My boyfriend argued with me and broke up with me more than 10times but would have tears in his eyes and say you're the one I love you.. but he broke it off for good cause I wouldn't be controlled by him anymore.. he then hacked my account and exploited me.. then the day afterhe went to his ex girlfriend who he broke up with cause he daint love her, so he's using her to try and get over me but last night he messaged me and said I'm coming home from ambers I'm in love with you I want you but my parents hate him and never want to see him again...

Pleasee helpp what should I doo?? xx

You should tell him to stay where he is for these reason,

1- He dumped you 10 times, and crying or not nobody who really cares does that!

2-but he broke it off for good cause I wouldn't be controlled by him anymore..

3-he then hacked my account and exploited me

4-then the day after he went to his ex girlfriend who he broke up with cause he doesn't love her

5-he then hacked my account and exploited me

6- he's using her to try and get over me

7-parents hate him and never want to see him again...

All good reasons for you to tell him NO WAY!!

Thank you I appriciate your advice.. I just get upset when I think of the memories we had.. I just don't want to think this way forevver :(

Will I ever get over him.. I know I can't be with him because my parents hate him.
But why do I feel like he will be the only one I will ever love he's gone back to his baby's mother now but he says he wants me.. I personally think he's usuing her to try and get over me but he told mei was the one and he loved me more than anything.. but he did not treat me nice.. I don't know what todo, does he really love me or isit puppy love..

Can any tell me their experiences and give me some advice too xx
Pleasee I'm a mess!

p.s I'm only 16

thank you I appreciate your advice.. I just get upset when I think of the memories we had.. I just don't want to think this way forever :(
Trust me you won't. If you stop listening and putting up with his BS, through strict NO CONTACT, for any reason you will heal, and be much better for a healthier happier more mature adult relationship.

Read the stickies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/)and see how its best done.

p.s im only 16

I like the way you said "ONLY" 16. Yes you will get over him. Frankly, anyone who would date a 16 yr old that already has a child is NOT someone you want to be involved with in the first place.

I merged your threads, please don't start multiple threads for the same issues. Also don't use the comments feature for follow-up info.

I know.. he has a kid and I've been brought up well and I don't feel comfortable with it either x
thank you for the advice and your truthful opinions

He also controlled me and messed me about :(
When he needed mei would be there but when I had to go to my grandmas he would go mad at me . I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him trying not to say or do anything that will make him go mad and I was depressed and not myself. He would tell me to come to his house everyday.. and I would then he would say I need space so when I give him space he then says " you dont love me, you neva want to spend anytime" he makes me feel guilty and apologise for something I have not done !

You are right that he is controlling. You don't need that. I was in a somewhat controlling relationship when I was 18, for a couple of years. I understand exactly what you mean about walking on eggshells. I don't know that you fully realize how bad it is until you leave, especially when you are young and haven't experienced what a good relationship is all about.

You say you are upset when you think of the memories you have. Maybe you should focus on the bad memories instead of the good memories. Often when you are not the one doing the breaking up, you think of what you lost. Change that to think of what you have gained - your freedom, your ability to move on and make better choices, and a lot of knowledge about yourself.

As Tal said, you gave many good reasons not to be involved with this guy. You will meet many guys in the future and the key is to get to know them and figure out if they are good relationship material for you. This guy is not. There will be others. Don't settle for less than you deserve. You deserve to be happy and to have the respect and kindness of the person you love.

Thankyouu :) when you said you realise how bad it is did you meen how bad I was treated or how bad it feels to not be with him ?x

kiewiebeauty : thankyouu :) when you said you realise how bad it is did you meen how bad I was treated or how bad it feels to not be with him ?x

I mean how bad you are being treated. A relationship, especially at 16, should be fun. When you feel like you have to walk on eggshells, when he is breaking up with you so often, when his ex is still involved, when he violates your privacy (hacks into your account) - all of these are red flags. Each of these are cause for you to leave him.

