My son has been asking to live with his father for 3 years now. And it just breaks my heart. His father and I split up when he was 6 months old. (We haven't been getting along well since before ifound out I was pregnant) Anyway A month or so after he moved out I ran into an old crush we started hanging out while my son was visiting his dad. I kept my dating life with this guy away from my son and especially his father. I finally felt it was safe to bring my now boyfriend around my son when he was 10 or 11 months. My son just loved him and they got along so well. I saw an instant connection between them I fell in love all over again. Well everything started to fall apart when my son was about 18-20 months. (once his father found out I have been dating someone) I became pregnant with my now bf's child. Well this was awful news to my ex so he starts tell our almost two year old "mommy hates us because she is going to have another baby and a new daddy for it", "mommy doesnt care about you, if she did she would keep us together", "mommys boyfriend is mean", "your mom is mean she doesnt love me", "tell your mom i love her" those are some examples he would tell him and my son became angry towards my boyfriend, then he became more and more angry with me when was was 2.5 My daughter was born and he loves his sister. His father continued bad mouthing me and my boyfriend to my son. From day one I called to tell him he needs to stop being a child and talking this way to a our kid. Anyway it seems he never stopped so my son started acting out making life very -Never tell God how big your storms are.. Tell your storms how big your God is.difficult I always tried including him in everything we do as a family. My son was a really happy baby/toddler up until age 3. (he acted out every now and then with thus situation at 2.5 but it became impossible at 3) He is now 6 and I recently started letting him spend more time with his father because it is bad. Me and my daughters dad are still together that seems to not be an issue with my son anymore. I believe the issue is what his father embedded into his head about me not caring about him. I believe he resents me for not staying with his father and still holds that anger towards me. My son does well when he is with his father but he is my son and I wantto keep both my kids together. They love each other and it shows. The question is how do I get my sons happiness back? I've tried mother/son days, talking to him, reassuring him I love him but nothing is working! I want us to get along and fix whatever his father destroyed. It breaks my heart that my son just wants to live with his father. Would counseling help?

Sorry for that quote in the middle I'm using my phone and makes it impossible to proof read. So excuse the spelling errors. Thanks.

I hope you aren't driving while typing this.

Yes, I'd make an appointment with someone who does family counseling. Have you looked for anyone yet?

Thanks. No, I'm not driving and texting. And I haven't looked into yet but it's been on my mind fir the last couple days.

How can we help?

Sorry if I missed it in your original post, but is there a court order in place at this time?

If not, honestly, this is just my opinion, but I would BAR all contact. Those comments your ex is making are seriously DAMAGING to a child of that age. That's terrible. And I would consider it abusive. If there is a court order in place request to have it revisited and inform the judge and court system what your ex is doing to your son. At the least they can insist he seek counseling. At the most, they can limit his contact temporarily until he stops doing this.


Good luck hon. I know how you feel. My ex husband told my daughter when she was 4, that SHE was the reason that he and I fought all the time. And in her 4 year old mind, she believed him, and for a year thought that all our fighting, and our divorce, and our restraining order, was ALL her fault. :(