I just read a question about a curse and had to ask the same question... really bad things happen to me, over and over again in a really intense cyclic pattern and cycle that no matter what I do.. just seems ot get worse, and worse and regurgitate into this... pattern... what I mean is.. I am "always" suffering... people are ALWAYS doing bad things to me... this isn't just friends, family... everyone... I have no friends.. my only 'friend' is a sociopath who torments me and is out to destroy me... ive tried for years to meet people but people just turn away from me, hate me, dislike me... for no reason... im attractive, nice, sweet.. yet people loathe me.. and it makes no sense.. people yell at me... its like I'm this 'target'.. this isn't delusional beliefs or just an idea... places I go people end up trash talking me, treating me bady... its as if I'm this other creature and 'humans' treat me oddly... it makes no sense... on top of that.. people are out to destroy my life... family members... have done really bad things to me... in traps that I can't ge tout of and in order to I have to go through the legal system... and undo... this, that... and more and more... as in the way I'm writing... everything becomes more and more complex... and the harder I try to take back my 'power' get back my rights... fight my battles, make sure justice is done... nothing happens... everything gets worse and worse and the worst part is that I'm blamed for all the cruel things people have done to me.. as if someone can come slap me in the face.. and I can't say.. hey no... I'l be blamed for it and more bad will happen to me... every day of my life every moment is this suffering... people putting me down, any person I encounter treats me badly (over 95% of people or many)... ive never had a boyfriend yet I'm really pretty and men treat me like dirt.. women hate me.. people treat me with some contempt and hatred it is scary... yet I am very nice, sweet, pretty pleasant... it makes no sense.. I used to think it was jealousy, but that makes no sense either... if I speak my opinion about 'anything' people tend to fight me, disagree just to disagree and put me down... everyone just wants to fight me, insult me, demean me, treat me with disrespect.. I used to say and still say I've never witnessed a person get treated as badly as I do by anyone and everyone.. if I attempt to go into social groups, I get ignored, rejected.. people tend to reject me in anything... I can't make friends.. everyone treats me like a monster, but I'm a beautiful woman.. im not arrogant or dress any way... just normal down to earth, laid back.. very cool.. but people act as if I'm weird, run away, act crazy... but worse it's the people who have done awful cruel things t ome-- to ruin my life, take away my rights, credibility etc... in ways I can't describe.. recently... family members made me leave my home (they own it and I pay rent) so they can have it renovated.. so I can live with them temporarily and they can control, abuse berate me and threaten the police on me, threaten other things... try to call me names, and want to do even more bad htings to me.. I can't get away because I have no place to go and no one will even let me stay with them a week... it makes no sense as I'm very friendly, nice, an awesome person and people just seem to want to put me down, have control/power over me... if I try to fight and set my boundaries, they don't care.. they ignore me and treat me like a child.. yet many people do this to me... I always seem to lose these battles too.. I try hard to get my rights, justice.. yet those who do 'evil' or bad to me, always win, I suffer horribly and they can continue doing this to me... it makes me feel like.. evil wins and good loses and this battle never ends... when one battle ends, another begins.. and they are very extreme situations... it makes me feel trapped, confused, weak... powerless... then it goes on and on in a cycle... and then when I finally ge tout of one horror, another begins.. with hordes of people trying to control/destroy, torment abuse and ruin me.. even people who are very cruel and sadistic... the harder I try to regain my rights, power, independence, the harder I can't get it and more bad keeps happening to me.. its lik eone of those movies where no matter how hard you try to get away, you can't.. and you keep suffering... and bad keeps happening... how ca nsomeone end this... curse, cycle, etc... ive tried al sorts of techniques... and nothing works, and the same keeps happening... it feels like, helpless, trapped... really bad... I try to get a boyfriend, meet someone.. it won't happen... yet for others everything happens so simply... its 'normal' yet for me... just really odd things keep happening.. its like persecution... and I have to fight for myself, my rights... all the time.. with constant suffering...

