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View Full Version : Seems to me like a girl is playing me, so to speak.


ninjajr92
Oct 9, 2010, 11:25 AM
Hello everyone, I apologize for not being on this site lately. Lifes been life with college and what not. But any who I know I can always come to you guys for help because my last situation was eased because of all of the advice given from you guys. And I apologize for this long story, but please give me your input once again. Thank you so much. :)

Story: I met this girl about a month and a half ago, I started talking to her on Facebook because I thought she was attractive and I wanted to get to know her better. We exchanged numbers and I ended up taking her to a nice restaurant after about a week of talking. Everything was going fine from there, we would have coffee together, go for walks, and consistently talking. All of a sudden things start to go downhill, she begins short answering me through texts. Trying to keep our conversations short and always seem busy. Now I'm not stupid and I knew something was going on, most likely another guy. She finally returns my phone call and we agree to meet up to talk at the park. But the weird thing is she sounded like she was crying and later on I found out she was. At the park she starts by being sorry and tells me everything.

There's one guy, the name is Roman. Him and her have always been friends and have talked about dating but never have. And the last time he was here they kissed and hung out but this was before I started talking to her so I didn't think much of it. And this guy lives in Nevada, we live in California. She said she feels tied down to him and feels guilty if she dates someone else... Which I thought was stupid but I didn't comment on it.

Then there's this other guy, his name is Joey. He was her ex and has been toying with her emotions by saying how much he misses her and blah blah blah. The normal things guy do when they realize they messed up. That bothered me but I let her to continue to talk. He lives in New Mexico by the way.

Then she was hanging out with this guy, AJ, who she claims to be nothing but friends and they ended up kissing while we were talking, which is why she was avoiding me. She said she regrets it and what not.

After all this I was upset and wanted to leave, but I didn't. Instead I go over to her and hug her and say "It's okay." Yes ladies and gentleman I forgave her, why? Because I thought it was the right thing to do. I could have been pissed and went off on her, but why do that if it does no good??

After the conversation was over I hugged her and we continued to talk great for a few weeks. We watched movies together, hold hands, laugh about everything, go for more walks and hold hands while walking. Her family loved me so we hung out quite a bit and everything was awesome, until last night.

Last night I decided to talk to her about things and where we were at, etc. Let me note that this is the third time we talked about this kind of stuff. None of my questions got answered because she still doesn't know what she wants and what not. At this point I've lost patients and want to say forget it and move on. But some part of me still says to keep going. To make our long conversation short, she doesn't know whether we are going to date or not. Then we kiss as I leave and I text her the next morning to see if she is getting to bishop okay since she was driving out of town to visit her sister and to get away from things. She calls me while she is driving and states that she wants to take a break, just not talk for a few days to collect her thoughts because she said "I'm not being fair to you nor to myself." I can't decline this proposition because that would be unfair to her. So I agree to break off communication between me and her and now here we are. So my question is, what should I do? I know I need to give her time and what not and I will, but any input would be amazing. Thank you so much for your time and patients and I hope to hear back from all of you guys soon. :)

beachloverjohn
Oct 9, 2010, 01:16 PM
The two of you are "just friends" That's all she wants from you. When you started to push the relationship in another direction, she decided to take a break from you. Why? Because she doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you. That's all it is. So what are you going to do? Well you either accept it or stay away from her. I don't see anything changing. If there was going to be any chemistry between you it would have happened by now. To me it sounds like your hung up on her, so before you get too hurt, find another girl. Somewhere there is the right one for you, but I doubr if this is the one.

talaniman
Oct 9, 2010, 01:39 PM
You sure squeezed a lot into a month and a half, and got so deep really fast.

Too much, too fast, crash and burn.

Leave her alone a learn to slow your stuff down, I mean way down. That's why she is running for the hills now. Can you blame her.

Talaniman Rule-When they ask for a break, give it to them and do your own thing.

Talaniman Rule- When they need space, give it to them, and disappear from their lives. This allows you to heal.

Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.

You were not paying much attention as you were distracted by you own feelings and not listening when she told you,


There's one guy, the name is Roman...

Then there's this other guy, his name is Joey...

Then she was hanging out with this guy, AJ...

Then there was YOU..!

Clearly a conflicted lady who gave you fair warning to back off and slow down.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that's just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Leave her alone!!

beachloverjohn
Oct 9, 2010, 01:49 PM
Here's a Beachlover rule:

If you can't see someone's heart unless you unbutton their top, then she's not ready to give it to you.

ninjajr92
Oct 9, 2010, 03:21 PM
Thank you guys. She seems to not be able to make up her mind and gives me mixed signals. In all honesty, I think I'm done playing these games and am going to move on. Thank you for the support and the opinions!