What I figured out when I was younger is that I want a relationship where I am treated as an equal, respected, listened to, am proud of, and that I enjoy. At 16, you should be having fun and not dealing with all this drama. It can cause so much damage to your self-esteem and confidence - which can take years to repair. Don't let him back in your life. Get involved instead with your family and your good friends, and concentrate on doing well in school. That will pay off for the rest of your life. :)

thank you you're right I'm starting collage on Monday so I can look forward to that at least xx.. I just honestly hope I get over him because at this moment in time I feel like I won't be able to ever get over him :( will I ? Why do I feel like its going to be forever? Am inormal ?x

plus: he used to say I will stay with you forever.. it was like he had two sides to him x

You will be drawn into the whirlwind that is your freshman year in college and shortly you won't have any time to even think of him. Freshman year is very important and you need to concentrate on your grades.

He said that to you to set the hook, and he did have two sides to him. It probably never occurred to him that you wouldn't let yourself be treated this way. Part of the reason you don't know if you'll get over him or whether you'll find someone new is that he has treated you badly and it has hurt yourself image.

Give yourself some time. Starting college (at 16 - good for you) is a perfect reason for you to take a time out from guys. It will take time for you to adapt to college. It's different than high school - you have to develop better study habits, your professors expect a higher level of maturity and won't take any excuses, and you'll be meeting new people. I don't know if you will still be at home or if you are living on campus, but if you are leaving your house that is another area you need to learn how to handle.

You will meet someone new, and next time I hope you expect to be treated well. Don't rush into anything, though. You need to take time to heal from this guy and become strong again, and you need time to adjust to college. When the time is right, take your time getting to know someone before starting a relationship. Make sure you are compatible and that he treats you well. I went on to have several great relationships, and one bad one - but I didn't stay in that as soon as I knew it was a mistake. Now I am getting married in one month to a great guy. I'm sure the same will happen for you. Do well in college. Make lots of new friends. Take care of yourself. It will all work out.

I live in england and its abit different collage but I get what your saying.
I just hate having his ex contacting me :(

Why is she contacting you? If it's about him, that should stop if you stop seeing him. Read the stickies about no contact and apply it to both of them. You don't have to respond to her. Don't talk to her, send or read her emails, etc.

She is talking about him how they are going to have another kid.. but he's using her because he knows she will keep taking him back ! Ergghh I'm so angry.. I'm not jealous I'm just super angry x

So let her take him back. It's not your problem to be concerned about that. I have the impression that you don't want him back, that you realize he's not good for you. Let it and him go, and start being concerned about your own life.

your right.
I would ofgot back with him though if my parents didn't hate him but they forbidme to see him x and I know he isn't right he's like brainwashed me in a way x

You'll thank your parents some day. :)

I'm sorry but I have to go into a meeting now. I hope you take the time to read the stickies on this board. They'll explain to you how to go No Contact and how to get your life back. I'll check back later. Good luck.

thank you very much I appriciate it x
what stickies I'm new to this x

The stickies are posts that are flagged to appear at the top of the forum because they are of general interest and helpful to a lot of people. If you go to the top of the page above your questions and click on the word "Relationships" it will take you to the board. You'll see the stickies at the top. I'll give a link to some of the more relevant posts:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/meaning-no-contact-nc-425290.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/nc-rules-faqs-332732.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-did-learn-after-devastating-breakup-303761.html

There's a lot to read. Please ask if you have any questions. If you stick to this, it is going to really open your eyes to a lot of things. I know you will be happier if you do, but it will take some time.

Thank you so much :)

He told me he doesn't love her but wantto try and makeit work and learn to love her. He said he's deeply in love with me though ? But the main part of the question is.. I don't want any other girl to have him but I know I can't have him because my parents won't let me. And he's posted pictures of me naked on the internet and dumped me 10 times during the 4 month relationship ?
Should I feel jealous because he's with a girl that hedoesnt even love ?or should I feel sorry for him ?xx HELP!

Girl, you should be out partying and celebrating that you are rid of this louse!

He posted nude pictures of you on the internet and you actually want to be with this man?

