About a year and a half ago, I met this girl. Right away we connected and became best friends. I knew even at the time she had a boyfriend and knew not to approach her with any sort of "I like yous." I kept my distance and the fact that I was in love with her for nearly a year. One night, however, she came to me and told me that she loves me as well. Time went on and we became closer and closer. The closer we got, the more intimate we became. One day she eventually broke up with her boyfriend and we started the beginnings of what I thought was our relationship together. I thought wrong. The 2 weeks that we had together were perfect. It proved to both of us that given the chance, we would work out perfectly. However, after those two weeks were up, her boyfriend came back and said "I love you, things will be different, take me back." And so she did. They have essentially been dating for almost 2 years now, and we've talked about what would happen if we were together. We both agree that it would be perfect, that we both would have the greatest relationship ever. Only problem is she keeps telling me how happy she is with her boyfriend too. I don't get it, why would she tell me not only that she loves me, but also that she knows we would work out if given the chance if she's still so happy with her current boyfriend? She hasn't brought anything up on the topic for about 2 weeks now, but my question I guess would be do I still have a chance with her? Does she really love me, and will I ever get the chance to date her? Her boyfriend is good to her, the only problem is that he sometimes lies and/or with-holds information from her which she doesn't like at all. Any and all help on this topic would GREATLY be appreciated.

One of my favorite talaniman (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/talaniman.html) rules is this one (because it saves time and energy) :

Talaniman Rule- Stay away from any one that has an ex involved in their lives.

She took him back, too bad for her. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you -and only you- instead of holding on to something that will probably end up breaking your heart.

There's always two (or more) sides in relationships so if she is just feeling guilty and trying to convince herself she could make it work with her boyfriend (which I doubt, since she is giving you "hints" about how happy she is with him) give her time to get him out of her life for good before jumping into a relationship.
Take your time, enjoy your own life. Good luck!

How do we know her feelings? She could be just using you to vent about any little thing that bothers her about him; doesn't mean she prefers you. Could be you never proclaimed your undying love enough to win her and just waited for her to do all the 'I like yous, I love yous.' Could be she is torn and just goes with whoever insists the most. Could be she likes playing 2 men against each other to see who will fight over her the most. Could be she needs a boy toy friend soul mate to fall back on (you), and well as a lover.

Why are you asking total strangers 'does she love me?' That right there is an indication that you have a passive streak, you just wait. YOU need to TELL HER your feelings and say you can't take a platonic relationship anymore. Even if it means losing her. She might go to him and decide later she wants you. She might not. Accept that you tried either way.

She has a boyfriend she cheated on, broke up with and went back to.
If she loved you, she would be with you. Going to someone else right after you leave one relationship never works any way.
Leave her alone. You two don't need to be talking to each other at all. This girl wants her cake and eat it too and if she cheats on him, what makes you think she would not do the same to you.
Use your head, your upper one.

You make the same mistake that many of us make when we get carried away by our own intense feelings, and ignore our own good common sense, even in the face of facts to the contrary.

You have allowed yourself to be used by a manipulative confused selfish female who likes the power to attract and use poor dumb guys who are easily fooled by her words and ignore her actions. They simply don't match, and she is cheating on you both.

See how easy it is to fall for a lying cheater? The big red flag is that you still have hope of a relationship and will fall for whatever she says, because you stand for NOTHING, not even YOURSELF.

My question to you is, why are you allowing yourself to be used for the purpose of another???

This is not love, or caring, but one human being using another, and one human being that allows it. That's UNACCEPTABLE!

You are not confused! You just don't want to face the facts that you are being used, and the solution to this whole mess, is to cut her permanently from your life!

She says this , she says that , doesn't matter what she says , her actions state that she wants to stay with her BF.

Don't get sucked into a battle you can't win.

When we work all year then take two weeks off we call it a "vacation". Well that's all you were to her. A "vacation" from her boyfriend.

First of all you really sound kind of obsessed with her. I mean it's easy to figure out why she keeps you hanging, she will go to you if and when she and her boyfriend breakup again. She knows you will be waiting like a faithful dog.. But why in the world would you want to feel like you are just a fill in until her real love comes back. You could never trust her, so wouldn't it be better to find a girl that puts you first?

Does she love you? Maybe , but she's not IN love with you. If she was she would be with you, not her boyfriend.

Do you have a chance? Sure, you always have a chance with a girl who uses men for her own selfish reasons.

Do you want this girl if her boyfriend dumps her again? You wouldn't if you were smart, unfortunately we all act really really dumb sometimes when we are blinded by love..

Do you really want this for yourself there are lots of nice people and you met one move on and finde another or she will do the same to you when you're her boy friend just drama . Lots of people connect and they are singal when your in a relation ship your not looking for another you should have respect for yourself and the other person and say bye. Sharon

All of you are right, thank you very much for all of your input. Simply cutting off the relationship isn't going to really be an option seeing as how her and I are esentially best friends. We talk pretty much every day (through txt) and at some point during the evening hours we talk for at least an hour. Lol simply cutting that off would seem kind of... abrupt. And I've tried cutting it off in the past, for about 2 days I simply didn't talk to her and on the third day I finally answerd her call. She was extremley worried, so I chose not to do that again. What I think the best course of action (and PLEEEASE offer any and all critisizem here, I actually welcome it) is to wait it out. What's been happening the past 2 times we've gotten together is that we wouldn't talk very much at first (which is the stage I'm at now,) then we would start seeing each other (hanging out together) and start talking more and more. The more that happened the closer we got, and well you all know the rest of the story. Its happened twice before, something tells me it'll happen again lol. Any and all critical ideas are very much welcome.

She has a boyfriend and has no business talking to you. She is playing you both.
Do you really want someone like this?

You are playing a dangerous game.

You made up your mind that you're going to wait for her to come around. So there is nothing more that any of us can say that will make a bit of difference to you. So you do what you think is best for you. I really hope it works out for you, you sound like a real nice guy. Hopefully you will give us an update in the next few weeks.

Its happened twice before, something tells me it'll happen again lol.
I agree a third time is a cinch, and with the same results.

Just to give everyone here a bit of closure... here's what ended up happening...
As predicted, it did happen a third time, and as talaniman said... with the same results. As of now, she has plans of getting married to him in a year and a half. Her boyfriend is now limiting how much we can see each other, (we can't hang out unless he's there with us, she can't text while she's with him), and its just going to get worse as time goes on. It seems now that not only have I lost a potential girlfriend, but I'm slowly but surely losing my best friend too. :/ I'm not happy about how things are going, but as long as he's in the picture, there's nothing I can do about it now. Just thought I'd let everyone know what ended up happening.

I'm presently in the same boat and very depressed about it!