rnfly29
Oct 22, 2010, 12:53 PM
I don't have an specific question. Basically, I've been just thinking. I am considered not juts by myself but by others that know me as attractive, respectful, decent woman, I am 29 yrs old. My first boyfriend that was supposed to marry me, cheated on me and also declined the offer. Then I meet a loser who married me, but he not only cheated, he lied, when around with others around my back, mentally abused me... finally I asked for divorce, we were married only five years, I didn't take a penny of his, in fact he kept some of my stuff, he didn't even give me a car, he left at the street, but to me that was way better than continue to live with him... now I am in a new relationship, for about one year and a half. This man treats me very well, I can feel that I truly love him, we have both sacrificed things for each other already, like he got deployed 10 months ago. He shows me his love and everything... but... even thought we have talked about getting married, he says, that's a noble idea, but I guess he is waiting to get home first... who knows.
I have waited and still continue to wait for his proposal... he is just coming back from the war... but I hope maybe he can propose sooner..
I just don't feel like I want to live with someone without being married. Somehow I have lost my identity in the process, I know I am his girlfriend, but for many reasons... I can't help to feel like a nobody when other things come along.
Sometimes I don't know what to do... surely, we will talk about this soon... but I will totally prefer it to be his idea to bring this subject up.
Im still a student... I still have 3 more years before I finish my bachelor in nursing.
I can't stop asking myself, why is this world so mess up?
Everything is so backwards..
When a woman asks a guy to get married, then runs the risk to be ditched forever.
Then if we live together is like our honor is up to the trash.
I love this man, but at the same time God knows if would have a place to go I could just go live on my own.. and with this I don't mean I am with him just because of whatever help I get from him while I go to school, I really love this man and I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him with all that this imply.
Most people I know think that I get hit all the time, because me being atractive having big boobs like size 36D, nice body, etc, etc.. Nice personality.. you name it.. but when it comes to reality, most guys are like afraid of me.. I can have good friendships I just avoid them (specially with guys) because I am always prevented againts who they may just want to be with me for a moment, and I do not play those games...
I have always said, to be in bad company better alone..
My actual boyfriend is a great man... but many days even thought he has expressed that I am great cacth, I wonder if he can't see it. What is he afraid off...
He is divorced too... maybe that would do it...
Oh well, who can understand this world.
I have waited and still continue to wait for his proposal... he is just coming back from the war... but I hope maybe he can propose sooner..
I just don't feel like I want to live with someone without being married. Somehow I have lost my identity in the process, I know I am his girlfriend, but for many reasons... I can't help to feel like a nobody when other things come along.
Sometimes I don't know what to do... surely, we will talk about this soon... but I will totally prefer it to be his idea to bring this subject up.
Im still a student... I still have 3 more years before I finish my bachelor in nursing.
I can't stop asking myself, why is this world so mess up?
Everything is so backwards..
When a woman asks a guy to get married, then runs the risk to be ditched forever.
Then if we live together is like our honor is up to the trash.
I love this man, but at the same time God knows if would have a place to go I could just go live on my own.. and with this I don't mean I am with him just because of whatever help I get from him while I go to school, I really love this man and I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him with all that this imply.
Most people I know think that I get hit all the time, because me being atractive having big boobs like size 36D, nice body, etc, etc.. Nice personality.. you name it.. but when it comes to reality, most guys are like afraid of me.. I can have good friendships I just avoid them (specially with guys) because I am always prevented againts who they may just want to be with me for a moment, and I do not play those games...
I have always said, to be in bad company better alone..
My actual boyfriend is a great man... but many days even thought he has expressed that I am great cacth, I wonder if he can't see it. What is he afraid off...
He is divorced too... maybe that would do it...
Oh well, who can understand this world.