Also to add t othis post... ie I'm the original author.. I'm a sensitive, empath, compassionate caring person... normal down to earth... I love to heal people and help yet all I get from people is extreme negativity and hatred that I cna't describe... people come into my presence and just begin acting crazy and abusing me insulting me.. doing anything to throw the most extreme amt of negative energy to me... its so predictable that I can't imagine people treating me with respect, because they don't... I go to a restaurant.. the girl behind the counter I don't even know or never have encountered insults me saying "i dont want to deal with HER"... why me? People do this t ome all the time... extreme bad treatment.. usually its much worse.. people acting like 'eww gross' giving me nasty looks.. people doing bad things to me, I've had people throw things at me.. if I get into a social situation usually its people ignoring me or extremely bad treatment... its as if people can't or won't give me anything positive only negative.. staying with family has been a horror of being 'intimidated, threatened, harassed, insulted, demeaned'... constantly.. putting me in fear.. along with many other things can't even talk about here.. everyone twants to bring me down... but the odd thing is I look like someone who people would love... I look like a pretty nice sweet down to earth girl next door... with the months tpositive energy/aura... and it surprises me that people react with such contempt to someone so positive and nice.. and people are so judgmental and cruel towards someone too... is this a curse, bad luck, demons... yes I've been told I have demons or negative entities... yet can they make everyone turn on you or against you... in this intricate pattern.. and method... that is so predictable... the things that happen to me are also so bizarre and complex... its like all these details of horror that spiral into this black hole.. of more crap... the moment I attempt to get back any power... I even 'attempt' it.. do one thing... to try to undo this 'control' others have... it unleashes more bad towards me... and more hell for me and makes it even more difficult to get back my power... or to undo the wrongs tha thave been done to me... its so systematic its shocking... how it works... it seems like a trap to where I can't do anything about my situation and the harder I try, the more I'm going to be shown that I'm trapped hopeless, helpless... then I try more and more... and it becomes harder and a bigger trap.. and it seems to get out of this... is some huge labyrinth mystery that I can't solve... and it makes you feel very hopeless confused and unsure of what to do, because if you try to help yourself again, you know more bad will happen to you---is there a name for this kind of curse, bad situation... its very intricate and so complex, but also so predictable... I feel that there has to be an explanation for it...

I am neither a psychiatrist or psychologist but can see that
It is hard to assess much with such a complicated situation and only generalities to deal with.
What some see as cruel and mean others see as necessary truths , or part of life.

If your perspective is that everything is bad or against you, you may unconsciously be partially
Responsible , or entirely responsible for setting things in that direction because it is expected.
Or it is not happening to the extent you deem it is.

With a situation of the magnitude you describe I recommend you see a professional counselor.
It will take extensive examination of the circumstances to try to find the answers and sort out
What took place over what seems to be many years of conflict.

It would be in your best interest to at least try to see a professional.
I doubted their worth until I went to see one.
I now think she is the main reason I am still (arguably) sane.

We are always here in this public forum to talk and try to help,
But some times it takes the time and attention of a face to face
Meeting with a real person to help.

I wish you well

Interesting...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-law/help-baker-act-psychiatric-situation-521605.html

