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Klaipeda
Oct 18, 2010, 01:37 PM
Hello, advice is very much appreciated by everyone!!

Hi, we started dating c couple of months ago and only saw each other on the one Saturdays every week. Now for the last two weeks he started to suggest we meet more often: he comes to my workplace, sometimes brings the flowers and we go for a walk. Time passes by and I start to feel hungry or I am hungry straight after I finish my work and I suggest we go and eat. But he always pays. He never suggests we go to eat but he pays most of the time.I sometimes pay to, every his third time of paying,-I pay.
I started feeling a bit awkward,- my daughter ( she is 20 y.o) says,-
'Mum you can be viewed as a gold digger,- you always ask to be taken to coffee's and he always pays. When he will be tired of it he will drop you.. '
What shall I do?

Please advice, thank you very much!

Homegirl 50
Oct 18, 2010, 01:43 PM
He is not always paying if you pay sometimes. But if it bothers you, when you ask to go eat, pay for your own meal.

Britni
Oct 18, 2010, 01:45 PM
It sounds like he wants you to do what he wants. He's not really thinking of u. Start taking charge of your life when you want to go eat then go. And start paying half.

Wondergirl
Oct 18, 2010, 01:49 PM
He sounds very generous. He even brings you flowers sometimes. Offer to pay your share, or be willing to kick in some money. He may agree, but I'm guessing he will say no. Does he have a good job?

slapshot_oi
Oct 18, 2010, 01:50 PM
I agree with HomeGirl, there is a very simple solution to all of this: just pay for your own meals.

Enigma1999
Oct 18, 2010, 01:51 PM
I think he is being a gentleman. That's probably how he was raised.

You could always be honest with him ad tell him that it is very kind that he does that, but that he DOESN'T have to do that all of the time.

I wouldn't think of you as being a gold digger. After all, you have paid before.

Perhaps you could get him flowers or even a nice thinking of you card. Or while he is at work, stop by with coffee or a connoli.

I know that may sound corny, but it would also show your appreciation for him.

I wish
Oct 18, 2010, 03:14 PM
I think that if you offered to pay and even insisted, then you've done your part. The result doesn't matter as much as your intention.

Maybe make an arrangement/compromise with him that you pay every 3 meals or something, so that you don't have to worry about the bill every meal because both of you will know who's paying that occasion.