Hun, you need to get some self esteem and find a relationship with a man who will treat you like the princess you are!

see that's the thing he treated me like a princess but he alsotreated me like poo ! Its just we had memories and its hard because he was nice then not and it was like a cycle x :( I don't know what todox

Is it normal for me not to want any other girl to have him.. will I feellike this forever ?

I don't want to get back with him but I don't want to let go . HELP I'm in such a mess!

You were only dating 4 months right?

4 months does not a relationship make. You hardly know a person in a year let alone 4 months.

You will get over him. Find someone who is more available to you, preferably without children.

You will feel like this for a little while until you realise how much better you are without him.

How old are you both? You say your parents won't allow you to see him.

Yess.. because he will always see his ex if we wer together so its best of I guess.
He would say stuff like you're the one for me I've never loved sumone like this before but that made him more obsessive and controlling

16 and I'm 17

I have a fear that if I get over his and don't get him back then he might loose feelings for me ? Is it normal for me to feel that way ?
Also why do I feel like I only want him ?x

Kiewiebeauty, please do not use the Comments feature to respond. Use the Answer this question feature.

Okay, he's 16 and he already has a child? You are way too young to be dating someone with this amount of baggage. Nothing good would come from this relationship.

OK sorry I'm new to this x
an I know he's 17 but still yess baggage. I don't want to become a stepmom and him constantly having conversation with her

What hurts is knowing he still loves me because he's told me but yet he's with her
Do you think he's just tryna keep me attached and give me hope ?

I think he's too young to know what he wants. Children shouldn't be mothers or fathers.

No matter what happens he will ALWAYS have the baby's mother in his life. If you can't deal with that you need to find a boy who does not have that kind of drama in his life.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/help-me-your-opinions-506146.html

In this one you're 16.. so if its an error and he's 17 and he's got a child.. what's to say you couldn't get pregnant to him also? At 17 and one child already.. its not a bandwagon I'd be happy jumping on.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-can-get-boy-like-me-506279.html

Same boy or different?

I know he's messed up his life.and I chose not to have a baby because I want a life before I commit to being a mother :)
You would jump on the wagon ?

yes the same boy x

You'll be over him in no time. Move on.

Make new friends. Study. Exercise.
Get a new hobby. Do anything but sit around thinking of who he's with, and what they're doing.

You both are too young to be having problems of this sort. Don't make the same mistake that his other girl did.

And for him to post pictures on the internet, is both immoral and illegal. You should be extremely mad at him about that. That's here FOREVER .

Your parents are smart. Listen to them.

Iknow thank you :)
And your correct because I want to be a teenager and live my young years and not be dragged to grow up early

Maybe moderators could merge all OP's threads in one, because as much as I want to help, I can't keep up anymore - and make a sticky reminder to all newbies starting to post here just keep it all contained and do not start 5 more threads on basically the same subject?

Thank you!

This boy's life is a mess and I'm sure he has made your life a mess. What kind of love is it that he has for you when he post nude pictures of you on the Internet?

You have very low self esteem if you are wanting someone like this in your life.
This boy does not love you, if he did he'd be with you. You don't need him in your life any way.
Do things with your friends, get a life apart from him. Don't continue to degrade yourself with this foolishness.

He's dumped you 10 times in four months, he's posted naked pictures of you on the internet, he has a child with another 'woman' of likely his age, which is 17?

Love may be blind, but this is just ridiculous!! I'm not so sure that you realize what you are saying- how old are you?

I'm 16

To be dumped 10 times in 4 months is unreal. You were never a happy couple long enough for anything good to happen.
Were you just hard up for a boy friend? Why in the world would you continue to go back to someone like that?

This guy is bad news. He has enough drama attached to him that will last a life time. You have a lifetime ahead of you.
Consider yourself lucky he is gone and get over this sick infatuation, because that's what this is.

