Hey all. Have been reading a lot of other peoples questions and problems before joining but felt like I needed to join myself to ask my question too.

Basically, my ex broke up with me around 3 months ago as a few times in our relationship, I promised her I would change by being more loving and affectionate and showing her what she meant to me and not being so boring and staying in all the time. I didn't live up to these promises and when she went out one weekend with friends, she and another guy got talking and became pretty close.

She stayed over his house with her friends and his friends after a night out in town and phoned me on the Sunday for a chat and I have to admit, I was surprised that she called and it came across to her that way too and we had a little argument as to why I was so shocked she phoned.

Anyway, this guy would make her feel nice, want to spend his money on her when they would all go out for a meal or whatever and show her a lot of attention. Since we have broken up, they spend a lot of time together, she even stays over his house and he stays over hers. We were still talking as I wanted nothing more than to be with her and I still feel that way. Ive been telling her how much better our relationship would be and how much of a better lover I would be as I have sat back and recognised where I went wrong and the things I shouldve been doing for the love of my life as that is what she is.

She would spend time with me and we would have a good laugh and a really good time together and when she got home, would message each other telling each other how amazing the time we spent together was and how much we both loved it. Well one weekend, we spent all day Sunday together, Monday evening together and she was going to change her plans on Tuesday to see me again. I felt amazing , thinking she was feeling like me, like my heart flutters when I'm with her and have butterflies in my stomach.

Something important came up that Tuesday and she couldn't see me , which I accepted but didn't hear off her all night. She was with this other guy after sorting out her problem. I had a feeling she was as she won't speak to me when she is in his company and tells me she can't message me as he is there but when with me, she will answer his calls or messages. Anyway, I have to walk past her house to get to work and on the Wednesday morning, I walk past her house at 6:30am and his car is outside her house. He stayed over again. I question her as to why he stayed over and she starts saying, I'm single, I can do what I want, you have no right to question me and I don't have to answer myself to you.

I just said that its why feelings that are getting hurt in all this and I can't just sit back and accept that you say you love spending time with me and how much you miss me and love me but then see that he is staying over your house. She tells me she is fed up of talking about it all the time and that she is walking away for good as she cares for me too much to keep hurting me.

She had previously told me that her heart believes me that when I say I am a better person than in our previous relationship but her head doesn't. I know she feels the same about me as I do about her but yesterday, told a mutual friend that she misses me, loves me to bits but doesn't think she is in love with me anymore.

Is that because of how much time she spends with this other boy? She has told me about a month ago that she loves me more than I love her and I will never love her as much as she loves me and recently told me that in her eyes, I'm the best looking boy she has ever seen and that she has liked me for donkeys years, which we both have.

Before we split, we were engaged but towrds the end of the relationship, I began to take her for granted without even realising. Now I know where I went wrong and knows what to do to make this relationship 1,000,000 times better than before. I love her to pieces and she is everything to me. When I initiated NC before, she would message me and tell me that I mean a lot to her and that she misses me and loves me.

I want nothing more than to be with this girl but I don't know what to do because deep down, I believe that soon, she will realise what she could have with me and come back because everyone I have spoken to can see how much I love her and how much she means to me but because she spends so much time with this other boy, she isn't given herself time to see exactly what she wants.

When she was ill a few weeks ago and she was on her own, she told a mutual friend, "its times like this that i wish i had *(me)* to look after her". . I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep feeling as I am but I also don't want to be without her. She is my everything and I do want to grow old with her.

Im 22 and she is 19 by the way.

Many thanks in advance for peoples replys. Sorry for the length of my situation. There is a lot more too.

People break up for a reason. You took her for granted. Didn't meet her expectations. These things can kill the strongest feelings. As much as you can change, you won't be another person and she broke up with the person you are because she didn't want to be with you.

Now I think you should give her what she needs, i.e. her freedom. And take back yours. She would be with you if she wanted to be with you but she is with him. You are in friend zone and a possible backup when she needs. He stays over, she goes to his house, sorry if it sounds harsh but it's time to open your eyes. Stop letting her use you.

This ship sailed a long time ago, and see fills your head with just enough to keep you coming around, but you get nothing for it. That's when you know you blew it, and its time to leave her alone.

I'm sorry, but this relationship is over. If she was serious about getting back with you she would be with you working out the problems, not seeing the other guy.

Right now it appears that she's still holding on by a teeny weeny thread to you just in case it doesn't work out with the new guy.

Have some pride. Don't allow her to do this to you. She's moved on and so should you.

When we were out last week talking and I was telling her that I was prepared to walk away because of how I was feeling and that I thought it was turning into a competition with the other guy, she said that she never intended it to be like that, she warned me from the beginning that's how it seems but it wasn't atall as they are only friends and that she feels like a c**t for making me feel like that. Anyway we talked more and I was telling her that I think the world of her and that she is everything I want and after more conversing, she ended up saying that she thinks she is meant to be with me.

At the end of that night when I dropped her home, she was still really upset because of how I was feeling in the situation and she said to me that she really doesn't want to lose me. She has always said that I will never love her as much as she loves me and the other day when we were talking on the way home in the car, I was saying to her that after everything that has happened between us over the past month or 2, I believe that we would have such a stronger relationship than before and she was talking to me ( I can't quite remember what was being said ) but in the middle of the sentence, she said "when we get back together . . . . . . " and can't remember what else was said towards the end of the sentence because I was surprised that she said that.