Hello, I need help here from men and women. I met him online from about ten months. We liked each other very much, he liked that I am not a play girl, and was really handsome and respectful. He is 37 and I am 32. He was married for 3 years, but got divorced from about 3 years. We live in two different countries.Our relation started as friendship, but he always tried to pu ta touch of romance to it. But as we live in two different countries, it was pretty difficult to build a relation in the air.
After about 6 minths of our friendship, I got a job offer in his country. I met him face to face on my birthday there, we both were so excited about seeing each other, we walked along the beach and had very nice chats, we sat on the rocks, and he looked in my eyes and asked me to kiss me, it was my first kiss ever, and he knew that. He was so passionate and tender with his kiss. He asked me to spend the night with him, but I completely refused.
After 2 days of worry from my side I chatted with him about what happened at that night, we agreed that we are in no way friends, because he never kisses his female friends in that way. He said maybe we are lovers, but he also said that he is not ready for a new relation, that his life is really complicated now. I told him it is better for both of us to stay as friends, and forget about what happened.
After a couple od days, he sent me an sms that he is lonely and bored and that he misses me, he wanted to meet me. We met and had dinner together, it was a funny time, he played one of my favorite songs for him on his guitar (as he is a musician). After that and without my notice he took my hand and put a hot kiss on it. I told him that this is not appropriate that we agreed that we are just friends, but he said we both know we are not, he knew that I had some problems with the job offer I had and that I canceled the contract and was sad for that, so he told me I just need to hug you, but his hug was very tender and tight. Then he started kissing me so passioantely on the neck and on the lips. I was deeply in love with him, but never told him that, and he never told me the word of love till now. After that night, and on the night before I go back to my country, he met me and after our walk on the beach he told me that he misses me much and that he wishes I can stay with him, I told him that he can make stay with him, of course I was hinting on marriage, but he wasn't ready for that yet. He knows that I am virsin and for me no sex before marriage.
We kissed deeply and very passionately for our last time. He didn't tell me the word of love. After a month of being in my country, I can't forget him or imagine that we are friends, I sent him all what I feel in an email, and that I can never forget him or what happened between us. I told him that I will do something that will hurt both of us. I didn't tell him what I would do, but I had the intention to completely forget about him and never to talk to him or chat with him again.
But he didn't reply that email, and didn't try to talk to me ever since. I sent him that email from about a week.
Now I feel so desperate, and very sad. There's much pain in my heart, that I love him deeply.
I need to know if this is real love or not? I need to know if he really loved me or he was just paying.
Can a man kiss so passionately when having no love feelings?
He is a taurus by the way, I know that taurus men are very patient in their decisionsand very honest too. But what can I do? Should I send him another email asking him if he was just playing and having fun, so this helps me to forget him? Or should I wait for him to call or send an email?
Do you think he would contact me again?

I think you finally met this guy you grew close to through communication but you don't really know him. You may have strong feeling for him, but I don't think it's love. You need to forget about this guy and go home or just forget, leave him alone.
He does not want what you want. He probably wants a sexual relationship with you, that's it. He may even have a girlfriend.