I met this girl in my class at college this semester with an amazing personality. We have A LOT in common. We started studying together because I am good in a subject she needed help in and then we started to study for our class we have together and one thing led to another and she told me she was seeing someone, this was very surprising because we had been flirting back and forth a lot so then I thought there is no way I am going to do this. After she came over one night, we kissed and spent the whole night cuddling. I felt like ****, but, I feel so much for her. Now we text back and forth and we spend about 3-4 nights a week hanging out, and I have no idea what to do. I thought well if she cheated on her boyfriend then why would I want to be with her but we have so much in common and its so easy to talk with her, I have talked with her about ex-girlfriends so yes she would be a great friend but I DO NOT want that. Part of me says walk away now before I get hurt and the other says fight to be with her, but I am torn and could really use some educated advice.I know this is not right of her or me but I feel like we have a true connection and I just don't know what to do. I know everyone will say leave her alone, blah blah blah but unless you have been in this situation PLEASE do not comment.

I was in a similar situation years ago back in high school, and it didn't work out well for me.

Here's how I look at it - even if she does have strong feelings for you, what's going to stop her from doing the same thing to you if you did get together? She must've had feelings for her current boyfriend at some point, but now she's fooling around elsewhere and keeping him on the side. So the bigger question is: is this the kind of girl that you want to have?

Please keep in mind that you are asking for advice on a public board. Trying to limit who responds also limits the advice you are given. If you truly want help, read and pay attention to posts whether you like what they say or not. IF you keep you mind open to hearing thoughts other than what you think you want, you may learn more about yourself and your situation.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you need to leave her alone. Whether she is acting like it or not she is unavailable because she has a boyfriend.

Even if she left him today, she would need time to heal from the relationship and break up and it would be very unfair of her to use you as a crutch. Crutches usually get discarded after the person heals. If you are familiar with the concept of rebound relationships, then you will understand that jumping from one relationship to another without taking time to heal and get rid of the baggage is a classic way they begin.

To be honest, it sounds like this is how she moves from one relationship to the next. Anyone who can behave like she does with you and not feel guilty has practice playing the cheating game. She's lying, cheating, and playing games with your affections to get what she wants. Walk away before you become the next one being cheated on.

Let her live her life and you live yours. It may hurt right now, but not nearly as much as it will if you ever get to the point of believing she is committed to you and does the same thing to you as she is to him.

I have never been in this situation just because it's a dead end street. Its not healthy to form, and act on those kinds of feelings that help her cheat on he boyfriend. Even if she does leave him to be with you, and it's a blast, you will always wonder if you can trust her. Feelings aside do you trust her now? You haven't even thought about it have you, because you are to busy enjoying yourself, and thinking only of the attraction, and what you want from her.

You are letting your feelings overcome your common sense, and it won't hit you until much later that you don't trust her. Now you may try your best, but when she is not there you will wonder, and even ask questions but eventually it will eat away at you, wondering if she is with someone else.

What if she doesn't leave the guy for you? Will you beg, and be devastated, or will you be happy with what she gives you after being with him? A lot to consider here besides the good time your having, with the attention she gives you. So it seems you have a choice to risk being the other guy, just the guy on the side of a cheater, or being the guy who is with the cheater, like her now boyfriend, wonder how he feels right now?

It comes down to what you want for yourself, and whether you can deal with your feelings, or use each other for fun and pleasure, without any one knowing and maintain your life. Many men and women use cheating to find their next romance before leaving who they are with. That's common, so you may well end up with her. Have you asked her? Why don't you find that out, what her intentions are and if she has enough feelings for you to leave the guy. At least you will know where you stand, and if you are being used or not. Then you can decide what to do about it.

No I have never been in that situation, because common sense has already let me know the drama is not worth it when there are other options to have a healthy, happy relationship, built on trust, and not just attraction, lust, and opportunity.

Either you have been seduced and used for her own pleasure, and needs that the boyfriend can't fill, or set up for future use. Chances are you aren't the first guy she has used, just her latest. You really don't know do you?? You do know she IS cheating now with you, so you have enough facts to see your feelings are leading you down a dead end street, and even though its great now, when the lust is gone, so will she be. So where does that leave you??

Lets be fair, you know very little about her at all, what she is like, or what she really wants. But you will find out at the rate your going, and you may see something about yourself also, if you are paying attention. No I have never been in that situation, because I looked before I leaped, and I would not have let a girl with a boyfriend get that close. Even if a female is single, I still had fun getting to know them really well before jumping in head first.

What looks good, and feels good, ain't always good for you. But you will see that for yourself eventually, of that I have NO doubts.

I was in this situation. And what happened after we finally got together I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. Suffice to say, she is not someone that you can ever feel really secure with, so nip it in the bud to avoid future heartbreak.

What she is doing, is testing the waters. She is putting one foot in the lake to see if it's warm enough to go swimming. She flirts, drops hints she's interested, spends a night cuddling with you. What does that say about her character, when you know she already has a boyfriend. What kind or type of woman, would be committed to another, and pursue inappropriate activity with another man.

I would look at this in the cold hard light of day, and realize that her interest in you, is only to see if you are a better prospect, than what she has now. Not to mention that she's not available in the first place.

Should at some point, she decide to leave her boyfriend, and works through the breakup, and at some point down the road, not overnight, or by next class, fully and truly recover from the breakup, then and only then, is she available.

Until that happens, my advice to you is, stop it before anything gets started.

Is there no honour among men anymore to respect another man, and leave his girlfriend alone? (Just a thought, not directly implied to you, just in general).

Why is it so shocking to some people that cheaters are so easy going,they listen,so friendly, act like they care so much, they just aren't treated right by their partner, etc... Why do you think its so easy for people to fall for cheaters, its because they do have these qualities. But bottom line is stop questioning why they are so easy to fall for. The question is why do individuals allow themselves to cross the line of decency and allow themselves to also become cheaters!!

I've been in this type of situation before and wrote up a guide: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/guidlines-what-do-do-if-person-like-already-relationship-463250.html

At the end of the day, it's about whether you're willing to live with the consequences of your actions.

You truly need to find out what her motives are first and then come to a decision. People tend to leap and look instead of the other way around. Ya got to know when to get away and just think to yourself even if I do get this girl will I be able to please her not physically but psychologicly. Physical pleasure is often the wrong way to have a relationship you need to pleasure the brain too. So you got to know what her motives are first