I am going to retire in a few years, I want to dissolve this so called marriage. I sent papers to his brothers home years ago but he refused to sign them. Now I can no longer find his brother. Can I get a divorce without him being contacted?

Once he refused to sign why not go back to court and ask for a default judgment?

From this site:
North Carolina Divorce Forms and North Carolina Divorce Laws Online (http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states/nc/northcarolina.htm)
The residency requirement is 6 months. There are only two grounds for divorce in North Carolina: one-year separation and incurable insanity. For a one-year separation you must assert, under oath, that you and your spouse have lived separate and apart for one year. You must live in separate residences during that year. You do not need to file any papers to document the beginning of your separation; your assertion is sufficient to prove that the year has elapsed. The second ground for divorce in North Carolina is incurable insanity. This ground is rarely used.

So, all you need to do is go to court and assert that you have been living apart for 18 yrs and the judge will grant a divorce.