I have always been somewhat blinded by love. I have been in several relationships that were either abusive or the guy was unfaithful to me. Every guy I have ever dated has told me they love me and all of that jazz. I have been a relationship with this guy for a while now but I have started second guessing everything ever since we had a few minor problems. It's gotten to the point to where I am not happy unless I am with him. My paranoia has completely taken over me. What should I do? I was so happy before and the minor problems weren't anything to completely kill my trust, I am guessing I just find it hard to trust anyone and I really do not want to lose the guy I am with because of my extreme paranoia. So I am asking how do I get over my paranoia?

What you need to do is to build your confidence and self-esteem.

You can start with these books:
The Guide to Self-Help Books – Recommended Self-Help Books - Self-Help Book Reviews (http://www.books4selfhelp.com/)
Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide (http://www.athealth.com/Consumer/disorders/self-esteem.html)

I suspect that you're not in a position to be in a relationship because you're too low on self-esteem. Sounds like the relationship is preventing you from building your confidence. The first person you need to worry about is yourself. If you can't even worry about yourself, how can you worry about a second person?

If most of your relationships have been, or turned out to be abusive or the guy was unfaithful to you, then you being 'paranoid' isn't really a surprise.

It seems like you pick the same traits and characteristics in all these men.

I've noticed over the years, that strangely happens when couples separate, or divorce, and end up with a new partner that are oddly similar, character wise, to the last one.

I'm wondering how much work you put into really knowing a person, before you allow yourself to become so head over heels that you are not seeing what is right in front of you.

If you don't figure that out, or what causes all these breakups with the same ending of infidelity and/or abuse, then how will you know when you have a good man that doesn't have those characteristics. Being suspicious and second guessing and paranoid as you say, will only lead to him backing off under the pressure of being only guilty of you thinking he is an abuser, or that he is an adulterer or whatever.

If you expect a relationship to end in disaster, and begin to see problems leading down the same path you've previously been on, how will you know that you aren't putting up defense mechanisms that you don't need to. Maybe you don't have to protect yourself at all, because this man, could be different.

You need to see the difference, and figure out that not all men are the same. But, if you are attracted to a certain type of man (I think you are whether you realize it or not), then it is time to get into counselling and figure out why you think so little of yourself, that you choose poor partners that are not good for you.

I agree that confidence is a big part of this, and you need to be self assured and smart about your choices, but also underying all of this self-doubt is ignorance about what attracts you to them in the first place.

There are reasons women have one abusive relationship after the other, and to stop the cycle, you need to know why, and particularly, why this happens to you over and over again.

Before you automatically assume this current beau is going to end up like all the rest, do yourself a big favour, and try counselling. Behaviours that are self destructive, have a cause, and the way you are thinking can be changed, just as any behaviour can also be changed.