Log in

View Full Version : My ex girlfriend still loves me but seeing someone else...


steel2123
Dec 4, 2010, 10:50 PM
Ok I started talking to my ex girlfriend about five days ago.me and her lived together for 1year anything you can almost imagine we did together.we where broked up for about 3or4 months no talking no contact because talking to her again I felt would make me miss her even more so I stayed stronge for those months.

But one day I was thinking about her, so I decided to give her a little text asking how she's been. I don't get a response back from her till like two days later, she askes me what's up so I fill her in on how I'm leaveing for bootcamp to join the Marines in a couple months and just filled her in on something in my life since we broke up. I then asker again what she's doing and she tells me that she is watching sports center.right away I knew that she had to have been with a guy, because I knew she didn't watch sports. I said "so you watch sports now?". She then said YEAH!and that she loves football. Her and her sisters room mate watch it all the time. And then right there I knew the hole thing, she didn't have to tell me I had a gut feeling that her and this guy where together somehow.

Then she starts telling me how him and her are real good friends and that they both are always down to doing what ever. So yeah you could only guess my thoughts lol, so we both kind of like drift from texting I then go to the gym to try and get my mind off the current info I received earlyer that day. Then about 11pm I get a text message from her telling me the truth. She tells me, "theres somthing i need to tell you, it will be alot so hold on" so I wait for the barrage of text messages to come. She then starts it off telling me that she moved to another state with, (you guessed it) that room mate guy. And that she had a break down crying about two nights ago after she got my first text. She told me her and her new boyfriend where drinking and she busted out crying about me in front of him, so she then called her mom talking about what happened and how she felt about me. She tells me that the guy in very jealous of me asking her why can't she feel that way with him. She then gose on telling me how much she misses me and how she is still madly in love with me. And that she thought of me everyday since we broke up,all of this info JUST HITS ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.

I also spilled all my emotions to her. Like how I still was crazy about her and that I loved her etc, since then we still talk and every thing we say is just mushy feelings about each other. But I find it weird how when I talk to her like that she's sitting in the same room with her current boyfriend. I ask her what he thinks about her text me, and she tells me that every now and then he ask who she's talking to, I asked so then what do you say? She tells me that she tells him that she's talking to me. And I'm like WOW and he's comfortable with that? She says "whats he gunna say ive been with you for a hole year and ive only been with him for 1month". And I just said "that that was kinda wierd how he is taking it so comfortly".( I mean how would you feel if a girl you just started dating all of a suddent starts talking to her ex boy friend?) so aperently he has no problem with her talking to me.

Anyway me and here keep talking and she decides she wants to come see me because she misses me so much, and that she can come down in about a week. I asked "and ur boyfriend is comfortable with this????". She tells me that he knows what we had and that its pretty much no big deal, I'm SOOOOO confused about all this... I mean how can she come see me with a boy friend? (by the way the way things are going with the talking I'm pretty sure we will sex when she come to see me... ) I mean it just seems sooo wrong but soooo right at the same time IDK... I asked her one night if she would ever leave him for me, and she didn't say yes or no she said "IT gose threw my mind"... (now I know that my writing sucks) but I need help making sense of all of this... it hurts how I know that they are together but she just wants to visit me and something just makes me hope and feel that she might come back to me once me and her see each other again... but other times I just want to say **** IT and not want anymore part in her weird game,because it just hurts me. How can you just play a guy like that... I love her to death.

thatwasironic
Dec 5, 2010, 04:03 AM
Inevitably is all up to her. I know it hurts, and I can understand how confusing this is. I myself am in a similar situation. All I can say is, and I know it's a cliché but, tell her how you feel.Tell her everything and expect nothing in return. Telling her how you feel is something for you; hopefully it will make you feel better. Who knows she may feel the same way. She might not, but you will have an answer.

Whether you get back together you need to respect both her feelings and your own.

You are soon joining the Marines (I admittedly don't know exactly what this entails but I expect long distances) and she is currently living with another man in another state, these are things you should talk about when discussing your feelings.

I highly recommend not sleeping (sex) with her. Regardless of how you both may feel; she is currently in a relationship and sex now would be cheating. If you ever do get back together, knowing she didn't cheat with you will make you more confident she won't cheat on you.
...
You may find this amusing...
... while writing this message to you... I... I just got dumped.
... I'm not kidding... (sigh)... Ironic...
I was writing this to you to try and better understand my own situation; she had... She has... feelings for her old... now current... (sigh)... boyfriend.
... (sigh)...