Harsh ! But so true thank you girl xx

He dumped me 10 times in 4 months we been together!
He hacks into my account and looks through old messages that I had with recent boyfriends in my past and then gets angry at me, even though it was before I met them !
He goes through my contact list on Facebook and msn and deletes all the guys and decides who I can be friends with !
He then has the nerve to call me jealous and that I'm ruienin the relationship , when he's chattin to other girlsand calling them babe and puts kisses to them and I just ask who is she ? He then goes mad at me saying yoursoo jealous !
He then asks me who's that why you puttin kisses to them , I though if there no problem in him duing it then I can I guess, but he can't handle it!
He says things like I'm the girlfriend from hell and that IM the one who need to CHANGE, and I'm the one ruienin the relationship !
He would go mad at me if I'm not available everyday to see him! he will arrange things without asking if I'm available !

He asked me to marry him 4 times! Inbettween the break ups even straight after a break up sometimes !
I obviously turned him down becauseim 16 and he's 17 with a kid from another girl!
He went mad saying you don't love me if you did you would marry me, I told him I don't want to rush things and that why would he want to marry me so young and if he keeps breaking up with me!
Anyway I got sick of all this controlling it got too much even my family started to notice he wasn't treating me well because my dad had to pick me up countless times where I was crying and wanted to come home !
He would tell me I would be nothing without him and I need him !
He played with my emotions but I couldn't seeit at first but then people started pointing it out and inoticed I was changing who I am asa person for him! When its his problem!
But he would make me apologise for something I never did!
He never apologised to me even if he knew something was his fault!
Last Monday we split up becausei told him I would not be controlled anymore and I deserve to be treated better!
Becausei didn't cry and wasn't running back to him he then started saying he cheated when he actually didn't but he later told me he said it to hurt me even the girl he said he slept with fell out with him because she said she never and he made that poor girl look a slut!
Anyway afew hours after the argument I got a text from a friend asking what them pictures are about, I didn't know what pictures they wer talking about, I tried logging into my account and he had hacked into not only my Facebook but my email too!
He hadposted explicit private photosof me giving out my info and saying "if anyone wants me im here " basically advertising me!
Well I was in tears! And he went back to his baby mother saying he didn't love her he just needed her to get over me :S! Which isn't fair on her, because she still likes him and he's using her !
I called the police and he's nowon an offender list because he's done things in his past too !
He them messaged me saying he loves me !
I said tell me the truth and if you don't I will walk away !
He won't tell me the truth because he wants to leave me hanging on by sending me messages saying " i want you, i need you, im inlove with you "
My parents hate him so it would never work but he's emotionall abusing me he's leaving me hanging and is stopping me from moving on!

Anyway the question I want to ask is...
Is it me with the problem , and I was the worst girlfriend and I ruiend it?
OR
Is it him with the problem but doesn't want to admitt it so he puts the blame on me, even though he verbally and emotional abuses me?

Honest opinions pleasee
Thankyouu
:) xx

This needs to be merged with your other questions on this topic.

You move keep moving on and don't look back,go complete no contact.

He has a lot of issues at ayoung age,while your just young.

His controlling nature will not improve unless its nipped in the bud now,however that's no concern of yours now.

You learned, hopefully a valuable lesson with this guy,and one I do hope you don't entend repeating.

Do your own thing,hang out with your friends,have fun for petes sake!

Plenty of time for serious relationships in a few years.

He dumped me 10 times in 4 months we been together!
He hacks into my account and looks through old messages that I had with recent boyfriends in my past and then gets angry at me, even though it was before I met them !
He goes through my contact list on Facebook and msn and deletes all the guys and decides who I can be friends with !
He then has the nerve to call me jealous and that I'm ruienin the relationship , when he's chattin to other girlsand calling them babe and puts kisses to them and I just ask who is she ? He then goes mad at me saying yoursoo jealous !
He then asks me who's that why you puttin kisses to them , I though if there no problem in him duing it then I can I guess, but he can't handle it!
He says things like I'm the girlfriend from hell and that IM the one who need to CHANGE, and I'm the one ruienin the relationship !
He would go mad at me if I'm not available everyday to see him! he will arrange things without asking if I'm available !