OK I'm the original author, but it doesn't matter... what I feel say or think... this is my reality... I don't need a counselor to determine or understand anything... except get help on alternate perspectives and therapy (dont get me wrong I do need a counselor badly and would love to go to one and have been searching)... yet in my situation... b/c of the nature of it... I really can't get help... what I'm describing is something to where... no matter what I do... I am trapped... aside from the bad treatment.. which isn't just my perspective... ive had people around me commenting on it.. when it occurs... ive been out with people who have stated how badly I got treated... how ridiculous it was... I will go to a restaurant with someone and say... the people here know me.. somehow... then a waiter comes and begins talking about me to the person.. saying.. oh she's this and that... she sits on this side of the seat... and telling them so much about me.. yet I haven't seen or talked to this waiter in months... I don't even remember him... (this isn't bad treatment just again weird treatment that happens many places I go to)... everyone in life gets treated badly, I think and things happen and there's a way to focus on things, but when you go through what I've been through, its just different... you get bad treatment or odd treatment just about everywhere and by many or most people... in my current situation.. I have tried numerous times to get or find counselors... I can't... people cancel, one counselor I had ran away from me from the beginning I had to almost coerce him into coming to my therapy appointments... it was ridiculous... and out there.. and finally when he missed appts I told him I wanted regular therapy... and I didn't get wha the was doing.. then he came to my door one day, banged on it really hard and left.. really odd... others won't see me.. or its just this huge complicated mess.. that they seem to create for one reason ro another.. I was abused almost by an entire counseling center once.. and tossed from counselor to couneslor who were all saying bad things about me.. trash talking to to one another and saying I had an 'addiction' (to my abusive so-caled partner) when I was dealing with a severe domestic violence situation... it was cruel and scary yet that's what people will do to me.. or its this thing wher no matter how hard you try to find someone it just won't happen... im not saying its impossible but its really difficult... ive scheduled appointments gone to people, then suddenly, my insurance was gone... and then I had to try to get a different insurance and I couldn't... then I had to try to find people but I don't have enough money to go to anyone... people I went to were equally abusive or bad to me... it feels like everything you try to do won't happen is sabotaged or yes it feels like the universe is against you.. and then you try to get tha tone thing and more chaos happens circumstances occur that make it more difficult... maybe everyone feels that way I don't know... or in some situations but in mine it is with almost everything I do... everything just goes to hell, chaos happens and anything that is beneficial for me just won't occur or is extremely difficult to impossible... currently I'm in a situation where I'm trying to find someone whose place I can stay at temporarily for a week.. or even a few days... I have no money for a weekly hotel... yet no one will let me stay with them... all people do is abandon you, turn away... another thing I've witnessed is that when you ask help from people for simple minor things that anyone can get-- no one helps you... everyone does anything to turn away, be negative... I find this really odd as anyone I know if they were in a bind has a friend to call to ask if they can stay with them during a time of crisis... I find it odd that a beautiful young intelligent woman has no one to call and people I ask all just turn away, act weird, act as if I have to 'give them something'... im scared to even ask people for help because I know they will say no... becaues they have been cruel to me in the past anyway and not treated me well.. so why would they help me out now... people act as if coming to my place just to hang out with me is a huge chore--many people do... or its some extreme thing... why me? Everyone goes to people's houses and does things with them... so now I'm stuck dealing with 'my situation' and I can't seem to find an out or a solution... its almost as its sabotaged to where you 'have' to deal with it... b/c the harder you try to find a solution even in something so minor, you can't... part of me freaking out currently is the mere fact that I have no one to ask if I can stsay with them and worse, every shelter I've called has turned me away... yes I've just called two but women's shelters turning people away... who are in bad situations... yeah some have criteria but still... it seems anyone I turn to just turns away from me and the only person I have to ask is a sociopath... who is like an ex boyfried but someone who treated me lower than anything I've ever heard of... wouldnt be in my presence.. charged me money to see him.. was sadistic... hes saying I can stay with him... if I 'do anything he says and if he can take porn pictures of me and if I service him and let him use me as a '*** rag'.. along with scary and sadistic things... so scary... this is a person who for weeks told me I could stay with him... and kept actnig concerned but being a sociopath... the moment I needed him of coures he would turn on me and use it against me just to torment me... so then I'm stuck dealing with an abusive family... who is trying to do awful things to me.. other people I talk to try to get me to gain their trust, during a dire situation so they can try to get sex off me... or something or control me... I find my reality odd that I can't ask anyone if I can stay with them a few days... and anyone I do ask turns me away... but in my weird situation I already can feel that's going to happen... and it doesn't make sense why... it feels uncontrollable and weird... and something I can't change... and anyone I ask will end up trying to use me... and as far as people treating me badly.. ive been out with people in the past who have made statements such as "omg.. EVERYONE is staring at you'... omg?? Why is everyone staring at you... its like your a celebrity? So its not 'me' or just me making claims of odd or bad treatment... the things that happen to me , in my opinion are strange... and worse the fact that you always feel stuck with no solution and people doing bad things t oyou and no one to turn to... im sure lots of people feel 'stuck' or even are 'stuck'.. but from what I've witnessed in life... it seems most people don't get turned away for any simple thing... then again I could be wrong and maybe people do... to me it just seems strange or just not right... it is cause and effect.. but it seems so mechanical... and it's the same pattern... adn none of it makes sense... also I'm always in a 'situation' where I'm 'suffering' and needing help from people in some way... and people are turning away from me or using my need to try to ge tsomething off me or to use me... whereas with other people.. they not only aren't in those situations but if they are... they can find that simple help easily... and with no problem... it just doesn't make sense to me... and the whole situation every bit of it... is just weird...

