Nerdy_Nika
Oct 24, 2010, 03:19 PM
I work for a very large multi-national corporation. We have an office romance policy - relationships are fine, but the two individuals can't work in the same department.
I'm employed as an individual technical contributor in the engineering department. The manager of the safety department has begun to show a lot of interest in me.
Our workplace is big on mentoring and there aren't many women in technical roles, so I didn't think much of it when this manager invited me to attend networking events after hours. Other times groups of us would get together to watch sporting events - the big rivalry games especially.
In the last few weeks this manager has been focusing more attention on me specifically. There have been a few invitations to after hours events (mostly watching the Yankees games at local watering holes). I assumed that the invite was extended to others, but that seems unlikely since it turned out to be just the two of us out.
He began to share a bit about his personal life - the marriage that fell apart, the children that are nearly grown, how lonely he he is.
This is a great guy, and many of my friends are men, some are even male coworkers, but this seems like a mine field to me.
During the last game get together the manager was a bit too affectionate - touching my arm, rubbing my shoulders, complementing my hair and nail polish. Then he leaned in and kissed me.
He immediately looked bashful and told me "I really like you. You know, I think you hang the moon." I assume looked a bit like a slack jawed fool - that's how I felt. Perhaps I was naïve, but there's a 20 year age difference between us, so it never crossed my mind that anything beyond a professional and possibly friendly relationship would ever be on his mind.
This isn't in violation of company policy, and all his flirting is taking place outside of work hours, and this manager is not in a position to promote or demote/fire me, but he is in a position of power in my company, and our departments work together on a fairly regular basis. I feel like I'm just along for the ride at this point. I didn't catch on early enough to put a stop to it while I still had some power.
What is my best step from here?
I'm employed as an individual technical contributor in the engineering department. The manager of the safety department has begun to show a lot of interest in me.
Our workplace is big on mentoring and there aren't many women in technical roles, so I didn't think much of it when this manager invited me to attend networking events after hours. Other times groups of us would get together to watch sporting events - the big rivalry games especially.
In the last few weeks this manager has been focusing more attention on me specifically. There have been a few invitations to after hours events (mostly watching the Yankees games at local watering holes). I assumed that the invite was extended to others, but that seems unlikely since it turned out to be just the two of us out.
He began to share a bit about his personal life - the marriage that fell apart, the children that are nearly grown, how lonely he he is.
This is a great guy, and many of my friends are men, some are even male coworkers, but this seems like a mine field to me.
During the last game get together the manager was a bit too affectionate - touching my arm, rubbing my shoulders, complementing my hair and nail polish. Then he leaned in and kissed me.
He immediately looked bashful and told me "I really like you. You know, I think you hang the moon." I assume looked a bit like a slack jawed fool - that's how I felt. Perhaps I was naïve, but there's a 20 year age difference between us, so it never crossed my mind that anything beyond a professional and possibly friendly relationship would ever be on his mind.
This isn't in violation of company policy, and all his flirting is taking place outside of work hours, and this manager is not in a position to promote or demote/fire me, but he is in a position of power in my company, and our departments work together on a fairly regular basis. I feel like I'm just along for the ride at this point. I didn't catch on early enough to put a stop to it while I still had some power.
What is my best step from here?