Lightning55
Dec 10, 2010, 12:54 PM
Could I get some feedback from this essay? It's a CommonApp Essay with the topic as "Topic of your choice."
Carbon is the element of paradoxes, having antipodal characteristics in its different forms, yet always remaining stable. Hard and soft. Clear and opaque. Conductor and resistor. Similarly, I have characteristics that seem like opposites. Pokémon fanatic and hardcore swimmer. Computer techie and book lover. I stockpile stuffed animals, watches, and old coins. Baseball cards, rings, and toy cars have no appeal.
Life is an intricate web of fanciful ideas and concrete objects, so that I find it nearly impossible to settle on any specific spot of the spectrum. Instead, I choose to reside on multiple areas, regardless of which side they stand on. Like the hardness and softness of the different forms of carbon, I can be the impenetrable blade on my saw or the gentle lead of my pencil. Even this past year, despite having my CCENT certification test, four AP exams, and the SATs crawling towards me every day, I still managed to study adequately for each one. However, I was not so thick-minded as to not heed my parents’ warnings for over stressing myself. Instead of relaxing with my friends, I found tranquility helping my ailing grandparents. My impact in their lives taught me not only to care, but also to act upon the family I treasure.
Carbon’s unique properties stem greatly from its ability to form covalent bonds. To form these bonds, it must share an electron with another atom. Having four electrons in its valence level, it can easily form four strong bonds with any element, except the noble gases. However, the noble gases don’t like sharing very much anyway. I too, derive my strength from bonds, but not the same ones atoms have. As an extrovert, I love getting to know all sorts of people. I almost consider myself a maverick of friendships, dabbling in tennis, piano, and academic cliques. My friendships are my bonds, connecting my variety of interests and the people I know. In addition, my ever-changing life allows me to stay flexible and adaptable.
The nature of carbon itself seems to reflect me. Like unrefined coal from the mines, I arrived in the world, dark, blank, and rough. However, each experience is the heat and pressure trying to refine me into a glistening diamond. Through school, sports teams, and community activities, I grew to be a connector and a connection between people. Although my time at the 2010 Summer Residential Governor’s School for Math, Science, and Technology was thrilling, I didn’t expect presumably the “best†class to feel like the most burdensome part of the experience. Among the several research papers, daily labs, and presentations, I took on the role of webmaster for the Brave New World: Understanding Your Genetic Future class. Despite the mountains of work while students in other classes roamed carefree, I managed to attend three additional classes a week, handle all my work, and have some free time to enjoy myself with each of the 149 other people there. In a short month, I learned responsibility, self-management, and most of all, how to create strong, lasting friendships. The event may have been burdensome for me, but I’m sure I got the most out of it. This experience has molded a major part of me, and experiences will continue to shape my future by applying heat, pressure, and energy until I become the everlasting, valuable gem in the end.
Carbon is the element of paradoxes, having antipodal characteristics in its different forms, yet always remaining stable. Hard and soft. Clear and opaque. Conductor and resistor. Similarly, I have characteristics that seem like opposites. Pokémon fanatic and hardcore swimmer. Computer techie and book lover. I stockpile stuffed animals, watches, and old coins. Baseball cards, rings, and toy cars have no appeal.
Life is an intricate web of fanciful ideas and concrete objects, so that I find it nearly impossible to settle on any specific spot of the spectrum. Instead, I choose to reside on multiple areas, regardless of which side they stand on. Like the hardness and softness of the different forms of carbon, I can be the impenetrable blade on my saw or the gentle lead of my pencil. Even this past year, despite having my CCENT certification test, four AP exams, and the SATs crawling towards me every day, I still managed to study adequately for each one. However, I was not so thick-minded as to not heed my parents’ warnings for over stressing myself. Instead of relaxing with my friends, I found tranquility helping my ailing grandparents. My impact in their lives taught me not only to care, but also to act upon the family I treasure.
Carbon’s unique properties stem greatly from its ability to form covalent bonds. To form these bonds, it must share an electron with another atom. Having four electrons in its valence level, it can easily form four strong bonds with any element, except the noble gases. However, the noble gases don’t like sharing very much anyway. I too, derive my strength from bonds, but not the same ones atoms have. As an extrovert, I love getting to know all sorts of people. I almost consider myself a maverick of friendships, dabbling in tennis, piano, and academic cliques. My friendships are my bonds, connecting my variety of interests and the people I know. In addition, my ever-changing life allows me to stay flexible and adaptable.
The nature of carbon itself seems to reflect me. Like unrefined coal from the mines, I arrived in the world, dark, blank, and rough. However, each experience is the heat and pressure trying to refine me into a glistening diamond. Through school, sports teams, and community activities, I grew to be a connector and a connection between people. Although my time at the 2010 Summer Residential Governor’s School for Math, Science, and Technology was thrilling, I didn’t expect presumably the “best†class to feel like the most burdensome part of the experience. Among the several research papers, daily labs, and presentations, I took on the role of webmaster for the Brave New World: Understanding Your Genetic Future class. Despite the mountains of work while students in other classes roamed carefree, I managed to attend three additional classes a week, handle all my work, and have some free time to enjoy myself with each of the 149 other people there. In a short month, I learned responsibility, self-management, and most of all, how to create strong, lasting friendships. The event may have been burdensome for me, but I’m sure I got the most out of it. This experience has molded a major part of me, and experiences will continue to shape my future by applying heat, pressure, and energy until I become the everlasting, valuable gem in the end.