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LynnRandy
Sep 28, 2010, 08:39 PM
My dad tries to give me advice on something and if I tell him that at school they told me something different then he gets mad and tells me that he is right. I don't argue with him but I just tell him that I learned something different at school. He makes me feel stupid and I just want to cry. My dad is 63 and I am only 10 years old.

Wondergirl
Sep 28, 2010, 08:53 PM
Do it this way -- just thank him for caring enough to give you the information or advice, smile brightly when you say it, and then do it the way you learned at school. Don't argue with him or make him feel worthless. If you can do this easily and allow people to save face, you will have many friends throughout life.

Catsysue
Sep 29, 2010, 04:52 AM
I, too, was a child of older parents. This is sometimes difficult, I know, but your father loves you. Don't miss this special opportunity to have a special relationship with him. It sounds like you are handling it okay, so try to smile like Wondergirl advises! Good luck.

Jake2008
Sep 29, 2010, 05:58 AM
This may have nothing to do with your father's age, and he is not necessarily wrong in his opinion on something you have been told, or have learned at school.

Part of growing up is being able to accept the opinions of others, and making up your own mind. And that includes the opinions of parents.

If he is telling you that they are teaching you math wrong, or science, or something involving a certain way of doing the work, I would take that with a grain of salt, because obviously, it's been a few years since he's been taught formulas. :)

But if it has to do with history for example, or world events, or social studies, not likely two people would have the same opinion. Best to do as Wondergirl said, and be gracious, and listen, but in your own mind, just agree to disagree.

People can be very passionate about their opinions (read some of the posts here at AMHD!), but if you don't argue or try to explain, the argument won't be fed, and the issue will die a natural death.

mrshodges
Sep 29, 2010, 07:46 AM
I have to agree. My daughter has a somewhat similar issue except she think she is always right. No matter what we tell her she likes to argue. (She lives in her room a lot) The worst thing you can do is argue with your dad, the adult. Now when you say advice are you asking for help or is he just trying to be "helpful"? Saying "that's a good idea" and going on with what you are doing is a good idea if you did not ask for help. If you are having trouble I suggest you ask the school for a tutor. One more thing, what does mom have to say about this?

Wondergirl
Sep 29, 2010, 08:43 AM
And don't forget -- there are sometimes two (or more) ways to learn things. I learned a certain way to do fractions and decimals back in the 1960s. My two sons learned how to get the right answer, but the way they did it was somewhat different from the way I was taught. I was taught to diagram sentences; my sons were not (unfortunately). I was taught how to make an outline for every report we wrote; my sons have no clue how to make an outline. We had a strict kind of handwriting class every day, so we ended up with very nice handwriting; my sons never had handwriting class, and their handwriting is nearly illegible.

I've been a student, a parent, and a teacher. Education methods change from generation to generation. Reading was based on phonics, then it was "see-and-say," then it was "whole language," and I think we're back to phonics again. How my father learned something might be Greek to how my sons learned the same thing.

That's another reason to be gracious to your dad. He very likely learned how to do certain things a different way from how your teacher teaches you. Your children someday will probably roll their eyes if you try to help them with homework.

DoulaLC
Sep 29, 2010, 04:15 PM
I agree with Wondergirl. I teach and sometimes find students will share that their parents showed them a different way of doing something. It is most often in math and, as was said, there may be several ways of obtaining the same answer.

One that comes up frequently is regrouping in math. Years ago it was called "borrowing". That is no longer the term used today however and it can throw some parents off when they are trying to help with homework.

Fr_Chuck
Sep 29, 2010, 04:20 PM
Yes, you are not telling us in what he differers from school, please understand, I home school my son since there are many things that I don't agree with in public school, ( many parents do the same)

If it is issues to history, or political issues, many of these have been subject to review over time.
Next on math, the result is the same, but there is new ways of doing many issues in math.

So he may be right, even if some of the teachings at school say he is wrong.

So first you have to decide if there are issues on some things.
After that if he is wrong, you merely thank you for it. And let it go