For jt's response to my link.. sorry but my situation is not paranoia or bizarre thinking.. I've had others confirm the 'odd treatment'... the other things are situations literally occurring.. so they are not psychiatric in nature... if someone yells at me for no reason its not a made up situation... someone is yelling at me. When I was at wal-mart and a cashier just seemed t obe getting more and more pissed off at me for no reason then just threw the receipt at me.. its nothing I did... the whole 'other situation' is just linked into this extremely bad luck weird stuff that began happening to me many years ago... its just there to play into my loss of credibility and the fact that no matter what I do I'm screwed.. b/c now on top of all the bad things occurring then its easily going to be labeled something else... or my credibility will be gone... its as if these odd things are occurring... so as to make me go around making statements about these odd things (which are occurring)... so that the other situation at play can then be used against me (and why not because the things I encounter are very odd and do sound out there and are).. but they are happening... most of the time I sit around going.. *** just happened there? People treat me badly... maybe because of jealousy... or it could be 'something else'... but people do treat me badly... that perpetuates a cycle of... oh... she thinks people treat her badly.. duh persecutory beliefs? What else could it be... but the sad reality is it is persecution... ive had spiritual friends say... or a semi friend say 'you've been through persecution and I don't know how you do it."... there are people who acknowledge that there eis such a concept for thoes who are under supposed 'spiritual attack or warfare' and it is a real occurrence to them... or real in general... I wasn't labeled 'psychiatric' for statements I made about 'ill treatment'... to anyone... it was done so by a malicious mother when I was 20 years of age and in collge and doing great in life.. and someone who wanted to destroy me... never once did I talk abou tanything odd... and during a time when she had a chance to destroy me or take control- she did so maliciously... but it plays in with my ill fated destiny that everything seems to have occurred in this intricate manner that... people seem to be against me anyway for whatever reason I can't pinpoint... they are looking for a way to put me down.. im highly spiritual and anything negative tha thappens to me perpetuates a strong pattern that seemingly gets worse... there aer people wh ohave done cruel things to me not out of concern or a real situation... they have done so through lies, betrayal, and false innuendos... but it all fits together nicely to compeltely obliterate me, the person who has been victim to all of this horror... the 'odd things that happen to me' that I claim are not just stated by me, but by others... who have been around me and witnessed it-- not all the things but many... if I get 'banned' from a place.. or 'kicked out'... its not something I'm imagining... I a mgetting banned.. and for what reason... of course nothing I did since I'm the eternal victim... in this entire ridiculous scenario... I was late to a meeting so then I got kicked out? Not right... people kick me out for things that are unheard of... what I'm saying is... it is all something that I can't even write about because it is so inrticately interwoven and I'm sure one pattern perpetuates the next... and creates a cycle... that can't be stopped it seems... with spiritual warfare--which is real to many people... 'evil' is attacking someone in order to destroy them and using others against them... so what better way than to destroy someone's credibility... no one out there believes in 'negative forces' or evil or etc.. entities... (some do but the average will say its crazy) so then of course the concept of... suer she's this or that... can just be thrown in to further claim that yes she is delusional, when I nreality... spiritual warfare isn't a delusion, neither are 'demons'... whether its what is happening to me o rnot... something odd is.. something that is unexplainable and bizarre... but something that is in turn trying to 'destroy me'... on levels that are indescribable... evil tries to keep you in fear-suffering, down hopeless, helpless... which is what I'm having to experience... literally 24/7... so I've been told by a lot of christians that I'm under heavy attack by 'the devil' or evil or whatever you want to call it, which I believe is the truth... but the situation is so ridiculously intertwined and complex.. that its hard to describe every aspect of it... but when I walk into a place and someone out for the blue just does osmething crazy to me... yells at me, treats me with contempt and it happens over 70% of the places I go to-- something weird is happening there... whatever it is... it is a reality I can't get out of... I wish it was just a delusion, or what yo uthink... but its not... could I tbe subconscious projection or the perpetuation of cycles---yes... or other things... im sure it is but the problem is I don't know how to stop it and icant seem to control it-- but I don't believe its just that.. I do believe it is acombination of many things... that is just so confusing that... I can't pinpoint what to do and again the more I try... the worse it gets...

