An ex-boyfriend purchased items (ie: TV, computer, etc.) for my children's and my house during our 9 month relationship (we were not common law). The relationship ended over 2 years ago, and he moved overseas to work. A few days ago, he emailed me saying he was back in Canada and would like to come get "his stuff". I've not responded to his emails yet because on top of thinking he's out of his mind, I also know that he can be abusive.
Does anyone know if he has legal rights to the remaining items? He gave them as "gifts", I have the receipts, but they were purchased on his credit card at the time.

No... this is where that possession is 9/10ths of the law come in. If he gave it to your children as a gift. There is no taking them back. If he wants to fight you over them you have 2 options... Go to court and win or break them in front of his face so nobody has them. :)

... or break them infront of his face so nobody has them. :)

And if the court believes his side of the story: that he never said he was giving them to you, judgment will be awarded against you for the repacement value of his things.

Coolaide, we try to give correct, reasonable and appropriate answers here, and your response is not that.

Well since she has the receipts I doubt he will have the billing statement on his card still. If he does she can have somebody testify they have been in her house for 2 years therefore awarding her the items. I try to provide answers from details she put into the statement. Of course I was joking about the breaking the items in front of him. In all I think I was being very reasonable. If you don't think so maybe you're practicing law in the wrong state?

Well since she has the receipts I doubt he will have the billing statement on his card still. If he does she can have somebody testify they have been in her house for 2 years therefore awarding her the items. I try to provide answers from details she put into the statement. Of course I was joking about the breaking the items in front of him. In all I think I was being very reasonable. If you don't think so maybe you're practicing law in the wrong state?

Fortunately you have explained that you were joking before she followed your advice. The "judgment of Solomon (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+kings%203:16-3:28&version=NIV)" is not to be taken literally. In this case it may well have resulted in his getting a restraining order issued against her.

It appears to me that your latest post contains at least three non sequiturs:

"Well since she has the receipts I doubt he will have the billing statement" -whether he has the statement or not, she will testify that he paid for them. There appears to be no potential dispute that he bought the stuff.
"they have been in her house for 2 years therefore awarding her the items" - how do you come to this conclusion?
"If [I] don't think [you're] being reasonable maybe [I'm] practicing law in the wrong state? (sic)" - So where I should do business depends upon my opinion of you? I don't think so.

Well since she has the receipts I doubt he will have the billing statement on his card still. If he does she can have somebody testify they have been in her house for 2 years therefore awarding her the items. I try to provide answers from details she put into the statement. Of course I was joking about the breaking the items in front of him. In all I think I was being very reasonable. If you don't think so maybe you're practicing law in the wrong state?


This is the legal board. If you can't give legal advice, please don't give legal advice at all.

Otherwise your comments are way out of line and disrespectful (to say the least).

We don't "try to provide answers" here. We DO provide answers.

I gave answers. One was right the other one was joking. This is the internet you have no backing showing that any of your legal advice is correct either. The legal system will do what it is going to do even if you give your advice or your "answers" you're not the person who asked the questions legal attorney so therefore she may or may not take your advice anyway. Plus you have to take into consideration that you may not have the whole story. You have what the person "over the internet was asking". I was being polite and giving her my opinion. This is a legal board but like I said it's the internet there is no telling who you're going to get responding on them. I happen to come across this questions in the random questions to answer and thought I might try and help.

To AK Lawyer
1. There may be no dispute whether he bought the items or not it doesn't matter if he gave them as gifts.
2. This is where I said possession is 9/10s of the law. Like I said before if they were gifts than she is allowed to keep them. If she was asked why should be allowed to keep them it is because this guy moved out of her house 2 years ago which in turn she didn't know if she would ever see him again. You can't get a engagement ring back from a fiancé because it was given as a gift.
3.You opinion of me doesn't have anything to do with this subject which is fine. If you took my joke in the wrong way that is fine as well. Any person in their right mind wouldn't do what I was joking about in the first place. That's why that made it funny. If you have no soul and didn't laugh about it then that's fine. That gives me my opinion about you. :) Good luck in your practices.
4. If it's a real legal board and you're trying to offer some real legal advice to make it real especially for being a legal board "on the internet" where things can be faked and false. Then maybe you could provide some documentation of what you speak of to prove your statement plausible. Other than facts this is just another "internet forum".

One more thing came to mind. If you say he is abusive. Why can't you just get a restraining order on him where he can't contact you. And the items in questions are they going to be worth the amount it is going to cost him to get a lawyer and to take you to court? I'd say not worry about the courts and him taking back the items as much as I'd worry about the fact he is abusive and you don't want him anywhere near you or your family and you don't want any contact with him. If it were me I'd just not respond to his emails for future protection of yourself and your family. :)

.... If she was asked why should be allowed to keep them it is because this guy moved out of her house 2 years ago which in turn she didn't know if she would ever see him again. ...

The OP said that "The relationship ended over 2 years ago, and he moved overseas to work." This is where it gets mirky. She may be telling us that the relationship ended and then he went away. But he may very well be of the opinion that the relationship ended after he went overseas. For all we know, he would testify that, until shortly before he sent the e-mail, he had always intended to come back to a happy home the moment his job is over.

So if you are suggesting that he abandoned the stuff two years ago, I submit that we don't really know that.


... Why can't you just get a restraining order on him where he can't contact you. [?] ...

Assuming that they do things in Canada roughly the way they do them in the U.S. (Yes, I know that's an iffy assumption.), you have to allege a present fear of violence. The OP has not alleged any present threat.

Let him take you to court if he wishes to have the items returned. Otherwise they should be yours to keep (or your children's to keep). Change your email address and phone number so he can't contact you in any way other than the mail system.

And no, getting restraining orders, if done properly, are not free either so that should not even be entertained by you just to "keep him away". He would still have access to the Courts to file a lawsuit against you for the return of the gifts.

I gave answers. One was right the other one was joking. This is the internet you have no backing showing that any of your legal advice is correct either. The legal system will do what it is going to do even if you give your advice or your "answers" you're not the person who asked the questions legal attorney so therefore she may or may not take your advice anyways. Plus you have to take into consideration that you may not have the whole story. You have what the person "over the internet was asking". I was being polite and giving her my opinion. This is a legal board but like I said it's the internet there is no telling who you're going to get responding on them. I happen to come across this questions in the random questions to answer and thought I might try and help.


Which was the right answer? I can't find it.

I know I'm not the OP's "legal attorney" (strange use of words). I believe my signature line makes that clear.

I'm not a mind reader nor is anyone on the Board. "We" (apparently not you) answer what is posted. We don't read details into the story or add details to the story or make it up as we go along. That's policy.

And you are right - you never can tell who is asking, who is answering, who is right, who is wrong, who can spell and punctuate and read the rules and who cannot.

This is not a chat board. Please keep your advice on a legal track.

I am going through something similar. I have been struggling with the decision to keep the flat screen (which I have his reciept) or give it back... I also have a restraining order on him... any ideas?

... any ideas?

Yes. Start your own thread please.

Well aren't you sweet AK lawyer... you really show your motive

Sarcasm will get you nowhere.

My motive is to help you with your problem while avoid reading several pages of someone else's problem.