I'm male, 19, I'm clever enough and intuitive, but for my whole life I've had trouble learning in any imaginable way. You name it: studying (a real torture for me), lerning how to play a guitar, how to do street on bmx(stunts), how to socialize, how to act around girls etc. I just don't seem to be able to finish any of my beginnings, it just gets so dull and onerous when it comes to the point of an actual mind effort, let alone persistence. And I'm also very bad at learning from my own mistakes. How can I overcome this? Does anybody have the similar problem at such intensity?

You must have done something right in the learning department kid, you spell well, write well and can compose a sentence properly. Most important, you don't use text speak on here which is an absolutely nono.

We all learn differently. Some learn just by osmosis. Did you ever hear of learning tapes that people put under their pillow at night, so they could ingest it while they were sleeping. That is a form of learning. If you can't learn how to play a guitar, then you are not inclined that way. You have to find the way you are inclined, you haven't done that yet.

Tick

Often it has to do with learning to have to do harder work, I see it often in young people ( and others) once something gets hard, they want to stop and move on to something else, instead of putting the work and time into it.

Did you have a guitar teacher ?

And not everyone has the skill, balance and abiltiy to do trick bikes

I know what I'm inclined to and music is one of it. With things I am already good at, there's no problem. I'm talking about absolute repugnance towards working, taking effort, being persistent. Like a complete absence of motivation if an immediate positive result is not presented. Mabye that's caused by inability to think ahead, maybe smth else - just trying to figure that out. Heard about sleep tape learning being total useless nonsense.

Fr_Chuck That's what I'm talking about! (my comp is deadly slow so I missed your answer while typing) The problem is I have had that flaw since I can remember and in my case iit's HUGE. It's a kind of my main weakness and it affects rather everything in my life. I've just never learned how to go beyond this. In fact I've never been there yet. Any practical tips on how to expand my concience in this direction?

Are you sure it's a problem with learning, and not just a focus or attention problem? You do say you have a hard time finishing anything because it gets really dull. What if it's Adult ADD? (jumping to fast conclusions sorry!) and it's not a horrible thing it's totally manageable!
I run out of energy for my projects all the time, I start paintings and leave them half done. I think I have about 10 paintings all sitting around calling my name. I've tried teaching myself guitar or anything but I just can't read and learn or understand those notes, it's another language to me. I can sing sweetly but do I know what note I'm singing? Haha nope!
Same with math, another language to me and I can't seem to get it that well (except word problems).
Skateboarding I tried to learn tricks too, and I just couldn't, I had a better success with playing tony hawks !
It's true though you seem to know how to type & spell things so others can understand you... Our brains are no longer sponges just ready to form and soak up the knowledge ): What talents or hobbies or skills do you have now that you can improve on? Stick with those, if you like them. Or just keep searching for something you enjoy, and can really get a grasp on how to do it or understand it!

I tt. heard about sleep tape learning being total useless nonsense.

Not entirely true, it is learning by osmosis and many people would swear by it, so I guess it worked for them. They knew upon waking, or in a matter of hours, that the process had worked for them. I don't know what you have heard, but you are 19, I am 68, so I guess you haven't heard enough yet.

Tick

Not entirely true, it is learning by osmosis and many people would swear by it, so I guess it worked for them. They knew upon waking, or in a matter of hours, that the process had worked for them. I dont know what you have heard, but you are 19, I am 68, so I guess you havent heard enough yet.

tick
I'm almost your age, tick, and have worked in libraries for 30 years. We've checked out language tapes/CDs and "Baby Einstein" audio stuff to patrons who want themselves or their infants to learn while sleeping. We have never heard that it worked and have concluded it's a bunch of hooey.

I'm almost your age, tick, and have worked in libraries for 30 years. We've checked out language tapes/CDs and "Baby Einstein" audio stuff to patrons who want themselves or their infants to learn while sleeping. We have never heard that it worked and have concluded it's a bunch of hooey.

Thanks for your vote of confidence. There are many ways to shoot down a post, this is one of them. I would never debunk another expert's opinion as being a 'bunch of hooey'.

This is your opinion, unfortunately, I have mine although I can't prove my claim but have heard positive feedback over the years that this is one way of learning and maybe, who knows, for some it worked.
Tick

Thanks for your vote of confidence. There are many ways to shoot down a post, this is one of them. I would never debunk another expert's opinion as being a 'bunch of hooey'.

This is your opinion, unfortunately, I have mine although I can't prove my claim but have heard positive feedback over the years that this is one way of learning and maybe, who knows, for some it worked.
tick
This isn't just my opinion and I wasn't shooting you down, but simply letting readers know that librarians have observed and taken note over the years if this sort of thing works. We have anecdotal evidence that it doesn't. The "hooey" isn't your opinion, but the idea that this can work. And you niggled at the poster because of his age, so I piped up.

I am glad you caught me on the 'niggling' and piped up. I don't mind pointing out that there is a huge difference in knowledge between a l9 year old and a 68 year old. I am rather proud of what I have learned and retained over the years.

Tick

I am glad you caught me on the 'niggling' and piped up. I dont mind pointing out that there is a huge difference in knowledge between a l9 year old and a 68 year old. I am rather proud of what I have learned and retained over the years.

tick
I totally agree with the difference in knowledge thing.

I just did a Google search for any immediate evidence that people can learn while they sleep. So far, the only ones who say yes are the ones selling language, etc. courses on tape or CD. I haven't found support for it. I can do a FirstSearch (professional education and scientific journals) search or WorldCat (books) search, if you like.

Sure go ahead, sounds good.