I think you are so convinced that everything is against you that no matter what the situation is , you will find the negativity you expect and seem to seek.

When people learn that you are expecting , seeking, and finding malice in most of your interactions with world , it can cause them to be uneasy, defensive,
And could actually be the catalyst that is a contributing factor of their actions and reactions to you.

It may also be not as complex as it seems.
Because you are so analytical , and looking so deeply into the aspects of your life , you may be seeing more than is really involved in many situations.

People will find what they seek in life because each person is the judge of what they find.

You are obviously intelligent and well educated and should know that we all need help from various sources to try to get by in life.
Open your mind and don't be so convinced you are so totally right that no other opinions , facts , or circumstances can even be considered .

I felt very similar to the way you feel for many years. Miserable , depressing , bleak years lacking any joy, happiness or satisfaction about any aspect of my life because of what others thought about me and my lifestyle.

It was the time I spent with counselors , that I deemed useless and stupid and wasting my time , that finally got me to see that the only opinion I need to be concerned with is mine.

I know who and what I am and what anyone else thinks, does, or says cannot change what I am.

When I became aware that I am only affected by what I allow to affect me, my life took on a new meaning that included being happy and satisfied regardless of outside influences and opinions , and judgement .

Negativity breeds more negativity.

You will find what you seek be it good or evil.