He asked me to marry him 4 times! Inbettween the break ups even straight after a break up sometimes !
I obviously turned him down becauseim 16 and he's 17 with a kid from another girl!
He went mad saying you don't love me if you did you would marry me, I told him I don't want to rush things and that why would he want to marry me so young and if he keeps breaking up with me!
Anyway I got sick of all this controlling it got too much even my family started to notice he wasn't treating me well because my dad had to pick me up countless times where I was crying and wanted to come home !
He would tell me I would be nothing without him and I need him !
He played with my emotions but I couldn't seeit at first but then people started pointing it out and inoticed I was changing who I am asa person for him! When its his problem!
But he would make me apologise for something I never did!
He never apologised to me even if he knew something was his fault!
Last Monday we split up becausei told him I would not be controlled anymore and I deserve to be treated better!
Becausei didn't cry and wasn't running back to him he then started saying he cheated when he actually didn't but he later told me he said it to hurt me even the girl he said he slept with fell out with him because she said she never and he made that poor girl look a slut!
Anyway afew hours after the argument I got a text from a friend asking what them pictures are about, I didn't know what pictures they wer talking about, I tried logging into my account and he had hacked into not only my Facebook but my email too!
He hadposted explicit private photosof me giving out my info and saying "if anyone wants me im here " basically advertising me!
Well I was in tears! And he went back to his baby mother saying he didn't love her he just needed her to get over me :S! Which isn't fair on her, because she still likes him and he's using her !
I called the police and he's nowon an offender list because he's done things in his past too !
He them messaged me saying he loves me !
I said tell me the truth and if you don't I will walk away !
He won't tell me the truth because he wants to leave me hanging on by sending me messages saying " i want you, i need you, im inlove with you "
My parents hate him so it would never work but he's emotionall abusing me he's leaving me hanging and is stopping me from moving on!

Anyway the question I want to ask is...
Is it me with the problem , and I was the worst girlfriend and I ruiend it?
OR
Is it him with the problem but doesn't want to admitt it so he puts the blame on me, even though he verbally and emotional abuses me?

Honest opinions pleasee
Thankyouu
Xx

Do you really need advice? Go back and read all of your threads. Surely you can see this is a messed up situation.
If one of your friends came to you with this what would you tell her?
You're 16 years old, there is no reason dating should have this much drama attached to it.
Do not have any contact with this guy in any way shape or form. You will heal, you will get over this mess.

Kiewie, please continue to post in one single thread. By the way, you've got some excellent responses to all of your questions. Go back, print them out and read them all over until it all sinks.

Forget the rest this question is everything allin one I will try and delete the rest

Of course this is his problem. It is all common sense. LIke Shadowburn says, go back and read over this. I'm pretty sure after reading that several times it's clear he has some issues. There are just people like that in the world. You have to be able to tell them apart from everyone else, in which this case is loud and clear. Just think about it.
I hope you can mentally recover from this. Hope all is well.
-Crazychick.

I have a request for you that I think will not only help you but will help us. You have repeated your question several times, even after receiving great advice. Will you now write a post about the things you have learned about yourself and how you can or will deal with this issue? If you have determined what you want (in a guy or in life) in the future, that would also help. I'm not looking for you to repeat what we have told you, though. I'm asking that you tell us in your words what you will do and what you have figured out about the relationship. Don't write what you think we want to hear, but rather write from your perspective what you will do and what you have learned. It might open some new questions for you, which would be helpful. Asking the same questions multiple times is not helpful.

Frankly if you dress in public as you do in you in your avatar you are sending the wrong message.
Maybe this is why he's jealous and doesn't trust you.

You are sixteen and you are trying to grow up too fast. You have a lot of issues with this guy and if he has a child you don't need to even think of marriage at your age.

The sexy dressing and flirting is going to drive any guy away after a while. No one wants guys thinking negative and unflattering thoughts about the girl they're with.
Think about it.

Hello Kiewiebeauty,

I think perhaps it's both of your problems. I think that there is too much jealousy on both parts. Too much nonsense going on.

You guys seem to have a very argumentative and toxic relationship.

Perhaps you are better off just being friends.

At 16, I wouldn't be so concerned with guys. I think you should focus on your studies, and college future plans, and your friends and family.

There will be plenty of time in the future for men.

Good luck.

