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View Full Version : I was recently contacted by a 20 year old girl living in WV, she says I'm her dad


rahrone
Sep 6, 2010, 04:01 PM
I want to know if I will owe back child support since I was never made aware of her until now. She wants me to take a paternity test, will this make me liable for child support. Her mother was married when she was born and her step dads name is on her birth certificate.

Kitkat22
Sep 6, 2010, 04:04 PM
The only thing you're interested in is child support? Unbelievable!
You may have a child and you care only about child support?

Fr_Chuck
Sep 6, 2010, 04:15 PM
First could it be your daughter? I assume so.

Next if there was a child support order for you when she was a child, you will still owe. If there was not a order for support, then no you will not owe any back support

ScottGem
Sep 6, 2010, 04:46 PM
Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Parenting forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

You say your name is not on the birth certificate. So you were never declared the legal father. If the mother was married at the time of birth her husband would be considered the legal father unless a challenge was issued. Unless you were named the legal father and a child support order was issued in your name, then you would not be liable for child support, even if a DNA test shows you to be the father.

And I agree with KitKat, it's a shame your main concern is child support. Did you know the mother was pregnant and that you may have been the father?

asking
Sep 6, 2010, 04:53 PM
You are not obliged to take a paternity test, meet her or form a relationship with her. You sound a bit as though you feel kind of cornered. Anything you choose to do is voluntary. If you wish to be left alone, tell her that. Or at least ask for some time to think about what you want to do. Her request for a paternity seems a bit sudden and out of the blue. She lacks tact!

Kitkat22
Sep 6, 2010, 05:24 PM
This young lady contacted you and told you she might be your daughter and you want to shirk your resposibility. She has probably wanted to know her "real" Dad. Do you have any idea how much it must have excited her to talk to you.

You need to man up and take a DNA test and put this to rest. Money is not the most important thing in the world. This young lady could be your flesh and blood and you want to know about the cost if she is. That is pathetic. Think of how she feels and stop thinking in terms of money.

Shame on you.

JudyKayTee
Sep 7, 2010, 07:12 AM
No, you don't owe back child support UNLESS there is a child support order which you failed to honor.

She is over the age of majority (18). Unless there is a compelling reason for which she can get a Court Order (and there is a thread about this in missing persons, probably from a year ago, also in NY) you are not obligated to take a DNA test.

Why do you think she is looking for support and not some type of information/closure? I can't imagine living every day, not knowing 100% who my father is!

I am confused by your language - you had an affair with a married woman whose husband you refer to as the child's "step dad." Do you believe or KNOW that you are the father? Otherwise the wording is odd.

As far as the rest of the comments concerning your value system - you had an affair with a married woman. She (and possibly you) passed "your" child off as her husband's and you stood by and let that happen, suckering the other guy/husband into parenting and supporting your child.

I'm not the least bit surprised that your present concern is 100% monetary based on your past history.

Synnen
Sep 7, 2010, 07:43 AM
For those shaming the man because a stranger--yes, a stranger--wants him to submit to a test that may show that he got someone pregnant TWENTY ONE years ago----please keep in mind that you have no idea what's going on in this person's life after that long. He may not have known.

MY first questions would be to know my legal liabilities as well. There's no way I'd let a stranger barge into my life without knowing what legal and financial and moral pitfalls might be waiting for me, either.


As far as his morals--are you REALLY still holding him as the same person as 21 years ago? Are any of YOU the same person you were then? I know *I* was a different person then, and a much more selfish one. And besides--he states in his question that he didn't even know about her until now.

To the OP: As long as there is no support order, there should be no reason to owe back support.

Biologically related or not, he doesn't know this person, and doesn't know what steps to take to protect himself and any family he may now have.

To the OP--as long as there was no support order, you should not owe back support. I would also make sure that your first several meetings with this person are done with a third party present, so that high emotion does not foster miscommunication.

JudyKayTee
Sep 7, 2010, 08:09 AM
For those shaming the man because a stranger--yes, a stranger--wants him to submit to a test that may show that he got someone pregnant TWENTY ONE years ago----please keep in mind that you have no idea what's going on in this person's life after that long. He may not have known.

MY first questions would be to know my legal liabilities as well. There's no way I'd let a stranger barge into my life without knowing what legal and financial and moral pitfalls might be waiting for me, either.


As far as his morals--are you REALLY still holding him as the exact same person as 21 years ago? Are any of YOU the same person you were then? I know *I* was a different person then, and a much more selfish one. And besides--he states in his question that he didn't even know about her until now.

To the OP: As long as there is no support order, there should be no reason to owe back support.

Biologically related or not, he doesn't know this person, and doesn't know what steps to take to protect himself and any family he may now have.

To the OP--as long as there was no support order, you should not owe back support. I would also make sure that your first several meetings with this person are done with a third party present, so that high emotion does not foster miscommunication.


I understand what you are saying BUT until OP adds to this post I am not certain that this is a mistake he made 20 or 21 years ago or a decision he made and then he never turned around. I am troubled by the "her husband, the stepfather" comment - makes me think OP always knew and let the husband/stepfather support this child in all ways.

