View Full Version : Should I leaver her ? How should I tell her truth without getting her burnt out ?
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:30 PM
I know this almost 18 year old girl for 4 months now. She told me almost everything about her past, how weird and stupid they have been, also told me about her past sexual life. She lost her virginity to a man of 21 who she barely knew, simply called when her parents were not at home. Then had been seeing a 50 year old man for about 2 years (15 - 17 ), 10 times, had sex the second time meeting him in car and then in hotel. Although she told me the guy is old but never told the exact age and always told they met in an even but I found from the guy (after getting the guys email address) that they met on internet. This old man never forced things on her but every time she met her, it just went that way kissing, touching, licking and stuff like that.
The old man wanted to leave her and she started crying. She just tells me she just want to be friend with him and want to tell him bye forever so she is not blocking him But whenever he comes onilne she can't help but talking to him.
So, As usually she copies some of the chat she is talking with guys that I ask although not always. The other night while copying, she accidentally gave me the email address. Now, I have tried to see if the guy is really a peado because this girl always told me "even though it seems like he is but she thinks he is not a peado....." she also said she won't believe me if I even brought proof to her and she doesn't want to see any proof and asked me to leave it to her, she can handle. To complicated questions her answer is mostly I don't know.
Anyway, I spoke to the guy and he thought I'm a girl, he showed me his private parts and told me about his past sexual experiences with a 16 year old (the girl I know for 4 months) and another 19 year old girl (he sees that girl on cam and had sex about 70 times) although my angel said that this man has not been with any other girl other than his wife and her and she believes this old man told her truth. I have the videos of him doing all those nasty stuff online and talking dirty with me and even when I asked to meet, he seemed to be interested and he wants to meet, he even asked me to give my girlfriends email address so they can see him jerking (reminding you again, he thought I'm a girl, didn't know that I'm testing him)
I feel her so much and don't want her feel bad about things... Even after all these I was thinking of giving her a limousine drive on her birthday How do I now tell my girl the truth, show those videos and chat ? she is so angry and gets burnt out easily and she doesn't want me to check this she told me. But while talking with that old man, I found that she really doesn't want anything sexual anymore with him because she is a bit religious as the guy told but when he comes online she can't help but talk.
I have been crying for her for a long time... I just feel her so much although she said she can't be with me since we come from different religion but she likes me a lot, I know that. Please drop your help... How would you start the conversation and tell her ?
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:39 PM
My username seems like I'm a girl but Im a guy actually, the only reason I choose this is to know what others think after she told her about that old man and after knowing that she liked that married old man a lot and she thinks he just couldn't help but was too much liking her, so he wanted more.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/he-married-30-am-18-still-like-him-wanna-touch-confused-help-509214.html
Alty
Dec 9, 2010, 10:39 PM
She's religious? Is having sex with random guys okay in her religion, or does she just get to pick whichever rules she wants to obey? Having sex with a married pedophile is okay, but dating someone of a different religion is strictly taboo? Please explain that to me.
Dump this girl, she has issues. Also, report the pedophile to the police, especially since you have video proof. How old did you pretend to be when you talked to him? Did he mention on the video that he thought he was masturbating in front of a teen?
This is wrong on so many levels. The fact that she won't stop contact with him is the worst of all. She needs help, but not the type you can give her. Therapy, and lots of it.
Move on to someone that isn't this screwed up.
Alty
Dec 9, 2010, 10:43 PM
About your other link. Why were you pretending to be a girl and now you're telling us you're a boy?
You sounded pretty convincing in your other thread as a girl.
How are we to know what the truth is, and what's a lie?
It's never good to come to a site like this, where our advice is based on the truths you tell us, and lie.
So which is it? Are you really the boyfriend, or are you the girl that's dating pedophiles?
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:45 PM
Nope, that was when she was upset, during the age 16... and she doesn't have sex anymore... I know alten, you are asking me to dump her, Its hard for me. He said 55 and I guess he must be that seins his face and naked body. He asked if I'm at least 16
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:47 PM
So, he is basically keeping legal age. But he could only meet 2 girls bellow age 20. One is my angel and other one is another girl. I know I want to move on but I can't stop thinking about her because I don't judge her based on her unstable mind that time.
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:47 PM
It was that old man manipulating her mind. If I'm telling her about him, how should I start talking ? Because, she easily gets angry over me
Alty
Dec 9, 2010, 10:51 PM
It doesn't sound like you have to dump her;
I have been crying for her for a long time... I just feel her so much although she said she can't be with me since we come from different religion but she likes me a lot, I know that.
