I have been dating my boyfriend (25), 7 years younger than I am, for just over a year. I first said I wasn't interested because he was too young, but he was very persistent and I gave in. I enjoy almost everything about him, however...

Back-story:
When we first started dating, he received many text/emails from his ex-girlfriend, she would tell him that she loved him, missed him, and would ask him if he still loved her. This caused a lot of friction between us, a few times, he lied about getting these messages, claiming he didn't want me to get upset. I asked him to tell her to stop texting him, he told me that he didn't want to "hurt her feelings" and that she had "emotional problems and didn't want to set her off." I told him that it made me feel like he was protecting her feels at the expense of mine. I have come to believe that he was not responding to the text and does not stay in contact with this person.

I did read some of the text from before and after they broke up. In some texts (per-breakup) he told her that he loved her etc. He told me that he did not love her and only said that because she had said that to him. I'm not completely convinced that is true.

The issue:
I'm pretty sure that this is the longest relationship that he's ever been in, but I'm not exactly positive, because he is extremely emotionally reserved; perhaps it should be termed emotionally stunted. He absolutely refuses to express his emotions.

I've asked him why; he responds either he doesn't know, or that it's not intentional and that he does care about me. I told him that I perceive his inability to express his feelings as a reflection of what his feelings are for me. He tells me "ridiculous," but does not use the opportunity to disconfirm my thoughts and actually express himself.

He is completely silent during sex. Initially I would say things and ask him things during sex, but he would either just answer "yes" or "no." On a few occasions, he actually became upset and told me to stop asking him questions. I asked him why he is so reserved and he said he's always been that way and has flat-out told me that he would not talk during sex. He told me that he doesn't mind me talking and saying things, he's just not going to talk back. It seemed somewhat odd to be the only one talking so I've pretty much stopped saying anything. It is now a completely silent event. He will not even tell me what he wants to do in bed, he just moves me around if he wants to change positions. I find this to be an impediment for fully enjoying the events.

More importantly, he will not express himself outside of sex. He has never spoken a sentiment that I did not solicite. The depths of those sentiments, that he cares about me. When I try to engage his feelings he just stops talking.

He is sweet and caring and is an affectionate person, but I feel emotionally starved in this relationship. I want to know what he is thinking and feeling and it makes me feel like I'm an outsider when he won't talk to me. I've told/asked him if it might be best to end it, he gets upset and says he does not want things to end. I don't want to be a nag about this situation. I don't want to be uncaring if he is not able to express himself. I also don't want to be waiting around for something that's not going to happen or hoping things will move forward when this is it.

I told him I was posting this up to get some advice on this situation. What should I do?

I hope you both read this.

You are older, and while that's not an issue, you are also more experienced, mature, and more aware of your needs, and more open with your feelings than he is. I have no doubt you are more capable of honest communications than he is, simply because of your own awareness of how you feel about things.

He has not yet reached that level of self awareness in himself, nor should you expect him to, given the maturity gap. After only a year together, you can't have those high expectations of a person, as really your only still in a learning phase of the relationship, barely beyond the exclusive dating, and honeymoon phase.

Maybe you both have an attraction to each other, not unusual so early on in a relationship, but way to soon to tell if you have a mental, spiritual, or emotional connection that can grow and be built on in the longer term. You should be enjoying still getting to know and learn each other, and the fact that you are not may be a red flag for future compatibility.

He cares, that evident, but is it love? Maybe. Do you both have the same kind of love for each other? I doubt it at this stage of the relationship. Heck, even in the bedroom you have different styles, and that alone should tell you you are not on the same page.

Stop pushing so hard, and pay attention, and recognize the need for a lot of talking and listening, as all relationships are defined by how well you work together to resolve your DIFFERENCES, not whether you like each others company.

I think you both back up, and try to understand what those differences are and how you resolve them. Then you will know what to do, and how to work together. That is, if your willing BOTH to learn,