Would I have walked away from a child 21 years ago (if you are asking me)? No. I'm not talking about adoption - I'm talking about walking away.

Yes, I'm not the same person I was "back then" but I don't believe I've changed that much.

My advice stays - the child cannot force DNA unless/until there's a Court Order due to a compelling reason . It is up to OP to meet or not meet.

I am searching out the post from the "girl" in NY who did locate her father, got a Court Order, met with him, communicated - and it was a disaster. She ended up very, very badly "hurt" by a man who didn't want to be part of her life then - and doesn't want to be part of her life now. I'm sure her father, whose life was suddenly shaken to the core, feels the same way.

No easy path for either side.

ScottGem
Sep 7, 2010, 08:34 AM
Its true some of us may owe the OP an apology for jumping to certain conclusions. However, until the OP returns to explain the circumstances, I have to go by what little he has posted.

asking
Sep 7, 2010, 08:54 AM
I think he was pretty clear. She already has a father in as much as her mother was married when she was born and her (possibly non bio) father was on the birth certificate. He said he was unaware of her existence until now. I think this young woman has a lot of nerve approaching a perfect stranger and asking that he take a paternity test. I don't think he should be shamed about wondering what the consequences might be for him.

Lots of bio parents who put their kids up for adoption don't want to be contacted and we mostly respect that. I don't see this as that different.

JudyKayTee
Sep 7, 2010, 09:28 AM
I see the difference in whether the husband KNEW he wasn't the father - put your "kids" up for adoption, everyone signs, everyone knows, no one gets this type of con job - if that's what happened.

I strongly suspect that if the male on the birth certificate posted that he supported this child for 20 years, believed she was his child and - surprise! - found out he's not the advice would be very, very critical of the birth father and mother.

OP refers to the husband as the stepfather so it's not like he didn't know. If OP knows and/or believes that this is his child and does nothing, dies, will or no will his next of kin might very well be in for the fight of a lifetime.

I think until OP comes back no one knows what happened - and I don't see OP coming back.

I also read the various legal threads about "my father died and he never acknowledged me and what am I entitled to get" posts so I'm not even certain what it is the daughter wants or needs to know - or why NOW this is a question.

Also need to know when mother told daughter that, by the way, "he's not your real father." And why.

Which takes us full circle to legally compelling reason to get DNA done.

All else aside - and I've done it myself - this is a legal forum and that is the legal answer.

Synnen
Sep 7, 2010, 09:32 AM
I see fault with the MOTHER if the OP never knew. Not with the OP.

How many questions do we get on a daily basis about "how much trouble would I be in if my boyfriend signed the birth certificate knowing he's not the father? The father broke up with me and I don't want him around"?

Too many questions--but either way, if the OP didn't know about her until she approached him, it can hardly be his fault for not being there.

Kitkat22
Sep 7, 2010, 10:31 AM
I shouldn't have posted on the legal board since I know nothing about the law. I apologize to those who are law experts. It just irritated me about this girl.
My apologies to the ones who do know about the laws.

JudyKayTee
Sep 7, 2010, 12:31 PM
I shouldn't have posted on the legal board since I know nothing about the law. I apologize to those who are law experts. It just irritated me about this girl.
my apologies to the ones who do know about the laws.


It's a knee jerk reaction. I had to read the question several times and I'm still not sure - how does he know stepfather's name is on because, why is that person the stepfather, too many questions.

I'd like to hear from the stepfather, by the way - but that's never going to happen.

For whatever reason OP believes the "child" so I'm voting that he has some knowledge.

Of course, I MAY have been wrong before - a few hundred times, give or take.

Kitkat22
Sep 7, 2010, 12:33 PM
It's a knee jerk reaction. I had to read the question several times and I'm still not sure - how does he know stepfather's name is on bc, why is that person the stepfather, too many questions.

I'd like to hear from the stepfather, by the way - but that's never going to happen.

For whatever reason OP believes the "child" so I'm voting that he has some knowledge.

Of course, I MAY have been wrong before - a few hundred times, give or take.





I think you're right on this one.:)

asking
Sep 7, 2010, 02:59 PM
I tend to think "step dad" was just because OP was confused about what to call the father.

Synnen
Sep 7, 2010, 03:13 PM
And please remember--he was contacted by this girl.

He is liable to use the same language she did to describe relationships.

GV70
Sep 7, 2010, 06:25 PM
The only thing you're interested in is child support? Unbelievable!
You may have a child and you care only about child support?

If I was the OP I would be scared,too.
The West Virginia statutes are silent about the limitation of awarded retroactive child support and there is presumption that child support may be awarded from the child's birth.
Example-if the OP average income for last 20 years is $2,000 a month he may be ordered to pay retroactive child support as follow:
Unpaid child support: $80,568
Interest on unpaid amount:$72,173
Total amount: $ 152,741 payable immediately.

I calculated it based on WA child support guidelines
48-13-301. Determining the basic child support obligation.
The basic child support obligation is determined from the following table of monthly basic child support obligations:
$2000-child support=$373

Interest on Missed Child Support Payments

West Virginia provides for interest to be charged on late child support payments, retroactive support and adjudicated arrears at a rate of 10% simple interest. (WV Code 56-6-31 and 48-1-302)


Sounds horrible?

