timez82
Oct 23, 2010, 11:07 PM
Hi,
I have posted in this forum about this girl on many occasions because of my trust issues with her - my gut was constantlly calling out alarms on a daily basis.
I have been trying to get past them but they never went away - I just learned to live with them because many people have said your prob wrong etc and I thought so too cos she used to be so nice to me and I thought I'm going to screw this up over nothing.
anyway turns out they wernt wrong at all...
some background...
we were together a year and one month until earlier tonight I dumped her.
(this is going to be a VERY long post by the way so be warned lol)
my trust issues came from this...
1) very early on in the relationship a guy added me and told me she had been saying she would **** him even though she had a boyfriend - and showed me the log - I had no idea if this was before or after we got together so I left it - but it did set up doubt from this point forwards - looking back I should have backed out here or the next thing but I didnt)
2) about 3 months into our relationship cos of my lack of trust and my gut feeling I snooped on her emails and found out she had sent her ex boyfriend a very bad pic of her cleavege - and lied about it until I showed her the proof I had (yeah I shudnt have snooped but I just knew something was up and I had to know one way or the other - I wanted her to be innocent but she wasnt)
she was full of sorrys and promised never to make such a mistake again (because she wudnt risk her relationship)
she cut contact with him for a long time after this and all was well...
but they started getting in contact again recientlly and so it all flared up again - although I didn't tell her - I said I was OK with it and I was to a certain extent cos he did seem different
but then the gut feeling came back and I sensed something wasn't right - esp since she has another ex who I never had a problem with but I got a bit worred because the day he split with his girlfriend she went really distant with me and it was just mad timing...
so I snooped again - and this time I couldn't beleve what I was seeing...
I'm going to show you in a minute - but before I do some things she has said...
1) that they really are just friends and he would never try anything with her
2) she just doesn't see him that way any more.
this is not the case as you will now see - my comments will be in (brakets)...
(she has also been telling me her distance was due to tiredness and I had started to beleve that)
also when me and him are on msn at the same time - she will say 2 words to me then go chat to him for ages - I thought OK cool if he's just a friend that's what friends do sometimes u just chat about everything)
OK here is the main parts of the logs - this is just from about a week... and all I have...
she is clearly not over this guy and likes him at the expense of what we (had) she told me she just wants her best friend back and I understood that - stupid lol cos she told me herself she keeps asking to see him...
this is in chronoligacal order but I have left any 'normal chat' out
it gets worse as it goes on...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOG FROM: 13th oct 2010 - 17th oct 2010
HER: week off next week ;)
(why the wink?)
HIM: Im tired
HER: aww
hehe bedtime?
:P
remember? (remember our bedtimes?)
HIM: night then
HER: oh your going? :( (she never puts sad face when I go anymore and she used to all the time)
HIM: yeah tired hun
HER: oh OK
night then I spose x
HIM: back and forth
to and fro
HER: erm
naughty
HIM: gosh
yes
very
HER: bit of willy jazz
hahahaaa
HER: u still sexin her?
HIM: yeah of course
they're good to bury face into
HIM: or you know... shagging
HER: yeah I don't rele want to know ta
bloimey
tmi! (why ask then it obv made her jealous)
HIM: but they're not all that
HER: I prefer mine personally (draws attention to her boobs)
------ she changes her name here to: p.s I'm still not over u lalala lala (with music notes around it)--------
HER: your silly
my tongue hurts
HIM: why?
you got it peirced?
HER: YEH
ages ago
HIM: so you know...
does it?
HER: so you know what
yeah
HIM: yeah what?
HER: u know
HIM: I wouldn't know
u will have to demonstrate
HER: yeah (*****! Lol)
HIM: ?
you're still not over me? Oh no
HER: its not about you
HIM: ''ooh it's just a song I like''
HER: I just rele like the song
HER: not EVERYTHINGS about u lol ;)
:P
HIM: but that is
we'll never be over each other
HER: excuse me?