No, I'm not convinced bad will happen.. in fact... I was optimistic many many years... every situation, everything... I believed... oh this is going to be egreat... and it went to hell... unfortuntaely... that is not the situation... by any means.. the way these situations work is that bad will happen t oyou so consistently to wear you down make you hopeless... b/c you are 'that' optimistic... because you are so positive in everything you do... it is there to show you that no matter what you do.. you are '****ed'... to put it bluntly... this has been happening year after year... situation after situation... its one t othe next... it never ends... it gets to a point where I have to prepare... especially when I know its going to be bad and usually... its so bad I can't eve ncope with it-- if 'everything' you did went to 'hell' literally... you would lose hope quickly--sure you wouldn't give up... but for some it probably takes a few times... for me it took many years... years and years... and 'years' of bad things... non-stop... my life is this constant literal "hell" it is hell because... it is bad things happening over and over agani... with NO END no peace nothing positive.. and only horror... im lucky if I have a 'decent' day or moment... I "never" have a good day... sometimes I have good moments but they're not really 'good' they are very temporary.. and its still stressful and suffering.. b/c I have no one to do things with or people are generally treating me negatively during those things... or its with some lame 'guy' who is trying ot get laid.. and using me... my situation is the definition of 'hell' and most people don't understand because I doubt they have been through that amount for 'bad'... or maybe people have but I really doubt it... I have heard of other people's lives... the lives I want because it won't happen for me... I can't meet a guy... I have tried for 12 years and I'm a gorgeous nice woman... sure people might be 'intimidated' but something weird is happening here... something that's just not normal in my opinion or its just hard to meet people these days... I don't expect 'bad' to happen.. well let me rephrase that-- I do now because of 11 years of only 'horror' happening t ome... literally... I have story upon story of ridiculous bad crazy things happening to me... and even after all that I STILL go into situations highly optimistic... yet, I keep getting taught a lesson and screwed over... then you're put in fear of even doing things because of all the bad that happens that is way beyond your control... thats how 'evil' or satan works, to put you in this fear so then you can't move forward and live in a fear based mode.. but I can't help being I nfear... im highly justified after what I've had to go through and 'continue' to go through... everyone or most try to have power over me are abusive to me... its eternal suffering... its unfair and ridiculous... the worst part is when I go into anything OPTIMSTIC I am floored.. and I go through trauma and just horrendous situations... peopl ealso seem to think its fun to pick on a 'pretty girl' treat her like dirt... im surprised this is the consensus of months tpeople I encounter... they seem to want to gang up on me and treat me badly, snicker behidn my back, laugh in my face, ignore me... anything that I smean... rude evil... why... I have no clue but if everyone does that to you... no one can live like that.. its a sad shame its happening to ME as I have so much positive to give but if people are making fun of me and putting me down... its difficult to be yourself.u can't be anything except on the defense.. and why again are they doing this to me... I have no clue... but for people claiming... oh you're pessimistic your ethis or that... uh no... im optimistic but also observant of what I've had to go through for 12 years now... as a witness it happen over and OVER again its just like a bad nightmare... u see it happening.. u know its going to happen... yet you can't stop it... I don't have the tools to be able to defend myself against negative people, situations... and in the end I 'ALWAYS" lose...ive never had a situation literally where ive won or good has happened to me...never...my only 'boyfriend' was a sociopath who used me to torture refused sex with me.. (huh)? wouldnt do anything with me be with me sleep in bed with me-- he treated me lower than a puppet that he could just sadistically degrade on a phone...his abuse was abhorrent....the things i experienced with him ive never heard of....yet he was obsessed with controlling me...manipulating...the thing si thnk i go through are very exrteme by people who insist they are in love with me, will praise how 'hot' i am...the guy woh refused to have sex with me ever, talked about how i was the 'love of his life' i was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.... no...this is unreal...how can such a beautiful woman only be abused harassed persecuted in this way...by 'everyone' almost or so many people... not be able to get a boyfriend....suffer in this way, meet only men who want to control/torment and use her in very cruel ways...not even use her sexually....ive been told that people try to get ur attention becaus eu are 'pretty' yet these are strangers who do to me ...b/c im pretty i get abused terribly by people everywhere....yet ive esen other pretty girls-- it doesnt happen to them ....but to me...of coures it 'WILL" happen because I'm cursed on another level... the things I've experienced I think are just ridiculous crazy insane and make no sense they have NOTHING to d owith my perception on anything... its even cruel to blame a victim for the things they are going through but leave it pu to 'humans' to do that... blame innocent people for the abuses done t othem... what happens to me is NOT my fault and worse... I can't help that so many evil bad peopl ewant to control me... and abuse me but I need to know how to get away because... it seems even if I can manage to get away---from what I've experienced... there is another r'hell' waiting there for me to have t osuffer through... you can say... no no... be positive but if this is all you have experienced for 12 years... why would you believe it would be any different... perception does not create reality... or belief... not in every situation... unfortunately... that is a farce...