He has a problem but you also have one if you don't see that this relationship is just full of drama and is toxic. You have a problem if you don't see that this guy does not love you. Love does not do what he has done to you. Why you would even go back to a guy who has dumped you ten times is beyond me.
You both have a problem.

Please stop starting threads about the same guy. It's quite confusing and unnecessary

Especially your first post..

"he dumped me 10 times in 4 months we been together!"

What is that almost every week?

Not good.

Excuse me! I do modeling !
And I do not dress sexy and flirt
I would watch what you are saying !
You clearly did not read it!
He is an abusive partner end of!
You have clearly got the wrong idea of what has happened

OK can sumone help me!
my ex that my posts have been about called me asking for me back admitting he had a problem but my dad said there is no going back because of how much he hurt me should I listen to my dad or my ex?
pluss theonly thing that's stopping me from saying ***** off is the fact I don't want him to get another girl? x
pleaseee adviceee?? xx

Listen to your dad. This guy will not change he will keep hurting you. And its wrong of you to want to keep him from another girl.

Listen to your dad and to what has been said to you here.
This relationship has too much drama to be any good.

Your only wanting him because you don't want anyone else to have him is selfish and immature.
You need to get over this and grow up. The guy is a creep, he has so much baggage he's way over the weight limit, has dumped you so many times you should feel real comfortable in the trash heap, yet you don't want anyone else to have him. Get real girl! He's not even suitable for anybody else at this point in his life.

ok can sumone help me !!
my ex that my posts have been about called me asking for me back admitting he had a problem but my dad said there is no going back because of how much he hurt me should i listen to my dad or my ex ??
pluss theonly thing thats stopping me from sayin ***** off is the fact i dont want him to get another girl ??x
pleaseee adviceee ???xx

This is going to be harsh, because I can't believe you are really contemplating going back to him AGAIN.

Don't play 'dog in the manger' and try to hold on to something you don't need and shouldn't want.

Your father is completely correct. Your ex is playing a game. Time to grow up and start thinking about your needs instead of catering to his.

Haven't you had enough, yet? Do you want to go for 30 break ups in six months? Do you want to hear more about how you let him down when he gets back from playing games with another girl, again?

Read your posts IF you need any more reasons not to go back to him.

I think you need to ask yourself some questions and the answer will become apparent.

Did he treat you well? Did you feel secure and respected by him? Is he honest, reliable, and trustworthy? Is he someone you see yourself with long-term?

I’ll be very surprised if you can answer any of those questions with a “yes”.

Have you given any thought to what you want out of life? Do you want someone who can’t make up his mind about what you mean to him or do you want someone who cherishes you? Do you want someone who has already made a mess of his life or do you want someone who you can build a good, solid, happy life with? Do you want to live with the question of when he will decide to be with his baby’s mother again or do you want someone who wants you?

You’re only 16. Why limit yourself to someone who has already proven he knows nothing about love? You should be dating guys for fun, not the drama this guy puts you through. This is most likely a lack of confidence in yourself. Don’t you think you can do better? I certainly do. I’d run from this guy as fast as possible. What does he have going for him? Maybe you have chemistry, until he decides to dump you again – but if you will open your mind up to other possibilities, you will find that you can have chemistry with a guy who deserves you. You really need to allow yourself to grow up and make good choices. Your life will be much more rewarding if you do. Listen to your father. He is the one in this question who really loves you. The boy is trouble and is using you. Make a decision that will work for your future; think beyond today.

ok can sumone help me !!
my ex that my posts have been about called me asking for me back admitting he had a problem but my dad said there is no going back because of how much he hurt me should i listen to my dad or my ex ??
pluss theonly thing thats stopping me from sayin ***** off is the fact i dont want him to get another girl ??x
pleaseee adviceee ???xx

Listen to your dad, as him getting with someone else is a really lousy reason to put your heart back in harms way to be hurt again. Don't you think?

So you meen me I shudnt get back with him just cause I don't want anyone else to have him ?

