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View Full Version : Could I make things work with father of my child? Could I get him back?


lucylou8512
Sep 28, 2010, 05:43 AM
Could I get back with father of my child?
We had a brief fling together which resulted in the birth of a gorgeous little boy!

Gradually got a good friendship through pregnancy and birth going on and due to circumstances he offered for myself and my son to move in with him.
Things were good and we were growing closer but he was always buzy and leaving me with the baby. This got me down along with other things like not working and repetative days so I took all my stressful feeling out on him.

I got another place and me and my son moved in. His father came to visit a lot and we contimued to be a couple. Again I didn't like it when he went away and slightly jealous he had a life and I was left with baby so I was always huffy.
Guess he got tired of that and said he doesn't want to be with me anymore!

He is a great guy from good family, clearly loves his son and when aroubd was happy to help me with him. He makes me laugh, cheers me up, gives great hugs. He is a hard worker and I know he did care about me... I think. Not anymore though!

Anyway our son is 9 months old and sees his dad every weekend... but I fell the last year and half have been life changing and I have given up a lot. I wish I didn't take everything so serious and I had the ability to lighten up and accept things as they are! As now I fell I have ruined my chances at trying to build a relationship with my child's father all because I struggle to cope with things?

Anyone been in same situation? I told him I loved him and that's when he started backing off! I moved things too fast because he even said at one point he has feelings for me. He is a stubborn man and won't change his mind once it is made.

Could I have a 2nd chance?

I have asked him but stupidly I beged and pleaded... got angry! I know that is not right and for past week I have not contacted him and want to continue not to... except arranements for euan I don't mention us.
I just feel so sad especially night time when baby is in bed x
38 minutes ago

joypulv
Sep 28, 2010, 06:09 AM
I suggest finding a life outside of your child and his father, something that interests you so that you don't need to be needy, and THEN maybe something good can happen. An online course, a craft you can sell on eBay, a local mothers group so you can take turns watching each others children and maybe work part time or walk dogs or??
As long as your ex is still alive of course there is a second chance, but what the odds are, no one can possibly tell you. He obviously cares. PRACTICE self restraint. TRY. WAIT without be demanding. The best way to do it is to have that other life, one for you. You can't be happy with him or your child if you feel cooped up and meaningless while he goes out into the world.
I have known men who did return to the mother and child he fathered. And others who didn't. You have a lot of work to do if you want this to happen.

talaniman
Sep 29, 2010, 06:15 PM
You need a life all your own, that makes you happy even if he doesn't see anything besides being a good dad.

KoolAide187
Oct 16, 2010, 02:59 AM
I'd say you need to loosen up a bit. He obviously has feelings for you and wanted to try to work things out with you by letting you move into his house. You're going to have to learn some self restraint from getting angry when he goes out. You have to understand just because you're together he isn't going to want to stop living the life he has been living since you have been gone. He has got to want to change and settle down on his own. The best thing you can do is give it some time and just keep talking to him and possibly lightening up and have a good time and let him see you having a great time. He may only see you as a downer and doesn't want that in his life. Maybe he needs to see you as a part of his life somebody he can make a life with not somebody who is going to drag is down. Ask him to go bowling. Ask your mom to watch your son and y'all go to the club and dance or something. Just go have fun and reconnect with what you had before. If none of those ideas work all you can do is move on. But I agree with the above posts you need to work on your own happiness before anything. And if the only way to make you happy is to be with him then you may need to make some sacrifices to be with him. I hope this helps.