So, here is the story, after a 5 year relationship off and on (we're both in mid late 40's), with one interruption where she went off with some rich guy to find out that it was not working and came back... which caused me a lot of pain and as I was recovering we got back a year after she had left _ I went for it because I loved her. We then lived together for close to a year after that but the relationship deteriorated in the last 3-4 months while living in the same apartment - she could not afford to go live somewhere else yet. Some days we were barely talking, but the relationship got heated as she was dating people and coming in late at night or not coming back at all treating my apt as a hotel room! Finally she moved out and I find out now 30 days later that she is marrying some guy that they were distant friends with... I know she does not deserve my even thinking about her, and I am trying very hard, but it bothers me a lot that she is getting married so quickly and posting pictures of happiness and bliss at the beach with someone that can afford a lot more than I can _ 2 months at the beach and travelling overseas! I could not afford that and as I was focusing on my work, I could take care of all our essential needs and a few vacations (yes to europe) ! I think that I truly loved this woman a lot, but not as much the last 3 months _ I keep thinking of whether it was all my fault, that I should have done more to keep her, but something inside me says I could not afford this woman though _ financially or emotionally.

Any advice, help? I feel very anxious and depressed, difficutly in moving forward, sort of paralyzed by the whole situation _ I am a very good person and very succesfull in my career, cannot afford to be dragged down like this! Not sure why I am thinking of things that I cannot change.

Can't believe you didn't kick her out of your apartment after you knew that the relationship was over. You have basically been used as a doormat!

You need to wake up and see this person for what she really was... a superficial, self-centered, selfish,money grubbing, B*&^h! But, hey! You let it happen!

Now your biggest challenge is to try to figure out why you allowed her to treat you this way and not let it happen again. This is the least type of person you should be pinning over and feeling miserable about.. . you even understand this. Get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Be happy that she is good and gone. Stay busy with work, fill your day up with activities. Think about all you can afford with her out of your life... Hell, make plans to go on a trip( europe or where ever)!

DO NOT EVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY WHEN YOU ARE ONLY AN OPTION!

Its called feeling like what you had meant something. That you as a person meant more then mere bag a trash to be thrown to the curb and forgotten about. Not having any validation to this relationship you had with her, that she could replace you so quickly. Does this mean that what she felt for you meant so little.

I know exactly how this feels, but you know something you can continue to drive yourself nuts wondering, but bottom line is you will never really know. Even that is hard to come to grips with, but you will have to realize that this woman best feature was actually called manipulation!! She maybe incapable of ever really being able to express true love.

Its time to move on, and to count your blessings knowing that you aren't stuck with an uncaring phoney person!!

Wow, thanks you guys, it helps to see it from this perspective, but it does hurt to have been manippulated into thinking that there is more there... I will keep these answers so I can refer back to them often!

You were a giver, she was a taker. Didn't work, move on. Now I am sure when the dust settles you will know better, so don't beat yourself up for being too nice. Be good to yourself! Very good.

Thank you talaniman _ good advise, I am trying to do exactly that