I know I've opend a lot of threads but I'm not too sure how you use this site properly yet.
So apologies
Anyway if you have read my other threads on my ex I would have mentioned that he told me he had gone back to his baby's mother ?
Well it was all a lie to try and make me jealous..
And now he wants me back and I don't know whether to take him back.
(when he told me he was cheating it was a lie to try and make me jealous)
He says he has changed and askedme to meet him but I declined because I had made plans so he was pissed off at me saying " im obv not that important"
And basically acting the sammee.. opinions please?

No matter how you put it, and whatever reason he gives, I doubt anyone here will advise you to get back with him to be dumped for the 11th time.

What's it going to take for you to realize that, and go strict NO CONTACT with this fellow, so you can heal, and move on??

I know !
Should I be bothered about him having another girl
But he did say he's changed , but my dad said people like that never change ?x

Kiewie you deserve SOOO much better than this scumbag. Please listen to everyone in this thread and your dad, who cares about you more than any other guy in the world. Stay away from this LOSER!

Please DO NOT use the Comment feature to reply to a post. Please use the Answer box at the bottom of the page. It let's us know that you have responded.


kiewiebeauty : I know ! Should I be bothered about him having another girl but he did say hes changed , but my dad said people like that never change ?x


I know I've opend a lot of threads but I'm not too sure how you use this site properly yet.
so apologies
anyway if you have read my other threads on my ex I would have mentioned that he told me he had gone back to his baby's mother ?
well it was all a lie to try and make me jealous ..
and now he wants me back and I don't know whether to take him back.
(when he told me he was cheating it was a lie to try and make me jealous)
he says he has changed and askedme to meet him but I declined because I had made plans so he was pissed off at me saying " im obv not that important"
and basically acting the sammee.. opinions please?

He lied to you. He tried to manipulate your feelings and make you jealous. He has told you he changed, but he acted just the same as he did before. So his saying he has changed is a lie.

Are you saying that you truly trust this person who seems to have no respect for you and your feelings? This person who only wants what he wants and doesn't care how he gets it? This person who has lied to you on several occasions?

Yes, I am saying to stay far away from him. Delete, block, ignore, de-friend, etc. every form of contact you have with him. Do not contact him and do not allow him to contact you. End the confusion for once and for all.

Listen to your father. Get out and meet new people. Move on from this mess he is trying to pull you back into.

kiewiebeauty : i know ! should i be bothered about him having another girl but he did say hes changed , but my dad said people like that never change ?x

How many times has he said he's changed? You don't want to let this creep go and you won't until he hurts you really bad and that is unfortunate. You don't learn from your mistakes and you don't listen to wise counsel. You've got some growing up to do.

I want to move on but he's sending me flowers and everything !
Why do I feel like I won't find anyone else ?
What if I don't find no one else ?

You will. Don't accept the flowers he sends. Good Luck

You are only 16. You WILL find someone else. Your life isn't over yet. You still have plenty of time to live.

He's already got a baby. Do you want a ready made family and all the drama that comes with it? Remember, he will be tied to this girl forever. You are too young to have to deal with something so big.

i want to move on but hes sending me flowers and everything !
why do i feel like i wont find anyone else ?
what if i dont find noone else ?

This is going to be harsh.

You don't accept the flowers. You send them back. You give them to the hospital to brighten someone else's day.

You have your father tell him that if the ex doesn't stop, your father will be contacting the police about getting a restraining order.

You do your part by breaking off all contact with him and accepting no contact from him.

You feel like you won't find anyone else because you are young. You think you have to have someone 'right now'. You don't. Being single is a great experience if you use it correctly. Dating different guys and learning what you like in a date and what you don't is an invaluable lesson. This is the time to build lasting friendships. This is the time to learn about yourself and what makes you happy.

You are 16 years old. You have a lifetime ahead of you to 'find someone'. There isn't a time limit that you have to have a boyfriend by or you will be single for life.

You will have many relationships. Some lasting. Some fleeting. But all of them will have their special places in your heart and someday you find the person who eclipses all the others. This person is not that one.

i want to move on but hes sending me flowers and everything !
why do i feel like i wont find anyone else ?
what if i dont find noone else ?