And also.. my situation is suc hthat... the more positive I am, the worse the bad things happen to me... it puts you in fear of even being positive becaues when you aer... 'something' out there.. the universe, your fate, God, demons.. something wants to not allow you to be positive and have a great experience because when you are positive, only bad happens to you... I also take back my statement about perception because there could be things happening subconsciously... or becaues of the pattern of 12 years of terror... and bad... that has now turned into a non-stop unstoppable vicious cycle... that is now a force of its own creating all this bad.. but I don't truly believe this was just a cycle... I think 'negative forces' are at work... and they might create the 'bad experiences' that then create more... and perpetuate this cycle... its confusing as to what it is exactly... but it 'is there'... whatever it is... I've been told 'karmic forces' do this... have been told in past lives you did 'bad things to people' so now you are paying for it now... I don't really believe in that, though it sounds logical if it was true, regardless, there is something occurring that is way beyond your control or understanding, and no matter how hard you try to change it.. you can't... you try and try... maybe you don't try 'everything' but you try whatever you aer capable of... its this eternal 'chaos'... and you can't get out of it... and the worst part is-- mor and more extremely negative cruel and even 'evil' satanic type people come into your lives to do extreme damage to you... my ex bf- sociopath... wanted to try to 'pimp me out' make me do porn... anything evil possible yet I'm a virgin and he refused to have sex with me... it was crazy and he wouldn't be in my presence... but his goal was to literally destroy me mentally and in any way possible... he was excessively cruel abusive and sadistic.. and I couldn't get him out of my life... my family or others... will do cruel things to you-- u are constantly fighting, being attacked, suffering... having to dodge, this bad thing, that bad thing... you are never in peace, you go through trauma over and over again, having to suffer the abuse of psychopathic and narcissistic people who are so complex and disturbed... and yet you are simple... and a quiet nice normal person but horrible things are happening to you... u are optimistic, friendly, yet... u go into a given situation and something terrible happens to you, you get treated badly, people or someone does crazy things to you... and you leave traumatized, confused... so that the next situation.. u are still optimitsic, but more bad happens... and this happens for many years... but you don't give up and still try to live life normally.. but its really hard... maybe people feel like this on 'some' level and sometimes or go through 'bad times'... but from what I've seen it isn't at this level where it is this constant hell/suffering that is uncontrollable non-stop like a train that just won't stop and more things get caught up in this whirlwind of chaos... and more negative evil people get involved... and do the most extreme things... it is not normal, it isn't even abnormal its tsomething that is so difficult to be a part of and worse... the inability to get out of it... no matter how hard you try... the moment you try.. dont worry---somethign will come along to floor distract traumatize you so to stop you from being able to pick yourself up from the hell... then you have to go through more hell and then what? Well you know whts going to happen next...

I don't think you are going to find help on a website.
Your problems are extreme and I think a psychosis or two are ruining your life .

You would be better off if you found a professional that you could talk to face to face.

I felt a lot like you do and it was a psychologist that helped me.

I can only say you should try it.