HIM: you heard
HER: haa u make us sound like ross and rachel
HIM: yeah similar
HER: gay face (in a friendly way - she also has this same pet name for me)
HIM: we should be you know... FBs
HER: no lol
HIM: *pokes willy in bum*
:O
hahaha
HER: ruuude
***changes her name to: because when I'm with him I'm thinking of you, thinking of you, what you would do if you were the one spendin the night (with music notes) not even half an hr later ***
HER: (with music notes) u spin my head right round when u goo down
HIM: hehe u thinking of me when you're with him
HER: not everything applies to u
HIM: it clearly does
HER: how did u work that one out?
HIM: obvious
HER: wats it to u anyway (pissed off cos she knows he don't want her really)
*** has changed his/her status to Appear Offline *** (think I was talking to her at the time and she said she has to go)
**** he sends a pic of himself here without being asked ****
HER: I miss henry huggles (cuddles) (wow!)
***************this is where it gets bad*****************
HER: I'm so tiired
HIM: well you get some sleep then baby
HER: I won't sleep yet though
my minds still live and kicking
HIM: what you think about baby?
HER: you
HIM: what bit?
HER: all the bits
HIM: well don't
we're just mates now (he had to tell her? How bad is that)
HER: haha :P
annd your a lesbian
HIM: bed time
HER: okies :(
HIM: hehe you mean if I was spending the night (about her name)
HER: and? (means and what else?)
HIM: hehe
HER: *sigh* (cos he didn't say and sex - or cos he can't be there)
HIM: often its about me
HER: not often
HIM: u put butter on your boobs, I lick it off
HER: :O henry!
HIM: hehe
HER: shocking
HIM: naughty
HER: massive willy
HIM: huge
9 inches
HER: henry!
goodness
its as big as a wind turbine
HIM: yea
HER: :)
good stuff
HER: hahaahaha he likes it on all fours
HIM: rude
HER: its good
do you remember the last time?
----- some normal crap... ---------
HER: so when you coming to see me?
HIM: Prob when I get my new bike
HER: you have like a 100 bikes haha
HIM: their not suitable - I haven't got a big bike atm
HER: for your sizable willy?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so yeah as u can see I am NOT happy
I woudld never have talked to any girl like this while I was with her - esp an ex - and esp since she saw how much it nearly destroyed me last time
anyway though soon as I read this all feelings for her instantlly vanished into thin air - all I have now is anger and disbelif
I do have some questions though...
I text her straight after saying "its over"
then again saying these...
(these are prob a bit AFC but I wasn't thinking right)
"and henry's dead" (the guy lol)
"after everything ive done for you how could you"
then I tried to call her for ages and ages I'm not sure if she was just aslep and couldn't hear it or just wasn't answering anyway I then text...
"im not gonna shout at you i just wanna talk"
then LOADS more of call trying - no way is she not hearing it now she obv just isn't answering
"answer the phone"
I wasn't calling to get back with her though - I just wanted an explanation
I still do really...
must have tried calling her literlly 50 times and then just stopped and isn't text or called since (its only the same day tho)
basiclly I want to know what u think - I'm justified dumping her right? Lol
also I still want this explanation - I was going to just go turn up at her house tomorrow armed with my proof and make her face me for what she has done - I think she is getting off way too lightly otherwise
also I owe her mum money and her mum gave me a free brand new bike today - her mum has been nothing but nice to me so I still want to pay her back - after all it isn't her who has done anything wrong
I was going to go there Monday if I don't turn up tomorrow to go give her mum the money and 100% blank my ex even if she tries to talk to me.
this might all seem petty but she hasn't just done wrong but REALLY wrong esp to make me tortue myself all this time thinking it was all in my head - and nearly left me many times cos I "accused her when she wasnt doing anything" - she doesn't deserve to just get away with it
so what do you all think of it all and what I want to do about it? I am not even considering getting back with her - she had a chance after before and blew it big time - and I could never trust her again now.
she is going to try all sorts of excuses like it was just in a joking way etc etc - but if that was the case why lie? And it don't seem very joky to me - its clear she wants him
lol sorry this was a book but there was a lot to say
thank you if you have got this far and let me know - thanks for replying - oh and by the way I'm not even hurting (yet) just got so much anger in me - but id never do anything physical to anyone - even though I know I said he's dead.
thank you again
Timez
I have posted in this forum about this girl on many occasions because of my trust issues with her - my gut was constantlly calling out alarms on a daily basis.
