excused it somewhat in your own mind since you talked about the problems you and your fiancé had been having, but that talk should have been with your fiancé, not another girl.

Signing up for a dating site to get coins was just a poor move. No doubt there are other means of obtaining more coins for the game.

You have done just about all that you can. You have told her how you feel and how you would like to talk to her to try and sort things out. She may just need more time to decide what she wants, if she wants to try and work things out again.

Perhaps send her one last e-mail or text, keep it short and sweet. Acknowledge the mistakes in judgment that you made, let her know how much she means to you and that you want to be able to work together to rebuild your relationship. Then let her know to contact you if she is interested in doing so.

After that, leave it alone. Difficult, yes... but you can't keep hounding her. She will either come around to give it another go or she won't. It may work out for the two of you, or it may just end up being an important lesson in relationships for you.

I agree with DoulaLC... you have done pretty much all you can do. Just leave her alone, give her space. It's up to her if she wants to contact you now. She may come around, she may not. Either way you have some lessons to learn.

You crossed many lines of good behavior, by acting out of anger and impulse, where thinking first would have been the way to go. She is pizzed and hurt and you should leave her alone to cool off, and see if she misses you. She may want you back, she may not, but for sure she won't miss you while you are still begging for forgiveness.

Leave her alone for a month, and if she doesn't contact you, then you will know to learn your lesson (you should do that anyway!! ), and move on.

Thank you very much for all your answers guys.

I find it really difficult not to think about her, the worst thing is that I know it was my fault so I feel guilty. I always dream of her and all this waiting really is difficult.

I don't think she wants me anymore but I would at least like her to give me the opportunity to tell her how I feel about the whole thing. Mainly so that I could get things off my chest.

Your guilt is better handled by getting off the pity pot, and making some positive actions to rebuilding your life, and improving your own shortcomings. You had your chance to vent to her, and get things off your chest, you blew that too, so now you must seek another way to redeem yourself. Start with forgiving yourself your mistakes, and actually try to do better.

Its not a good plan to depend on talking to her to relieve yourself of guilt from your own actions. That's self serving and selfish, and smacks of the old thinking that got you to this point. Plus you already know she doesn't want to hear it. So forget that.

Get busy for yourself, by yourself. Accept the consequences of your actions, and move beyond that self pity.

Thank you for your advise!
I must admit it will be dificult but I will give it my best shot!

Following your advise (DoulaC) I wrote an email to her explaining exactly how I feel and admiting my mistakes. Asked her to contact me if she was interested in rebuilding our relationship.. she replied almost instantly with a clear no. She says she is happy now and that I should move on.
She said that she has already moved on and that although it was dificult I will do so too. Not to worry because I am a great person and I will find someone to love me like she once did.
She advices me to continue with my life, to be happy, to go out with friends and not to be alone.

I guess it is all over...