Earlier this year, I was in a relationship with a woman who I fell completely in love with. We were both going through a divorce at the time. I was her first relationship since her split, and I dated a lot prior to meeting her (she was lucky #13).

When we would talk about our 'past lives' with our exes, I would tell her how great her ex seemed -- great job, good looking guy, non-abusive, etc. About 6 months into our relationship, she asked me if she should apologize to him for what happened between them (he initiated the divorce & kicked her out). I told her that if she needed closure, then she should so that she and I can move forward with our lives together. After their talk is when she broke up with me, and she got back with her husband.

That was back in June 2010. I initiated no contact and moved on with my life. Since then, she had contacted 3 times via text. In her 3rd text, she told me that she isn't living with her husband and they are taking things 'one day at a time.' Last week, she contacted me a 4th time to tell me that a certain song reminds her of me and that I've been on her mind. She also told me that she misses me. Just this past Sunday, she texted again to ask what my daughter was going to be for Halloween (they were pretty close) and said that maybe we could talk next week.

At first, I thought nothing of it, but then it's been starting to bug me... why is she contacting me after all this time? I thought we had a 'good' breakup. Is she looking for closure? What do I do when she calls? I am so confused! I am still in love with her, but I know that she is still married...

Thanks.

Don't you feel that hook in your mouth being pulled!! Delete her texting, don't acknowledge it. She jumped out of the boat you were sailing into another guys, and now wants back in. Some people are just never fully satisfied with a committed relationship, they are the kind that only enjoy that first passion only.

I guess its up to you. Are you willing to play this game again or not. You need to also remember she is cheating on her husband. She has such great values, I can see why you would want her as example to your children!! I wonder what her children will think of your values if you cheat with their mother!

Yes because the discussion that lead to your breakup was for 'closure'.

But hey if you're willing to give it another go I say go for it, just wait for that conversation you'll have in another 6 months where she needs to apologise to her husband again.. you know.. looking for closure.

If she is taking it slowly with her husband, I do not see a reason saying to someone else I miss you, except being insecure and not knowing what she wants. Is it fair to her husband? To you? She needs to clear it in her head first, maybe that is why she is asking you to see you, to see if still there is some feelings in her for you. Be friendly but do not expect anything, or tell her what you feel and leave it, move on. She has to decide but not this way.

then she should so that she and I can move forward with our lives together. After their talk is when she broke up with me, and she got back with her husband... she isn't living with her husband and they are taking things 'one day at a time.
She dumped you once, but she has figured out how she can have her cake and eat it too! Disappear from her life so you can enjoy #14.

Talaniman Rules- when you get dumped, don't go back to get dumped again

Talaniman Rule- Stay away from any one that has an ex involved in their lives.

It was great at first, but you don't need this drama. You have come to far to be STUCK!!

Thanks everyone. I've already moved on and if she does call, I won't be trying to work my way back in. She needs to work on her marriage or end it if she wants me to reconsider... but I don't know if that's what she wants. Again, thanks or the support!