But I digress; if for nothing else than my sake... please don't sleep with her while they are still together.
Who knows perhaps my misfortune will be a sign of good fortune for you. I had more to say but... as you can imagine, my mind is somewhere else right now.

I hope this helped in some way, if none other than it just made you laugh at the Irony... (sigh)...

Sincerely,
Irony Hurts.

gara
Dec 5, 2010, 05:36 AM
Man I heard your story , and man what kind of feelings it's when you break up with some one and you are jonining the marines , man you are really strong , I have to admit that , man I broke up with my girl friend , about three month same as u , and man I'm alone, I don't meet my friends only in the weekends only , and I sit alone in the house just thinking about her , fighting with my mind it's like war world 3, sometimes I pick up the phone , and when 'm about to dail her number , I put the phone down , any way man enough about me , all I'm saying is you are really strong guy , and respect for that man , and about this case , it's really confusing man , I mean she have boy friend and he is cool let her talking with you on the phone , I mean seriously man any guy in the world will be pist off if my girl strarting talking with her ex, man listen she will be coming to you , but I want you to ask her question, ask her are you ready to come back with me , and can you handle our relationship if I went far away from you , and man if you have sex with her , it will attach to you for her more and more , and man I don't trust her , so I want you to find out ever thing ask her all your question in your head to her , and make sure every thing is right

ironhide262
Dec 5, 2010, 08:08 AM
If there was any time to check your emotions and look at facts this is definitely it!

You are going to end up in , to quote the marines, "A world of SH##!" if you let your feeling and emotions run amuck!

She's in another state, living with another guy! Is she really available? Was she the one that picked up the phone and called you? Right now, as it stands, this girl is , at best,confused. There better be some definite signs from her that she not only wants to get back together but, also that she wants to work on any problems that caused your breakup. This could all just be some crazy roller coaster ride back to hell. Do you really think her boyfriend really knows how much she is chatting with you or that she is going to meet up with you? Was she chatting with this guy while you were going out with her? What does this say about her as a person?

Besides, you are joining the Marines... getting back together with someone the second time can be a lot harder than the first. Are you going to be available to commit to this? Put your emotions aside and find out what her intentions are... is she talking,acting, moving in a direction that wants to be with you? Don't just get back together to just get dumped!

talaniman
Dec 5, 2010, 10:46 AM
Are you crazy or something?? Why would you allow yourself to get re hooked with an ex that is willing to cheat on another guy right to his face? You screwed up by even texting her out of the blue. Look fella, tell her your enlisting, and she needs to stay where she is and YOU should leave her alone.

Heck its only a week end shag for you both and you go ahead with your life because for sure she will not be sitting home alone while you play soldier. You know it, She knows it, so what's the point of asking for trouble, because you can't control yourselves and your lusts.

Get your own life, and leave hers alone, as there is little future with a female that has time for you, and someone else she so easily dismisses, to his freakin' face no less!

steel2123
Dec 5, 2010, 02:08 PM
I would like to say thank you to everyone of your comments.. they are very helpful to me,giving me a lot of different perspectives on all of this. I would like to add that the reason whay she didn't call me or text me was because she got a new phone and it ended up freezing so she said she had to reset it, in the process she lost all of her contact on her phone. And its like every single day so far, its almost like clock work she texts me everyday at around the same time saying "Hey :)" and its just even harder and omg the things she's says to me just makes my heart sore... (sigh), but my mind tells me to be careful...
</3 sigh.. now last night I decided to maybe not text her for a hole day and see how it gose... also id like to add that I broke up with her.. because of the things she did. Now that I think about it everything that she's doing to her current boyfriend she did to me but in a milder manner. Because I remember one time she got drunk with me one time early on in are relationship and she called her ex also crying... hmmm

mystific
Dec 5, 2010, 07:54 PM
I think you just need to focus on you and what you're doing.

You're starting a new life and career and you don't need 'old history' weighing you down.

Leave her be and let her live her life and mess up anyone she wants to. You've had it, done it, been used by it.. its time to move on and find someone who wants to be with you and not be hung up on an ex.

Good luck.