Sorry for the length of this, but I'll get right to it. My ex and I broke up a month and a half ago (26 month relationship). She said she wanted to be "single for her senior year", date other people, etc. We are both each other's first loves, and I could tell I was her first breakup because I got the "It's not you, it's me" and the "I love you, I just have to see if you're the one for me". I'm at university so we did a year of long distance.

Following the breakup, we txted regularly for 2-3 days, and I figured out she was pretty upset I didn't text her at midnight on her birthday 2 days later (why would I?) Then, I gave her one opportunity to meet with me and see if there was anything left before I went back to college. She declined, saying she just needed space and that she didn't want to get back together anytime soon. I respected her wish and went NC. She's then proceeded to text me every 4-6 days for the past month. Her Facebook was filled with "Life is so goods" and everything so I defriended her for a week so I could begin to heal. A week later I sent her a text thanking her for respecting my space and that I hoped she was OK. She told me how the past week at school had been rough, how everything was beginning to hit her and hurt. I didn't confess I was hurting too (my heart was too vulnerable), but because I hate to see her hurt I just talked her through her feelings and told her it'd take time to heal and she should have fun. I sent "Don't worry about me, just focus on yourself and get better. Have a good night gorgeous." She responded with "Thanks Sweetie! Is it weird that I almost put I love you. haha see ya!" Needless to say, no text has ever cut me so deep...

She texted me for the next two days, making small talk and seeming better... still saying babe and sweetheart. She said she hoped I have a good year and told me to not be a stranger and text her sometimes. Then, when she found out I was going back to college the next day, she said "oh...that sucks, but have a great time!" So after three days of txting me she stopped for a day, and of course it messed up my system. I made the fatal mistake of txting and saying I hope she has a better week, and she thanked me and treated me like a distant friend. I know what I did next is a mistake but I couldn't help it because she had been way too flirty recently. I told her that I would be willing to give us another chance. She was just like Oh... and dodged the question. I said so I guess that's a no, and she was like not right now, no. But I still want you in my life.

Now, understandably I'm scared that she just wants to string me along (either intentionally or unintentionally) and come back to me after her senior fun is done. So that night, I called and told her I couldn't be in her life right now and needed time to get over her. We both cried and the conversation even ended with an I love you. Three days ago, I saw where she had apparently defriended me on Facebook (turns out it was a Facebook glitch) and told her I saw where you defriended me, I hope it's nothing personal, have a great night. She responded by telling me that she hadn't but was planning on it. When I asked why, she just said if I wasn't going to be her friend in real life, why should I be on fb? I took the high road and said I understood and she let me have it. She told me that we were either black or white, not grey (i.e. if I don't want to be in her life, why do I keep contacting her... it was the second time I had in 2 weeks, when she had about 5 times) I told her that she needed to ask herself the same thing, that three days after pouring her heart out to me, going straight into friend mode was grey too. She just said I needed to decide if I wanted to be in her life or not (ummm this chick left me).

Well anyway, after that drama/fight, I finally sent a text that told her I was tired of the back and forth and would be her friend, to which all she replied was "ok then". Twenty minutes later, I see where she had went skating that day with a guy her friends set her up with and she's being all flirty on his Facebook wall. Again I know this is a mistake, but I sent her another text asking if she liked him... of course, no response, and then she defriended me and blocked me from seeing her wall. That's the last I've heard from her.

Since then (3 days), I deleted my fb (which has helped ALOT). I did look up the guy she went with... and laughed :). He's a grade below her, goes to a different school, and definitely not an upgrade (I'm not cocky, I just think she really rushed it). I'm doing better, even though I've already trained my mind to assume she's married to this new guy. I still think about her daily, but I'm beginning to get my confidence back.

My question is do you think she still thinks about me/will ever contact me again? I know it's just been four days but the thought of the rest of my life without talking to her kind of scares me and I know I can't initiate the conversation. And yes, I know I'll get a lot of "move on's and let go's to this post", but I do still love her, and am afraid of being forgotten. In the meantime, I'm keeping everything about my life secret from some of our mutual friends so she can't try to keep up with me if she wants to.

Tons of people have been through the same thing, including me. My experience has proven to me that no matter how much the ex tells you she still loves you, wants you in her life, misses you, etc,etc, if she won't see you, she will not be back. No more contact is the only way to get past this. Simple as that. Eventually you will meet someone else, but you might as well accept it now, that she is out of your life for good. Just remember, no contact of any kind.. it hurts, I know,but it will get better

I think she will try and contact you again and probably just when you start moving on ( ex's are annoying like that lol) but in my experience once a person has made up their mind that they don't want to be with you and they get to the point of breaking up there's no turning back really. Sorry if this is harsh but I've been on both ends of this..

The good news is that now you can move on to a girl that is sooo much better than her :)

I think she is moving on.
No more texting or checking up on her.
Move on.
She may contact you to see how you're doing but I think she's gone.

That was a really long break up wasn't it? Back and forth, back and forth.

As to your question, she probably does think about you from time to time, but while she is having fun, she will move on, and enjoy her life. Maybe she will try and contact you, but I hope you have the good sense not to reply, or make yourself to available to her, because all you are doing would be to open a door best left closed. You have your own healing to do, and that comes first. So have your own fun my friend, and don't be fooled by that friend zone chatter.

We never really forget the ones we date, but we do keep moving forward with good memories, but we don't go back. So go make some more good memories of your own, and the hurt of the past will fade as you do. So will the fear of being forgotten. Its called healing, and if you put that first, you will be fine, whether she contacts you or NOT.