agghhh123
Dec 4, 2010, 04:45 PM
Hey, this is my first question, but I really want to know, what should I do? I have no-one to talk to, my mum is dead, she dies when I was 10, if my dad see's me crying, he tells me to "JUST GET OVER IT!" my brother is no-help! He just laughs at me, no grandparents or aunties or uncles, and I am too worried about talking to my mums old best friend (from when she was alive) but here it is. My question. I think I might be going crazy! When I look in the mirror, I start to think my reflection is alive, and against me, it gives me evil looks! Once I didn't have a shower for a year, I only had baths because I thought if I had a shower someone's hand, arm, will come for me, and try to take me, I don't like coming home from school when I'm alone, and its dark, it makes me feel like someone is there, watching me, trying to get me, I sometimes dream about hurting myself, like what if I just died, when I get sick or evan have a headache, I don't care, I kind of like it, because the pain and uncomfort from that drains my thoughts from what's happening around me. A lot of what I do has to be symmetrical, like if I cut my finger, I would try to cut the opposite finger on my other hand, otherwise it wouldn't feel right, it would feel WRONG! In school I get good grades, but if I get a a- or a b or a c I suddenly think I'm not good enough, because everyone around me is really good at this, and why can't I do it like them?? I am in year 8 or senior/secondary school, and my dad gives me loads of responsibility as much as if you were starting yourself, moved into a flat and had to do everything yourself, cook, clean, shop. And since my mum died, he hasn't really ever let me be sad or hasn't let me relax, because I always have to have my eye on the ball! Doing something! I can't tell anyone this because I am afraid if I tell my friends they will they will think I am mental and not be friends with me anymore, or think I only ever think about myslef! I over heard my dad talking the other day, saying I am insecure, I don't really know what this means, but I don't know, some of my friends already think I am depressed, I do have a few of the symptoms, but, I just don't know what to do? Who to talk to or anything!! Please help, thanks