to update my situation now... to explain the level of horror that happens to me.. I have No friends and no one to turn to--anyone I try to turn to turns away from me and abuses me... again I don't know why... im very pretty and it makes no sense.. I see millions of beautifu women... they get dates, boyfriends, husbands.. im not just eternally single... but my 'ex boyfriend' this sociopath crazy jerk... refused to have sex with me ever.. my family has me trapped with them while they are 'renovating my house' and I can't return until I fulfill a list of lame 'conditions' they've given me now which involves having to take 'psychiatric medication daily' while I'm at my place.. absurd... they've upped my rent made me pay for more things too... they intimidate and threaten me daily... I have no one whose house I can stay at because people treat a 'beautiful' nice girl like a monster... I also see 100's of women who aer beautiful/nice.. they seem to have no problem getting a boyfriend... my ex claims that I don't act like a 'girl' and need to manipulate people and he in fact only responds to manipulation... if I'm nice normal sweet I get pounced on by 'everyone' who seems to literally hate and despise me I guess for being beautiful... I have no clue... most people I encounter just have 'issues' with me... for no reason.. b/c again I'm pretty? They give me mean looks act like I'm stupid, put me down, tell me they can't hear me, try to use me.. try to make me look stupid or weird... someone I talked to said... in the older days, it was the good looking people making fun of the bad, these days its reversed... I was like you're right? Everyone just picks on me and I never understood why... and I'm really pretty? Men just try to use me for 'sex and to bail'.. why I can't get a boyfriend... everyone just wants to 'ues u for a one night stand' then never talk to you again.. can't meet a nice normal guy... just psychopaths.. other guys I've met literally want to do cruel and sadistic things to me... even scary things... like ***... the renovations at my house are going to be another week my mother claims because they got the wrong 'tile' yeah right... my ex boyfriend sociopath.. was offering his place for me to stay if I did 'porn'... then he askedme to come over... but while he is professing his undying love for me (despite the fact that in 3 years he never had sex with me and I'm a virgin) he has his 'next door neighbor over' who is a guy who I think he is not only having sex with but buying stuff for the guy... in 3 yrs he never bought me anything... had sex with me... and just used me lower than a doormat.. never let me stay at his place or the night.. and just kicked me out after 2-3 hours and that is the only 'semi' boyfriend I've ever had? I can't get how a gorgeous sweet nice down to earth girl can't meet any guy or make any friends? Honestly it makes no sense... my ex sp boyfriend is now claiming my parents are putting medication in my food and drugging me... though he's probably bsing me... or messing with me, I did suspect that a few times since being at my parents I can't seem to leave can't wake up... feel really out there and not myself... and being here has been hell... and my mother doesn't want me to leave... I even asked her... hey your not going to try to prolong the renovations? She said I was crazy for thinking that... and now they are prolonged... I have no one to talk to except random weirdos from the internet who aer really mean jerks and some trying to get sex off me... or treat u in a disrespectful way... it just sucks that its this way... im totally alone, my family is literally doing the worst things to me and my life and very cruel... and yet I'm sorry but I am a really beautiful woman who is intelligent, funny, nice and find it odd that I've been single 31 years of my life... and th eonly guy who was interested in me was the most deranged sociopath who I think has sex with his neighbor, cat, my cats.. anyone except me and used me just to sadistically mentally torture... and sexually reject... ive never heard of a woman in this situation... every woman is used as a sex object... yet a super hot beautiful sexually appealing woman i.e. me, being used as an object by a sex addict just to torment... and not for sex... this is really crazy... not normal... and why people like me are truly cursed on another level...

Oh yes my mother is also getting medication refills for reasons I have no clue of... yet I'm not taking any medications... when I asked her why she said she had already paid for it--that made no sense.. this is why my ex claims my parents are possibly putting things in my food... not sure if its true or not but considering the situation anything is possible... I tried getting help from my cousin and her husband and they of course took my mother's side... and one was being almost dominating and abusive on th ephone and acting strange... then I was blamed for not 'going to a radiology appt' and it made me look bad.. which made no sense.. no one in my family seems normal yet they are all doctors and professionals... they take the side of my mother no matter what she does.. even when she left my cats in high temperatures while I was in another state... I have no one who is not only on my side but who can mediate or be neutral... if my family decides to baker act me... then I'm screwed but worse I'm stuck at their house... and don't have the money to get a long term hotel... they also have forged checks in my name and deposited them in another account and I have no access to it... getting help isn't easy because when your cursed or bad luck in this way... u can't get help no one helps you... everyone turns away from you... the world is also full of seemingly really bad people who want to do bad to others... I haven't met a single helpful person just peopl ewho seem t obe glad you're suffering... im not sure why people are like this but it sucks... im royally screwed and there's no chance for me except getting away from my family once this is done and maybe even restraining orders...