Tick

It's true though you seem to know how to type & spell things so others can understand you... wow, sounds quite unsure)) do I sound that slow? English isn't my native and I've never communicated in it like this on line before so that's not an issue I'm just a noobie at it. Speaking goes much more naturally:)


You do say you have a hard time finishing anything because it gets really dull. What if it's Adult ADD? (jumping to fast conclusions sorry!) and it's not a horrible thing it's totally manageable!
I run out of energy for my projects all the time, I start paintings and leave them half done.
Are there other ways your add shows itself? What's it like? And also how is it managed?

No I wasn't unsure, I meant you type very well, you aren't slow so you have been able to learn that! There are a lot of websites out there about ADD but take a look http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

wow, sounds quite unsure)) do i sound that slow? english isn't my native and i've never communicated in it like this on line before so that's not an issue I'm just a noobie at it. speaking goes much more naturally:)


are there other ways your add shows itself? what's it like? and also how is it managed?

Here is ALL the information Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. It will answer all of your questions, basically managed with meds.

If you can't access the link, enter Add the search.

Tick

I know the information on add I've read about it. I just kind of wanted to hear of smb's personal experience. They don't quite cover that...

To me, it sounds like you don't have a problem, you just believe that you do.

I was like you in that I couldn't' see anything to the end, I still struggle with this from time to time, but I can manage it.

I realized my problem was that I was either doing things I never wanted to do, I was setting unrealistic goals, I wasn't in the right environment, and--this was the most profound discover to me--I was hanging around people who either discouraged me or bored me. My own family is boring, I can't be around them for very long. This is why since I was 13 I'd leave the house and rage with my buddies, because they actually interested me. But, my entire family (immediate and extended) and high school staff thought I had a "serious attention/drinking problem and am risking my future", and yet, here I am, a college graduate making a good salary. Anyway, that's the kind of BS I had to deal with. It did bring me down and killed my motivation and that's why I was how you are now.

I needed a lifestyle change, and when I went to college, I finally got it. And when I did get it, I somehow became very focused on all things that interested me. My work ethic went from zero to astronomical.

If you're like me, you're just not finding the right motivators, it takes time to discover these, I'm still finding mine. You don't have ADD which, I believe, is a completely bogus disorder anyway.

Yeah actually a lot in common. The family thing too. But what exactly do you mean by right motivators? What were these for you?

yeah actually alot in common. the family thing too. but what exactly do you mean by right motivators? what were theese for you?
Self-motivation only happens because you believe in yourself, and right now, you're struggling with that. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything. You've heard it before but seriously man, it's the truth.

Here's my story: I left home at 18 for college, but I came back for six months because I transferred schools and needed a place to stay for the interim. I left again just before my 20th birthday and rented my own apartment--I split it with a high school friend of mine--until 24. By living on my own, I could finally do what I wanted to do, I could leave my laundry anywhere and my roommate wouldn't touch it or complain like my mom would, I could keep beer in the fridge, but most of all, I proved to myself I can handle I can feed myself, make new friends in an unfamiliar environment, handle my own expenses.. . Basically I can handle my own life without anyone's assistance. For the first time in my life I felt like my own man and this is when I began to truly believe in myself, and when that happened, I suddenly became very focused and motivated (even with school work, and I hate school!), and I had never been this way before in my entire life. I started reading, I started working out, I started dating a girl that I would later regret (lol). And after that, I graduated with a 3.27 GPA--I graduated high school with 2.00-- I landed a good job and recently bought my own property. So, I continue to prove to myself that I can do better than the previous year.

Anyway, my ultimate motivator was my own independence. The first moments when I'm on my own were pretty tough, but once you get beyond that everything seems to fall into place then you can work out the details. So if your living at home still, you should most definitely explore options on moving out and do your best to stay out, it will change you for sure.

. You don't have ADD which, I believe, is a completely bogus disorder anyway.


I tend to agree with you, but only that ADULT ADD is probably misdiagnosed in adults because it is an easy conclusion to reach without delving too deeply into the person's personality. And when asked specific questions regarding childhood, that diagnosis is reached because the person mentions a slight learning disability, which was probably never a 'disability' in the first place.

Poster's problems can be overcome with particular discipline, and as you say, as soon as an interest and a direction is developed, then everything falls into place.

Ti ck

OK. But there are a lot of people out there who see clearly why they need for example to study. And they do that and succeed. And I could never get myself studying and even if I did, the result turned out to be not enough. That's cause of plain lack of effort, I suppose. So how do I realize the importance of education (for example) before I face the dreadful consequences of not studying in the future life? I mean how to get smarter without getting hit on the head by life? If I just don't seem to understand that enough to act. Need advice

how do I realize the importance of education (for example) before I face the dreadful consequences of not studying in the future life?
Obviously, you DO realize the importance of education. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here on this site asking questions.

Now, what do you do to avoid "not studying"?

That's the whole point, I don't. Just remotely hypothetically I do. But not enough apparently to get me goin'. And I do nothing to aviod not studying, I just do other things, not studying.

I hereby give you permission to study. In fact, I ORDER you to study and begin to make something of yourself.

I hereby give you permission to study. In fact, I ORDER you to study and begin to make something of yourself.

Yes, and I tickle, give you disspensation. Go forth and study and may you win the never ending battle of wondering how to. Hereintofor you shall be smart as a whip from studying everything thou shalt get your vicious little hands on.

Tick

Hey! I've figured stuff out! Not without the help of you guys, thanks for your anwers everybody :)

hey! I've figured stuff out! not without the help of yall guys, thanks for your anwers everybody :)
We will expect a daily progress report.