I have been trying to get past them but they never went away - I just learned to live with them because many people have said your prob wrong etc and I thought so too cos she used to be so nice to me and I thought I'm going to screw this up over nothing.
anyway turns out they wernt wrong at all...
some background...
we were together a year and one month until earlier tonight I dumped her.
(this is going to be a VERY long post by the way so be warned lol)
my trust issues came from this...
1) very early on in the relationship a guy added me and told me she had been saying she would **** him even though she had a boyfriend - and showed me the log - I had no idea if this was before or after we got together so I left it - but it did set up doubt from this point forwards - looking back I should have backed out here or the next thing but I didnt)
2) about 3 months into our relationship cos of my lack of trust and my gut feeling I snooped on her emails and found out she had sent her ex boyfriend a very bad pic of her cleavege - and lied about it until I showed her the proof I had (yeah I shudnt have snooped but I just knew something was up and I had to know one way or the other - I wanted her to be innocent but she wasnt)
she was full of sorrys and promised never to make such a mistake again (because she wudnt risk her relationship)
she cut contact with him for a long time after this and all was well...
but they started getting in contact again recientlly and so it all flared up again - although I didn't tell her - I said I was OK with it and I was to a certain extent cos he did seem different
but then the gut feeling came back and I sensed something wasn't right - esp since she has another ex who I never had a problem with but I got a bit worred because the day he split with his girlfriend she went really distant with me and it was just mad timing...
so I snooped again - and this time I couldn't beleve what I was seeing...
I'm going to show you in a minute - but before I do some things she has said...
1) that they really are just friends and he would never try anything with her
2) she just doesn't see him that way any more.
this is not the case as you will now see - my comments will be in (brakets)...
(she has also been telling me her distance was due to tiredness and I had started to beleve that)
also when me and him are on msn at the same time - she will say 2 words to me then go chat to him for ages - I thought OK cool if he's just a friend that's what friends do sometimes u just chat about everything)
OK here is the main parts of the logs - this is just from about a week... and all I have...
she is clearly not over this guy and likes him at the expense of what we (had) she told me she just wants her best friend back and I understood that - stupid lol cos she told me herself she keeps asking to see him...
this is in chronoligacal order but I have left any 'normal chat' out
it gets worse as it goes on...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOG FROM: 13th oct 2010 - 17th oct 2010
HER: week off next week ;)
(why the wink?)
HIM: Im tired
HER: aww
hehe bedtime?
:P
remember? (remember our bedtimes?)
HIM: night then
HER: oh your going? :( (she never puts sad face when I go anymore and she used to all the time)
HIM: yeah tired hun
HER: oh OK
night then I spose x
HIM: back and forth
to and fro
HER: erm
naughty
HIM: gosh
yes
very
HER: bit of willy jazz
hahahaaa
HER: u still sexin her?
HIM: yeah of course
they're good to bury face into
HIM: or you know... shagging
HER: yeah I don't rele want to know ta
bloimey
tmi! (why ask then it obv made her jealous)
HIM: but they're not all that
HER: I prefer mine personally (draws attention to her boobs)
------ she changes her name here to: p.s I'm still not over u lalala lala (with music notes around it)--------
HER: your silly
my tongue hurts
HIM: why?
you got it peirced?
HER: YEH
ages ago
HIM: so you know...
does it?
HER: so you know what
yeah
HIM: yeah what?
HER: u know
HIM: I wouldn't know
u will have to demonstrate
HER: yeah (*****! Lol)
HIM: ?
you're still not over me? Oh no
HER: its not about you
HIM: ''ooh it's just a song I like''
HER: I just rele like the song
HER: not EVERYTHINGS about u lol ;)
:P
HIM: but that is
we'll never be over each other
HER: excuse me?
