View Full Version : Boyfriend preventing life choices
dbruno66
Oct 7, 2010, 02:03 PM
I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years up until recently we were inseparable, I practiclly lived with him. However, due to our personality issues since August we have spent time apart. He basically wanted to get back together, and work things out. Meanwhile I needed more time to think if his personality issues were something I could really live with for the rest of my life. Well I just graduated from college in May and had a job waiting for me. I do not make crazy money - but I am on salary make 41k a year being that I am only 22, however I have saved throughout the summer and my parents give me a good amount of money for graduation. I have wanted to buy a new car for the past 2 years, however the convinced me to wait till after college. I finally decided on a car, and my boyfriend basically said if I buy it I am stupid and putting myself into debt for no reason. However, the car is not a lot of money I would be only financing 10k! I feel like he is trying to prevent me from doing things I want to do such as when I told him I wanted to go back to school - we fought for a week because it was a stupid choice. He is ten years older then me so maybe he has seen what I haven't. He is also very wealthy so he does not understand what it is like to finance things etc. Please help! He said if I buy the car it just strengths the idea that our personality differences are very strong.
jmjoseph
Oct 7, 2010, 02:11 PM
I think that you should buy the car. I also think that you should seriously consider who you let give advice to you. I am also in agreement that you need more time away from this guy. Love is not this hard. You shouldn't have to force it, or "trim it to fit". Do you think that his faults will go away, or get worse?
Real love knows. You're away from him for a reason.
Drive carefully.
answerme_tender
Oct 7, 2010, 02:39 PM
I think you already know that you don't want to spend rest of your life with this guy. You may not want to hurt him and maybe you don't want to be alone yet. If you really wanted him, and passionately loved him nothing would be stopping you from being with him. So maybe you need to just listen to your instincts and end this relationship. Its time for you to move on and start enjoying your new job.
If your old enough to finish college and get a NICE paying job, then you old enough to make up your own mind and buy your own dang car without his approval. If he doesn't like the car your buying then tell him put his money were his mouth is and buy you a nicer one, otherwise shuttie it up.
MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 7, 2010, 02:47 PM
Well I think you shoul leave him and finish your education.. and yea buy the car if you think you can pay it...
Fr_Chuck
Oct 7, 2010, 02:51 PM
Well of course I don't believe in buying brand new cars, I prefer to always buy one that is one to two years old, often a rental or lease car because they are taken care of very well. You lose so much money the minute you drive off the lot. But that is just me.
Money is the major issue of couples, and I don't see the words married. If you live together budgets need to be set up so that there is joint bills, and joint money plus also be personal money. Owing 10,000 on a car is not really that much, and really his only care should be if it is a safe car for a person he loves to ride in.
Devorameira
Oct 11, 2010, 08:29 AM
Your boyfriend is a controlling jerk. Seems like you already know that you two may not be able to work out your differences.
You have a job and the money you spend is yours... don't allow him to manipulate you into not getting exactly what you want.
If he doesn't like your financing $10K, then tell him to either pay the $10K for you or shut up.
I think you should seriously reconsider this relationship. He sounds like the type that will try to control your every action and relationship for the long term.