You would rather be with someone who treats you like crap than to be alone for awhile?
Grow up girl. There are so many more things to do at your age than waste your time mooning over a baby daddy who treats you like dirt.
He is not the only boy in the world and you certainly have plenty of time to find one. Being a teenager is not just about dating.

OK so the same lad sent me an expensive bunch of flowers. I turned him down still and within 5 days he was with a girl and it hurt me . I want him back just so that girl can't have him, but he treated me badly why do I want him back and feel like this ?
he sentme a message saying he still has feelings for me and he wants to meet.. he said he doesn't love this girl as much as he loved me.
help I need you opinions on what I should do , read back on my other posts to help you with your answer ?x
thank you x

Girl wake up. If he loved you he'd be with you.
You are behaving in a very childish and selfish way. You don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him.

He's no good. He's not the only guy in the world. You need some confidence and some self esteem, then this creep being with someone else would not phase you at all.

ok so the same lad sent me an expensive bunch of flowers. i turned him down still and within 5 days he was with a girl and it hurt me . i want him back just so that girl can't have him, but he treated me badly why do i want him back and feel like this ?
he sentme a message saying he still has feelings for me and he wants to meet .. he saidhe doesnt love this girl as much as he loved me.
help i need you opinions on what i should do , read back on my other posts to help you with your answer ?x
thankyou x

I think you need to very slowly and thoroughly read the thread again to help you understand why you should move forward in your life and let him go.

Look at his actions. They don't match his words. He loves you so much he is willing to hurt other girls and use them to get what he wants. Sorry, love doesn't work like that. Control and abuse works that way. How a male (or female) treats other other people is a reflection of his true self and how he will treat you.

There are only so many ways to say leave him and his current girlfriend alone, let go of the toxic relationship, heal and move forward. It's your choice to hold on to pain and confusion. It's your choice to let it go.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Cat1864 again.


Enough said!

What do you think it says about you that you would love a loser who treats you like crap, and then get jealous when they use and abuse someone else.

Originally Posted by kiewiebeauty
OK so the same lad sent me an expensive bunch of flowers. I turned him down still and within 5 days he was with a girl and it hurt me . I want him back just so that girl can't have him, but he treated me badly why do I want him back and feel like this ?

That's so desperate, and you have no self esteem, or self respect. You can do better if you try. Unless you need the attention that bad, do you? Just so you know that's not love, its dependence, just like a junkie. And that's the reason you need to love and respect yourself.


he sent me a message saying he still has feelings for me and he wants to meet.. he said he doesn't love this girl as much as he loved me.
That's because if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything, expensive flowers, smooth lies, anything. Start standing for yourself, and tell him to leave you alone, and have no further contact with this fool.


help I need you opinions on what I should do , read back on my other posts to help you with your answer ?x
Its you who should read your own posts again, as the responses will not change no matter what he buys you, or what he tells you. Now if you decide to ignore the advice you have been given, and fall for this fool, then at least come back and tell us how your way worked out for you. It should tell you something that everyone here agreed with your dad. That's something to think about.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.


"Thats so desperate, and you have no self esteem, or self respect. You can do better if you try. Unless you need the attention that bad, do you? Just so you know thats not love, its dependence, just like a junkie. And thats the reason you need to love and respect yourself."

I agree 100%

I start to think you may need more help than this board can offer.

There are pages and pages in your thread, people are telling you the same thing over and over. Yet you disregard all the advice and come back to ask the same question.

What are you trying to get out of this? Do you really think anyone in their right mind will tell you to run back to him?

How do you know he's with this girl?

You don't because he's a liar and you can't trust what comes out of his mouth.

You don't want to be with him but you don't want anyone else to be with him?

You sound like a spoilt brat.

Im starting to think you two deserve each other. 17 or not you still know what's right and wrong.

I feel sorry for the kid. What a drama...

This isn't Days Of Our Lives you know. This is your life so stop wasting it playing games with a loser.

Fell sorry for what kid I don't have a kid :S

Comment on kaka67's post

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Fell sorry for what kid I don't have a kid :S

Not your child, his. Did you forget about his child and the child's mother?

No I knew about him