GV70
Sep 7, 2010, 06:33 PM
To the OP--as long as there was no support order, you should not owe back support.
Agreed! But Back child support and Retroactive child support are different legal terms.

Synnen
Sep 7, 2010, 06:38 PM
But if there was never an order, GV70, is there really any state that will demand support retroactively when the child is an adult?

GV70
Sep 7, 2010, 06:52 PM
Another interesting question is,"Who may be ordered to pay CS"
§48-16-401.(b)
(3) Identified as the father of the child through genetic testing;
(4) An alleged father who has declined to submit to genetic testing;


TO SYNNEN:
I remember "Tedford v. Gregory"./Opinion Number 1998-NMCA-067 /
Synopsis:
Jeanne's suit sought to establish paternity and to recover retroactive child support against Gregory. Gregory did not admit that he was the natural father of Jeanne, and filed a third-party claim against Harvey Tedford (Tedford), asserting that Tedford was the natural father of Jeanne. Tedford filed a counterclaim against Gregory and a cross-claim against Jeanne asserting that in the event Jeanne established her paternity claim against Gregory, Tedford should be reimbursed for the amount of child support and other monies he expended on Jeanne's behalf.

Jeanne, who was born on September 27, 1974, brought suit on February 20, 1995, against Gregory seeking to establish paternity and to recover retroactive child support. Gregory admitted having a sexual relationship with Jeanne's mother, Nina Tedford (Nina) during her marriage to Tedford, but denied that he was Jeanne's father. At the time of Jeanne's birth, Tedford was married to Nina. Tedford supported Jeanne, both during her minority and after she became an adult, believing her to be his child. Tedford also supported three other children born during his marriage to Nina. At no time before, during or after Jeanne's birth, did Nina ever inform Tedford that Jeanne was not his natural child.

CONCLUSION
The Court affirmed the trial court's determination that Gregory was the natural father of Jeanne.They hold that Jeanne was entitled to an award of retroactive child support against Gregory consistent with the matters discussed herein.

GV70
Sep 7, 2010, 06:55 PM
But if there was never an order, GV70, is there really any state that will demand support retroactively when the child is an adult?

Yes.
For example-Ar,Co,Ct,D.C. Ill, Tn,Ma,Ne and some others

GV70
Sep 7, 2010, 07:37 PM
Legally-if the question is
I want to know if I will owe back child support since ,the answer is no. Back child support refers to ordered but unpaid child support payments.

If the question is," May I be ordered to pay retroactive child support?" the answer is."It will depend on the judge".Retroactive child support refers to payments that the non-custodial parent may be obligated to make, but has not been ordered to yet.

asking
Sep 7, 2010, 07:47 PM
CONCLUSION
The Court affirmed the trial court's determination that Gregory was the natural father of Jeanne.They hold that Jeanne was entitled to an award of retroactive child support against Gregory consistent with the matters discussed herein.


Holy cow!

GV70
Sep 7, 2010, 08:42 PM
Holy cow!

:)The truth is: only two states-Louisiana and Virginia prohibit awarding of retroactive child support.


What about this one:

IN RE: CRYSTAL MICHELLE MOATS /No. 11335-37 COAT/
The parties were never married to each other. Father testified that he was not aware of the child... The court should receive such additional relevant evidence as the parties may wish to present on the issue of retroactive child support for the period from the child's birth to the filing of the current petition...

asking
Sep 7, 2010, 10:01 PM
On the other hand:


If the California Court finds that the child support order should go back in time, the amount of time it can go back is limited to the shortest one of the following:

•The date the mother mailed a birth certificate or notice of paternity to the father
•The date either parent separated from the other parent
•Three years before the date the parent first applied for child support

Finally, if you and the other parent separated before the child was born and no notice was given to the father, or paternity has not been legally established, no retroactive child support can be granted even if you were married.

California Retroactive Child Support Lawyers (http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/california-retroactive-child-support.html)

JudyKayTee
Sep 8, 2010, 06:41 AM
Wow - interesting (and great!) research. What "we" need is for OP to come back with more info.

I did ask and, yes, if the OP had any reason to believe this is/was his child and refuses DNA testing, he dies (Will or no Will), this "child" is entitled to test to determine paternity and inherit - whether she is in the Will. I am only addressing NY, by the way, but other States may very well have similar laws.

OP should not try to guess whether this is his child (obviously).

Of course, he can always write a Will and specifically exclude her - if that is his concern.

Need OP to come back with details.

GV70
Sep 8, 2010, 07:10 AM
If the California Court finds that the child support order should go back in time, the amount of time it can go back is limited to the shortest one of the following:

•The date the mother mailed a birth certificate or notice of paternity to the father
•The date either parent separated from the other parent
•Three years before the date the parent first applied for child support

Finally, if you and the other parent separated before the child was born and no notice was given to the father, or paternity has not been legally established, no retroactive child support can be granted even if you were married.



Ooooooops... where did you find it?

I know Cal.Fam.Code 4000 will dictate the outcome