Hey,
Been pretty rough the past few days figured I'd just cast a line out and see if there are any perspectives I haven't thought of. Anyhow, my girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. I proposed during the summer, initial yes, subsequent rethinking then a lets wait. After that she said she wasn't attracted to me as much as she used to be. Later, she said she kind of liked someone else but don't worry about it. After that we entered into a long distance relationship due to school. Went all right for a month or so, but I think my paranoia drove her off (reasonable to be paranoid?). Recently she visited, but still no sparks I guess. Even more recently she told me she wants a break (unspecified time) to decide if she wants to be with me.

Its all pretty brutal on my heart. I don't really want to talk to anyone about it because everyone I know is a mutual friend, and so here I am.

I am trying to treat the break as a break up. Preparing for what I feel is the inevitable, if she is trying to decide whether she wants to be with me, then there doesn't seem to be the conviction needed to continue a long distance relationship. She said she loves me; has said in the past that we were soul-mates.

She was my first love, the one I'm head over heels for and would do anything for. Unfortunately, love isn't a mirror, and what you give isn't always what you get.

Thanks to anyone who replies,
Fml

Hi lavaburn, I would say please DO talk to mutual friends. There are no requirements to take sides; there is no right or wrong. Friends are what get you through unrequited love. She probably cares about you deeply and doesn't want to lose the soul mate kind of love, but is falling out of romantic/exclusive type of love, not toying with you (although she should try to decide more clearly to stop dragging out the grief to you). As for paranoia, I think that means jealousy, suspicions about what she is doing with who else? Try to be honest about it bothering you so that it doesn't eat at you, but do it gently and not in a possessive or accusative or demanding way. Just say you want to clear the air and get it all out in the open so that you know where you stand. If you can do that with her, then you just have to accept whatever it is. School, long distance - very, very seldom do such arrangements work for long. But she may want you back in a year or 2, so try to fill your life and wait.

I think when a woman asks for a break then your best bet is to consider it a permanent breakup.

I don't believe there should be any breaks in love. If my husband were to get to a point where he felt he needed to take a break from me then it'd be a pretty safe bet that he no longer valued the relationship.

When you're with the right person they don't want breaks at all. They'll sit down with you and work through the problems.

You need to move on without her.

Both really good answers... I'd say move on as well. Aside from that. If you want to try to push your luck. Get your mutual friends to ask her her feelings towards you. Why is she losing attraction to you? Are you putting on a lot of weight? Are you becoming less involved romantically with her? Have you sent her flowers or taken her out to eat lately? How many times a day do you tell her she is beautiful? These are all things that women need to feel special. If you're show them they mean the world to you.

You will generally mean the world to them. You had love at one point. If she still loves you then it could possibly be worked on. Not from other schools though. Long distance relationships don't work. If you were desperate you could go to her school but the chances of things still working out are slim. Like Devorameira said... when a woman asks for a break up it's most likely permanent. When a girl feels strongly enough to push you out of their life. There isn't much you can do to work your way back in. The only thing I could see that would get you back in her life is time.
Good luck with whatever you do.

If you haven't built a solid foundation in the last 7 years, maybe its time to see what other options you have with what could be the second love of your life. You seem to content to keep things in a comfort zone and let her control the pace of her choosing, and define the path you take, and that's the problem. Get some facts, and lead by example. Make a decision, and stick by it, and stop roaming aimlessly in the desert.