HIM: you heard
HER: haa u make us sound like ross and rachel
HIM: yeah similar
HER: gay face (in a friendly way - she also has this same pet name for me)
HIM: we should be you know... FBs
HER: no lol
HIM: *pokes willy in bum*
:O
hahaha
HER: ruuude
***changes her name to: because when I'm with him I'm thinking of you, thinking of you, what you would do if you were the one spendin the night (with music notes) not even half an hr later ***
HER: (with music notes) u spin my head right round when u goo down
HIM: hehe u thinking of me when you're with him
HER: not everything applies to u
HIM: it clearly does
HER: how did u work that one out?
HIM: obvious
HER: wats it to u anyway (pissed off cos she knows he don't want her really)
*** has changed his/her status to Appear Offline *** (think I was talking to her at the time and she said she has to go)
**** he sends a pic of himself here without being asked ****
HER: I miss henry huggles (cuddles) (wow!)
***************this is where it gets bad*****************
HER: I'm so tiired
HIM: well you get some sleep then baby
HER: I won't sleep yet though
my minds still live and kicking
HIM: what you think about baby?
HER: you
HIM: what bit?
HER: all the bits
HIM: well don't
we're just mates now (he had to tell her? How bad is that)
HER: haha :P
annd your a lesbian
HIM: bed time
HER: okies :(
HIM: hehe you mean if I was spending the night (about her name)
HER: and? (means and what else?)
HIM: hehe
HER: *sigh* (cos he didn't say and sex - or cos he can't be there)
HIM: often its about me
HER: not often
HIM: u put butter on your boobs, I lick it off
HER: :O henry!
HIM: hehe
HER: shocking
HIM: naughty
HER: massive willy
HIM: huge
9 inches
HER: henry!
goodness
its as big as a wind turbine
HIM: yea
HER: :)
good stuff
HER: hahaahaha he likes it on all fours
HIM: rude
HER: its good
do you remember the last time?
----- some normal crap... ---------
HER: so when you coming to see me?
HIM: Prob when I get my new bike
HER: you have like a 100 bikes haha
HIM: their not suitable - I haven't got a big bike atm
HER: for your sizable willy?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so yeah as u can see I am NOT happy
I woudld never have talked to any girl like this while I was with her - esp an ex - and esp since she saw how much it nearly destroyed me last time
anyway though soon as I read this all feelings for her instantlly vanished into thin air - all I have now is anger and disbelif
I do have some questions though...
I text her straight after saying "its over"
then again saying these...
(these are prob a bit AFC but I wasn't thinking right)
"and henry's dead" (the guy lol)
"after everything ive done for you how could you"
then I tried to call her for ages and ages I'm not sure if she was just aslep and couldn't hear it or just wasn't answering anyway I then text...
"im not gonna shout at you i just wanna talk"
then LOADS more of call trying - no way is she not hearing it now she obv just isn't answering
"answer the phone"
I wasn't calling to get back with her though - I just wanted an explanation
I still do really...
must have tried calling her literlly 50 times and then just stopped and isn't text or called since (its only the same day tho)
basiclly I want to know what u think - I'm justified dumping her right? Lol
also I still want this explanation - I was going to just go turn up at her house tomorrow armed with my proof and make her face me for what she has done - I think she is getting off way too lightly otherwise
also I owe her mum money and her mum gave me a free brand new bike today - her mum has been nothing but nice to me so I still want to pay her back - after all it isn't her who has done anything wrong
I was going to go there Monday if I don't turn up tomorrow to go give her mum the money and 100% blank my ex even if she tries to talk to me.
this might all seem petty but she hasn't just done wrong but REALLY wrong esp to make me tortue myself all this time thinking it was all in my head - and nearly left me many times cos I "accused her when she wasnt doing anything" - she doesn't deserve to just get away with it
so what do you all think of it all and what I want to do about it? I am not even considering getting back with her - she had a chance after before and blew it big time - and I could never trust her again now.
she is going to try all sorts of excuses like it was just in a joking way etc etc - but if that was the case why lie? And it don't seem very joky to me - its clear she wants him
lol sorry this was a book but there was a lot to say
thank you if you have got this far and let me know - thanks for replying - oh and by the way I'm not even hurting (yet) just got so much anger in me - but id never do anything physical to anyone - even though I know I said he's dead.
thank you again
Timez