View Full Version : Marrying in a court house
scotusa
Oct 1, 2010, 06:16 AM
Myself and my fiancé are planning on getting married in a court house in Illinois, is it possible for it to be done by a pastor/preacher rather than a judge? We are then going back to the UK to get the blessing from my church.
donf
Oct 1, 2010, 06:34 AM
If you are planning on marrying at the court hose, why would you want a priest or pastor to marry you?
Might I suggest that you ask your priest or pastor to marry you in a private ceremony either in the Church proper or in the Church Office.
You certainly can still seek the Blessing of your UK Church Community.
scotusa
Oct 1, 2010, 06:46 AM
I know it sounds mixed up but getting married in a court house was saving a lot of hassle and money, the hassle coming from the inlaws hehe! The cost of a church on top of everything else was so much and doing it this way was the best option all round. I thought and was hoping that it could be done by a preacher or pastor there as I have heard of others doing this?
donf
Oct 1, 2010, 07:07 AM
ScotUSA,
I am relatively sure it can happen the way you want it to. I am not so sure that a Priest or a Pastor would marry you in a Court House thou. I suspect that it would cost you more for that than getting married in the Priest or Pastor's office.
But I was suggesting an alternative to you.
I am hard pressed to believe that you could not find a Priest or Pastor who would not be willing to marry you right in his office nor for that matter right in the back yard of the Church. The object is to get married in accordance with your faith beliefs, not a judge's. Correct?
I am sure Fr. Chuck can give you better advice than I can, but I do believe it will be the same. If you want a civil Marrige go to the court house. If you want a Church Blessed marriage, ask a Priest or a Pastor.
Take a moment and make an appointment with one and please talk with one. Explain your financial concerns. Let him know that you will be returning to the UK for a more formal ceremony, but you want to be married in the eyes of your Church.
The absolute worst He/She can tell you is no. If it were me, I would than seek another Priest or Pastor.
Also, if you do have to get married civilly, it would still be a recognized as a valid marriage by your Church Community, that would be why the ceremony would be a blessing of the marriage and not a marriage ceremony.
I wish you and your intended well!
smoothy
Oct 1, 2010, 08:07 AM
In some countries... Italy being just one... you actually HAVE to get married in two separate ceremonies if you get married in the Church... AND a separate but required civil ceremony as well at the appropriate officials office. And they are never on the same day. Yeah,seems strange... but I was there and had to do it that way for it to be legal. Never completely understood why, and yeah I did ask. But I understood it to be the Civil one was the legally binding one there, and there was a 5 week waiting period to verify you were in fact not already married before that ceremony after getting the license because apparently a lot of people weren't bothering to actually get divorced before they remarried... at least that was how I understood it.
donf
Oct 1, 2010, 08:29 AM
Smoothy,
Now that is really strange given the Roman Catholic Church's presence.
As you know, here in the U.S. the Catholic Church will recognize a civil marriage but it is not a required step.
Here civil and religious a linked. Weird isn't it.
smoothy
Oct 1, 2010, 09:10 AM
Smoothy,
Now that is really strange given the Roman Catholic Church's presence.
As you know, here in the U.S. the Catholic Church will recognize a civil marriage but it is not a required step.
Here civil and religious a linked. Weird isn't it.
Tell me about it, caught me by surprise too, our Civil Ceremony was actually a week before the Church Ceremony and yeah... in Italy the Civil ceremony has to happen first,. Funny, I had to go to the Bishop for that area of Italy and convince him to allow me to get married in my wife's church back then, (He passed away last week) The priest was willing with the Bishops blessing, (he retired years ago and is still doing well, I ran into him a few years back). She is Catholic... I'm Protestant. A dIfferent priest wouldn't allow me to be a godfather to either of my Nephews for that very same reason... I do spend a fair amount of time there annually...
Got married over there 20 years back.
HUGE difference between the Catholic Church in Italy and the USA surprisingly enough.. (through the eyes of a protestant).and yeah I've been to a number of them in both countries over the last several decades.