Is this a new feeling on her part, or has it always been this way?

Why do you think she hates you? (We need some help here, so please give details.)

I believe she has disliked me for 20years maybe... I try to be nice and complementary... the kids enjoy me. They are 10 and 6. I just don't know what I do... She left me and went to live with her father when she was 19 maybe? Took some classes when she went to live with him and his wife. I feel may be her husband who is severely rude to me along with my daughter.. who invited me to their home and abused me. They know I am health person, We had Mc Donalds two nights in which I got up set. They we went to a mexican restaurant. She knows I do not like. They had remarks, whisper to each other. They 6 year old picks up on what they did to me and copied it. I got up set and left. I know I hurt my grand children...
Thanks for listening.
Elaine65

I'm with you in eating habits and in wanting to get along.

BUT.

You know how she is, so it would probably help if you tamp down your instincts to be upset with their food choices, for instance. Yes, you're going to have to give in and give up a bit, if you want to get along. She may even be setting you up and baiting you with some of the things she does, because she knows you will get mad or react in a negative way. Then she can have some fun. So don't play her game.

What can you do differently to get along better? (Unfortunately, YOU are going to have to be the bigger person in this situation.)

I have already done it... I left very upset and she and my son in law did set me up... I fell right in. What I am thinking is I am all done with her. I will stay out of her life. She and my son in law are mean to me, and they donot like me. In fact I think she hates me... So I think it is best to write her off. Let her live her life. She blames me for the divorce. I think maybe her step mom is a social worker and reputation for not being nice. I think my daughter like it and is being like that. Lies, deciet, manulipation... I do not know or want to deal with that. I work better if we can have a conversation... That has not happened... I do feel very mean... but I am beside myself and feel it is too late I should have done something years ago.

Thanks
Elaine65

It seems like there is a huge gap in your story. What was your relationship like with her growing up? Seems like you both have high expectations and there is a lot of water under the bridge. PLease be real and honest- why do you think your daughter feels negativity towards you?

I am not saying it is your fault, but if you want a relationship to work, you need to start with you and your responsibilities.