Hi,
I have been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years now. Last year my ex hump buddy came back into the picture. We have been doing it almost every week like 2 times a week for a year now. Me and my hump buddy meet 6 years ago and been humping every since until 3 years ago. I was in love with him then but he was in a relationship then and I wasn't. Then we went our diffident ways. Until last year when he came back into the picture. Yes I love my boyfriend but is it wrong to be in love with somebody else when you not in love with the person you with? Like he treats me well and my boyfriend do to but he just can't put it on me like this guy can.the guy told me one day that when me and him use to hook up then that he wanted me to be his baby mommy. I don't want to be just a baby mommy I want to be a wife. Well now we still hook up but that haven't came up again. Until I was like you know me and you will make a beautiful baby one day and he was like damn right we will. Well just 3 weeks ago we just started to do it once a week. He blew me off the other times. Well tonight we were suppose to hook up but he blew me off again he did it once before 3 months ago he said he felt to sleep. Well tonight he had his boy's over watching the game. He told me he would it me up after the game and after his boy's lifted. Well the game been over for 3 hrs now and no text from him or any calls from him. I text him an hr ago and said what's good no response. Ok 30 minutes pasted I text him again and said good night maybe next time no response. So I text him back 5 minutes later and said I can't believe you blew me off again and you know what no response again. Like what should I do call or text him tomorrow and ask him what happened or just let it go. Like I really in love with this guy its something about him that made me fall back in love with him all over again. I don't want to break it off with the guy I'm with now because I don't know if the other guy wants what I want and I don't want to throw away 3 years for nothing maybe we can work it out after I tell him what's been going on behind his back will he leave me or stick it out with me like I don't know. I don't want to be by myself. Like this other guy do I just let him go or should I stick it out and wait and see or just forget him. Like I really need y'all help like I;m really confuse right now. Like I love the guy I'm with but the in love part have went away like a year in a half ago before my ex hump buddy came back into the picture. Like I seen texts from my boyfriend ex girlfriend wanting to get back with him they were together for 5 years. They talk all the time still. Like texting and calling one other all the time. How do I know this because he forgets to delete his messages and phone contacts some times. So I go threw his phone when he in the shower. Like is he cheating on me with her or it's just I'm imagine it. Like they be texting for 2 yrs now he still don't know that I know they been talking. I know I know I have one messed up relationship, and what's the bad thing about it we moved in together last year with one another so please please please help me out. Love y'all dearly I truly do.

You are right that you have a messed up relationship. You have a lot of nerve to go through your bf's phone and accuse him of cheating on you with his ex whom he's only been talking with. While you are the one ACTUALLY CHEATING on him by HUMPING your ex as you so graciously put it. In my opinion you don't deserve your boyfriends love or anyone's for that matter. You don't want to throw away the 3 years you've had with him, well the infedelity you've committed over the past few weeks have surely taken care of that. If he does leave you if and when he finds out, and I hope for his sake he finds out how low of a person you are, you will have gotten what you deserved. I also hope your old guy continues to blow you off as you don't deserve to be with him either. Learn to stop cheating on people and understand that is more to life than sex! Please don't use the term love either because what you have done and what you have written show that you have no idea what love is!

Just come clean, and take your chances. Then leave them both alone, and learn to be alone.

You wouldn't know love if it hit you in the face, and it probably has, but other parts of your body over rule you brains.

That's why your life is a mess, so my advice, close your legs and open your mind.

You have been digging your own grave for a while now. First of all, you do not deserve the guy that you are with right now. You don't trust him, and a relationship without trust cannot work. You are not only no "in love" with him, but you don't love him, because if you did you would not put his happiness in jeopardy the way you are doing now. You have not cheated on him to begin with, and not only have you been cheating on him constantly and over a long period, but you are also using him as a back up. And the reason why you think he is doing something bad with his ex (when she is probably just a friend, even though you deserve to be cheated on), is only because you are so messed up. You want advise on how to fix this, it is very simple, STOP!! Stop putting people in harms way, stop lying, stop being a cheater, stop the relationship with both of them, and stop being so dam selfish! You have shown your true colors to your ex, and he is probably just banging you because he sees nothing promising in you, he is just getting his nut, so thankfully he won't come out hurt from this. But you need to end the relationship with the guy you are with official NOW! Before things deteriorate any further!! And please, think about what you are doing before you go on and be so ****ing selfish!

Good Luck,

Javi