Okay, I'm 25 so I'm mature enough to handle criticism and mature enough to know that I probably should have left this relationship long ago. But now I'm in a situation that I can't walk away from. I had been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. Over the course of the relationship I supported him financially when he needed it.. for example... he was in college (which I pushed him to re-enroll after getting involved in partying) and didn't have a job. His parents refused to give him anymore money and I supported him for 2 years... rent, bills, clothes, social activities, you name it. My support wasn't always just financial either... he had made some bad decisions and although he treated me bad, I was always there to push him and remind him that good people make bad mistakes. He lies ALL the time and I always catch him in lies. The first year of our relationship was GREAT! We got along and were so in love. After that it went down hill. I feel like he wanted to take a break to see what he wanted but never had the guts to because of how much I had done for him. He started lying about EVERYTHING... talking to girls behind my back... getting drunk and verbally abusing me. I always accepted his apologies and took him back. Two years ago I was pregnant and after I told him he broke up with me and said he needed his space... he didn't understand what was going on. I found out that what he meant by space was seeing a girl who he had been dating for nearly 8 months behind my back. He still denies this but I have spoken to many and enough resources that I know the truth. I ended up miscarrying the baby. I split from him for about 8 months and actually dated somebody in the mean time. Around April of this year we started talking again and decided to try to make things work. A few of my stipulations were that he had to put a relationship up on Facebook (because that's where I had caught him talking to girls and lying a zillion times) and that he had to apologize to my mom because my mom had very strong negative feelings towards him and I couldn't date him with that looming over my shoulders. He apologized to mom but never would proclaim his relationship... not only on Facebook but even to friends. My trust issues still caused us to fight NONSTOP and we were both miserable. At the beginning of October he started taking me around his friends... telling me he wanted a future and wanted to have children very soon. (he recently graduated and found a job so his life was coming together). I was starting to think this would work... however, he has a history of telling me he wants to get married and that I'm everything to him but changing his mind at the first sign of an argument. I found out 2 weeks later that I was pregnant and he said he needed his space. I was confused and begged and cried and couldn't believe he would do this to me after HE was the one who said he wanted all of this. He has since completely distanced himself from me yet tells me he loves me and that he doesn't deserve me. He says that he will be there for his child but doesn't know what he wants from me. I told him that I didn't want to be with someone who only wanted to be with me because of a child and that if he couldn't make this decision on his own after 5 years that there's no sense in him struggling to try anymore. I don't know what to do. I know that I could put the past behind me and make things work and not question him if he did a few simple things to show me and prove his honesty again but he just thinks it's too much to work on and he's not willing to put forth the effort. I'm struggling with having to deal with yet another heart break and being pregnant. He's telling me that I have to talk and communicate with him because of the baby, yet it is so hard for me and makes me EXTREMELY emotional every time I hear that he's going out with his friends or living his life... because let's face it... I now have restrictions. I could deal with one of these things but a break up combined with being pregnant with the mans baby... I'm at a loss. Please help :(

Condoms are not only for birth control, but they also work against STDs, especially when one of you plays around.

You know what I'm going to say, but I will say it anyway. You made a mistake by staying in the relationship when you found out about his lies. Another one by taking him back after you saw how he reacted to your first pregnancy. Now you are stuck with the consequences. Even if he comes back, what kind of father do you think he will be?

You need your man to be reliable, now more than ever. He isn't. So he shouldn't be in your life, unless he wants to keep contact with his kid - and that should be the only relationship you have with him. Seek help from your friends and family, even professionals when you need it - but keep him out of your life, he sounds like a lot of trouble.

I am not surprised you feel at a loss, you are getting misxed signals and it is not fair on you and certainly not this baby. He seems to walk in and out of your life whenever he feels like it, and trust me - he'll do exactly the same with this baby, and it will hurt that child so much when she/he gets a lot older. Honestly I think you should just tell him straight, he has to be there for the child at all times and every situation or not at all. He is the father of this child and you can't shut him out of life until he has a shot at being a dad. I do think you should just be linked together by this baby and not anything more... You have tried so hard it seems with him and gave him every change you can possibly give, he is immature and you deserve a man that will love you and support you through everything. Just because you are going to be a mum, does not mean you won't meet anybody else, and when you do meet someone who accepts you and the baby you will know he is the one that's worth keeping. Hang in there, and I really hope things will go well for you

My heart aches for you.

He said one thing that was truthful: he doesn't deserve you. I know you are probably in immense pain and you regret not leaving him earlier, but if you still hold onto him, in the future you will regret not leaving him now.

It will probably be the hardest thing that you have to do, but it will be a lot better to hurt now and begin to heal instead of just making it worse. If you are worried about the child, you could consider adoption, but I think aborting the baby will probably make the pain worse.

If he really loved you, he would have done anything to be with you, and be that man in your life. Don't make someone your priority when they only make you an option. It hurts, but it will hurt a lot less later if you get out now.

I wish I could help you. I really do =[

I already posted but I just wanted to add one thing..

You are strong enough to get through this. If you've supported both him and yourself for two years, without seemingly getting anything in return, that just goes to show how selfless, independent, and strong willed you are. As I said before, it will probably be the hardest thing that you will have to do, but there is someone out there who is going to give to you and love you and be there for you. Unfortunately, that isn't found in your current man.

Well you have tried the depending and loving support route with him, and that didn't work at all. Try the stand on your own approach to protect yourself from him and, get the courts involved, for child support and strict visitations.

Remember his wants and needs no longer matter, just those of YOU, and your child, as you do what's it takes to safely get your own act together after, foolishly wasting so much time on this lying, cheating, irresponsible loser!

Yes you made some dumb decisions before, but they can be corrected by doing the right things for yourself, and your future child NOW.

You don't have to be a loser like this idiot. Not unless you want to be.

YOUR CHOICE! Make a good one.