We have been married for almost 2 years in Dec. We've been together for over 4 years, most of that time he was incarcerated. He was released a few months ago, and since then things have been tough on both of us, learning to live together. After a month and half we got in to a terrible argument and it ended with me throwing him out. He was on house arrest at the time and had to call his case worker about finding another place to stay.. Then things got worse from there we both did some terrible things to hurt each other, not physical hurt, but emotional hurt.. We've been separated for almost 3 months now and it seems as I'm losing him a little more everyday.. When he first left, we fought like cats and dogs, then he started to come around and have sex with me then he'd not talk to me for a few days.. He's will call me all week long and talk as if he wants to get back together, then the weekend comes and not a word from him.. He says we need to take it slow and become friends again, which I'm good with, except he doesn't come around unless its for sex, then he leaves right after.. He's also deleted me from his Facebook and covered the tattoo of my name that he had on his ring finger. He's living with a friend that I have no clue where and most of friends and family thinks he's not talking to me... I don't know what to do? I've apologized numerous times and I've even begged him to give our marriage a chance, He has told my son that getting back together is not out of the question, but he said he is a proud man and people are watching and it will take time.. He also makes a point to mention that he hasn't been with anyone else since we've been apart and that he has had many chances.. I've even asked him if he wanted a divorce or if he is divorcing me and he say no.. I don't know what else I can do, I'm tried of him treating me this way, but I'm also afraid to lose him...
Please help me!! I'm totally devastated and I love him very much... He's all I think about and my life is falling apart worrying if he'll ever come back!!

How long have you actually spent with this man when he wasn't in prison? And why are you blaming yourself? It sounds like you are the (willing) victim.

Please stick around here, and others will come online to give their ideas and help. No one wants you to be miserable.

Maybe give us some backstory. How did you meet him, and what caused you to fall for him? How old are the two of you? Any more you can think of that will help us help you figure this out?

I met him when I was 14 and he was 18. He was my first love and I have loved him every since... He's 46 and I'm 42... We dated a couple of times throughout the years, but nothing like this. We never lived together, until he was released from prison. While he was there I supported him financial and emotionally.. I did everything I could to make his life easier.. I blame myself cause I started the fight and I got so angry that I threw him out. He said he never planned on leaving, but I gave him no choice. So I get why he angry, but to almost delete me from his life except divorcing me hurts...

You need to move on with your life. Do you really believe he hast been with anyone else. Come on, this man hasn't been out very long. He is so use to you doing everything for him except wiping him that he needs a woman just to make it. He is nothing more then a dependent!
You need to finally get yourself a real man. One who understands that there is give and take in a real relationship. One who doesn't mind going out and getting a JOB to help support the people he says he loves! Don't short change yourself with this kind of relationship, you deserve more.

Love has lead you down a very rough road, with a very troubled and dysfunctional person. Get your divorce and get back to being healthy enough to have a healthy relationship, with a healthy, capable solid person.

You made your mistake, and now its time to learn from it, and do better for yourself.

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My husband and I have been separated for over 5 months now. We haven't talked in over a month. He going around telling all his friends and family that he in the process of divorcing me and the he'll never get back with me. But so far no divorce papers have been served to me. I still love him and am 3 months pregnant, I don't want this marriage to end, but a lot has gone on and he blames he for everything. Plus he making sure to hook up with anyone that will take him. I know I could file too, but I don't want a divorce. I want to give it another shot... just confused about if you say you can't stand me and never want to be with me again then why not server the tie we have with a divorce and start with a clean slate.. Does it mean maybe he still loves me and just angry or just being lazy and that piece of paper doesn't mean anything to him??

Sorry for rambling on and on... I'm just very emotional and not sure what to do...

If he left your marital house with you three months pregnant... and making it worse by spreading rumours, then he doesn't deserve very much consideration, broke.

Why sit around wondering why he hasn't filed papers; call his bluff and you file the papers, then if you really want him back, you won't have to wait very long, but I don't see why you want to bother.

Tick

More of the story: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/not-sure-if-husband-wants-save-our-marriage-520015.html

You need to see a lawyer and end the confusion. At 42, you need to take care of yourself and start planning for the future of this child. Don't let love blind you to reality.

You hadn't even been living together for two months after he got out of prison when you kicked him out five months ago. He has been footloose and fancy free since then and using your emotions against you to get what he wants. He kept coming back for sex and nothing else and you let him because... why? Hope? Love?

Is the fact that this might be enforceable a reason for him NOT to start divorce proceedings?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/can-get-spousal-support-523054.html#post2591368

We've been married for almost 2 years but been together over 4 years. I supported him while he was in prison for at least a couple of years. I have receipts and he even signed a couples agreement that if we split within 3 years of his release he'd have to pay me $5000 a year for every year I supported him, the only thing it's not notarized. Do I have any chance of recouping what I put into him????

He is a user--period. You are the one who keeps trying to convience yourself that he isn't, that he has more to offer.

Sorry, but he isn't the problem, you are!! You are a grown woman expecting a baby, its time to stop making excuses for this poor excuse of a man. He will never change, he will never really want to be with other then for what he can use you for. He has proven this over and over again, it is now time to ACCEPT this.

You need to move on, get your life together, your child should be priority, not HIM!!