She doesn't want to be with you because of your differing religions.
This girl won't change until she gets help. She may not be having sex anymore (I wouldn't bet on it) but she still contacts the 55 year old pedophile scumbag that preys on children.
If you really are a boy, than you have to do what's best for you and your mental health, and leave this girl alone. She has issues, too many for you to deal with. She needs professional help to get away from this 55 year old and to learn to love herself and respect herself.
You said it yourself. This guy is a pedophile, she's had sex with him, and she's still friends with him. What about that doesn't make you realize that she's messed up?
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:54 PM
Last night I was asking her about him and told her she is confused so I'm searching after that guy, she sent me a text "i'm not f******g confused, if u keep doing that i dunno what i will happen"
Alty
Dec 9, 2010, 10:55 PM
If you really feel that you need to tell her that you contacted this guy, than be honest. If she gets mad, that will tell you a lot. That she doesn't want you to know the kind of contact she had and likely still has with this pervert.
Be upfront. Tell her that the last time she sent you bits of her emails with him, she included his email address. You contacted him, pretended to be a teen girl, and he didn't have to ask any further questions, he stripped, played with himself for you to see, and admitted that he likes young girls. He wants to meet you in person for sex.
If that doesn't show her how sick she is for associating with this jerk, than I don't know what will. If she gets angry, take that as a sign and leave, don't look back. Take the tape you have, give it to the cops and let them deal with this sicko. Hopefully once he's behind bars she'll get the help she needs.
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:57 PM
I know she is messed up, that doesn't mean you leave somebdoy you love ? She told me she wants to show me a better her but she don't know she feels like she has another person inside sometimes. I even sometimes thougth, Ill never marry and wait for her 4ever
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 10:58 PM
I don't really want to admit that I love her because I just want to love one girl with my hear, mind and soul.
Anyway, I'm the GUY not the GIRL, she wouldn't be posting here about her being with a married old man
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 11:00 PM
The old man is cleaver. I asked me if he wants to meet, he said lets see... but he was jerking himself and was asking for my girlfriends email address when I said I'm a biosexual ? Then he told everything about my girl but changed the name. I feel bad.
Alty
Dec 9, 2010, 11:02 PM
I know she is messed up, that doesn't mean you leave somebdoy you love ? She told me she wants to show me a better her but she don't know she feels like she has another person inside sometimes. I even sometimes thougth, Ill never marry and wait for her 4ever
I still don't understand. How are you two going to be together when she's made it clear that you're not and you won't be, because of religion?
How can you leave someone you're not with? How can you wait for someone that won't ever marry you, or even date you?
The fact is, she needs help, professional help. That's the only advice I can give you. It's up to you to follow it, or continue doing what you're doing. I can only give you advice, I can't make you take it, any more than you can make her see that what she's doing isn't right.
I wish you luck. Hopefully one day someone will stand up and make sure that old man is put behind bars where he belongs.
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 11:02 PM
Alton I dun want police in this case. I just want her 2 know that this guy is a peado and this guy just took advantage of her when she was just legal age of sex, but still I like her and would accept her as my better half although dats not possible.
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 11:06 PM
Thanks a lot alten,I understand you completely. Actually, we talk a lot daily so by leaving I mean, having very less contact. Anyway, I really love what you said. Thanks a lot. But how should I start telling about this, can you make a speech please
Alty
Dec 9, 2010, 11:08 PM
You have video proof that this guy preys on young girls, and you won't go to the police to make sure he can't do it to anyone else?
He took advantage of your friend, and he's still using her. That's why she needs help.
She says she wants to show you a better her, and then goes home and emails this pedophile. She says she's changed, but freaks out when you mention that you want to contact this man. She may very well feel bad about her past, and she may very well want to change, but she's not changing, and she won't without help.
In the meantime this 55 year old creep is most likely preying on other young girls, and he'll continue, because no one has the guts to stand up to him and make him stop. You have the evidence. You have the proof, but you're just going to walk away, let him continue doing this to other girls, girls like your friend?
I'm done.
I gave you advice. Like I said, I can't make you take it. In the end you'll do what you want, so all I can do is wish you and your friend all the best and hope that it works out.
Good luck.
confusedgirl1
Dec 9, 2010, 11:21 PM
Police won't do anything because 16 is legal age for sex and he confirmed from me first if Im at least 16 ? When I asked my girlfriend is under 16 but she would love to be with u, he said, he don't know. You opened my eyes, Thanks !