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View Full Version : Child support vs. Trust fund


monimrl
Oct 23, 2010, 11:43 AM
Can an unmarried father be forced to pay child support in CA, even if he has relinquished parental rights? If not, can the mother refuse to agree to his release of those rights unless he at least sets up a trust fund for the child from which only a predetermined amount could be withdrawn each month as support? If he does this, will he then have the right to visitation if he has a change of heart down the road?

justcurious55
Oct 23, 2010, 11:59 AM
Yes, you can still be ordered to pay child support even if you have relinquished your rights. There is a sticky at the top of he forum that can tell you more about child support and giving up your parental rights.
As for the other questions, I'm not sure, so you'll have to wait for some of the other users.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 23, 2010, 12:10 PM
First almost never does the judge in family court allow a father to give up his rights, ( except to allow step parent adoption)
And in the few rare cases where they do get to give up their rights they will still have to pay child support,

Child support is not a right but a obligation and has no connection to a fathers rights.

ScottGem
Oct 23, 2010, 12:10 PM
A parent CANNOT relinquish their rights. Only a court can terminate parental rights. And courts are very reluctant to do so. Courts also will not grant a TPR just to let a parent out of paying support.

cdad
Oct 23, 2010, 12:50 PM
Child support or not you do have a right to ask the courts for visitation.

monimrl
Oct 23, 2010, 07:46 PM
All information appreciated-thanks

monimrl
Oct 23, 2010, 07:47 PM
Thanks

monimrl
Oct 23, 2010, 07:51 PM
Thanks-I agree that it is an obligation. I didn't know until reding yours and ScottGem's posts that it is not simply an elective thing

monimrl
Oct 23, 2010, 08:33 PM
Thanks I will read it-and likely have more questions

monimrl
Oct 24, 2010, 01:59 AM
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to respond. I read the stickies and learned more things. I am not the baby's father, but her grandmother. He was so angry when my daughter made the decision to keep the child; called her selfish and said he was ordering a hit on her. He was not a boyfriend, but a male friend she saw when he came to town. More episodes and tales to tell, but ultimately what my daughter wants is (1) for him to help provide for the baby (she is a waitress) (2) have at least a minimal relationship with his daughter so she won't start her life knowing rejection, and (3) to work out situations in a civil way.
He has offered to pay $300 mo. For child support and put $100 per month in a trust fund for her college (at daughter's request). He makes approx $8K per month gross. His big thing is "We can write our own contract-NO COURT." The next week he said he wanted to "back out" because his future in-laws would not allow him to marry their daughter if he had a "bastard" child. On the one hand, she will need his financial support for the baby-plus he is obligated. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that no dad at all is better than a bad dad, and that our family will see that they at least have what they need. I can't imagine the baby being put in his car for visitation after the behavior he has shown and spoken. He saw her at 1 month old and thought she was cute, but that was before he decided to "back out" and sign off his rights. I now know he can't do that. Now that you know the situation do you have suggestions?

cdad
Oct 24, 2010, 04:49 AM
Take it to court and let them settle child support and visitation. Tell your daughter to smarten up and stop trying to control the world. She can't force visitation on the father. And the child has a right to be supported by both parents.

1) go to court for DNA and Child Support

2) settle the forms of custody both legal and physical

ScottGem
Oct 24, 2010, 05:58 AM
ultimately what my daughter wants is (1) for him to help provide for the baby (she is a waitress) (2) have at least a minimal relationship with his daughter so she won't start her life knowing rejection, and (3) to work out situations in a civil way.


Unfortunately, what your daughter wants and what is real are not the same. The only thing she can have is (1) and even that may be an issue as many fathers will go to great lengths to avoid paying support. As she has now found out, a private agreement outside of the courts won't work unless the father is responsible. So she needs to go to court and, at least, get the force of law behind the support order.

As for (2) there is no way to force visitation. A visitation order can be established but he can't be forced to adhere to it. But the father isn't rejecting his daughter, He's simply rejecting fatherhood. It has nothing to do with the child.

It would be nice if the whole world remained civil to each other, but the reality is different.

monimrl
Oct 24, 2010, 02:21 PM
ScottGem and califdadof3, thanks for your responses. I found helpful info from both your posts, particularly the insite that he is rejecting fatherhood instead of his daughter-it made a lot of sense. It was helpful to get the 1,2 steps of what to do next from c.dad3. I was a little surprised that you both had the perception that she would want to force visititation-that isn't the case at all. Perhaps if I had worded it that she HOPES there would be at least a minimal relationship, it might have been more clear. Such as this may be a bit Pollyanna, but trying to force visitation would be more of a detriment to that end, and to the baby as well. She has no interest in controlling the world OR the baby's dad, only trying to bring about what she believes to be in the best interest of the baby. Thanks again

ScottGem
Oct 24, 2010, 03:33 PM
Pass along our best wishes to your daughter and keep us posted as to what happens.