View Full Version : Dealing with the death of your fianc?
SAVEION
Aug 24, 2010, 01:08 PM
Hello I just lost my ex boyfriend he was killed by some thugs, I just feel sooo bad because we were surpose to get back together once we got our life straight, one reason I feel so bad is that he had a horrible life I mean his childhood was bad and he had really bad parents, the thing is that he was a really good person and great with kids and he wanted to be a father one day and I just feel like they took his whole life away just like that. It's so sad I just don't understand I feel so bad the way he died because they shot him, and I'm really hurt right now, I just miss him so much already. God bless
jillia
Aug 24, 2010, 01:19 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you have a loving and strong family that can help you through this.
SAVEION
Aug 24, 2010, 01:26 PM
Thank you a lot, I believe in GOD a lot and that's what's getting me through this his birthday is next month and he would have been 30 its so funny he was just telling me about his planned birthday party and told me I better be there lol!(I miss him so much already), I just feel so bad for him, he truly was a good person, but sometimes bad things happen to good people I just know he's with GOD.
adam_89
Aug 24, 2010, 01:35 PM
I know the feeling. I lost a best friend 1 month and 4 days ago. He was shot in the face while he was sleeping. He was like a brother to me and we grew up half our lifes together. The hurt I feel now is undescribable.
I know you were once with him and shared feelings that were not felt by other people. Like me and my friend, we had so much but we couldn't obviously have the connection that a girlfiend could have.
He was only 20 years old and had so much taken from him and I know how hard it is to deal with a loss like this. The bad thing is he never got to be 21 and he was only 1 month away and he wanted to be 21 so bad. I still am not better at all. You just have to surround yourself with friends right now. After this happened, I have been spending a lot of time with friends and family, especially his family, because he was an only child.
I can not honestly say that it will get better and things will be great because I am still not there yet, but he would probably want you to be happy and celebrate his life.
I know there will never be anything that can replace him or the hole that is left afterwards but try and live each day for what it is worth.
SAVEION
Aug 24, 2010, 01:46 PM
Thanks adam 89, I know I have to take it one day at a time, and with GOD'S will everything will be OK, and that's for you and me and anyone else who may be suffering, the thing is I just can't imagine getting married to someone else but I want to have more kids, I know of course time will change the way I feel. I hope so with you too.
adam_89
Aug 24, 2010, 01:50 PM
Now we do have to keep on living, that is for sure. There is nothing we can do to change the past even though we wish we could. You now have to focus on the things you want. He would want you to live life like you want and to have kids and get married. He knows you can't help it. I wish you the very best of luck, and let God be with you every step of every day.
SAVEION
Aug 24, 2010, 02:03 PM
Yea that's true he would want me to be happy and I know he's watching over me saying you better get it together and stop being so sad lol! He was a very blunt guy men I'ma miss him until we meet again but I get comfort in knowing I'll see him again one day, and I know he would want me to live life to the fulliest. He's just that type of guy. It's just unbelievable that someone could take another person life just like that, and probably not even care that this person is someone child, brother, father, friend and most of all GOD'S child people are really bad now days.
adam_89
Aug 25, 2010, 04:20 AM
I feel this world is going to hell. Slowly, but it is going. My peacefuly little town is falling apart and more crime is happening. Why can't the worthless people die instead of the best people?
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 07:38 AM
Yea, I feel the same way, it kind of seems like the goodones die first, this is something I've always wonder about but I would never question GOD, I guess we just have to live if faith and trust and know that everything will be OK with GOD'S love and mercy, and believe me if you sit down and really think of how life can be sometimes you would really be glad that your loved ones are in a better place cause there's no more sorrow or struggle, hurt or pain. Must be nice. GOD truly is good.
adam_89
Aug 25, 2010, 08:37 AM
I have had thoughts such as that. Atlease they don't have to put up with all the bullcrap going on nowadays. He is definitely in a better place than this world. So maybe that is why God took him. He is taking the good first and then leaving the worst on Earth for hell to sort out.
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 08:57 AM
Lol! That sounds about right, I'm glad for people like you and me cause we don't let the things in life that hurt get the best of us, you just have to move on, cause life don't just stop and wait for you to come back to reality. Just leave all situations in GOD'S hand and he will work them out. TRUST
adam_89
Aug 25, 2010, 10:40 AM
Yes, it definitely is a trust thing and belief as well. I wish the world and time would have stopped or at least slowed down for me while I was at my worst with this, but it did not and I had to keep moving on.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 10:54 AM
You know he is in the hands of a just and wonderful God. Wouldn't it be unbearable if this world was all we had to look forward too?
There is coming a day when we will be together with our loved ones and we'll never have to part again. Won't that be wonderful.
Walking hand in hand in hand with people we grieved for and knowing we are always going to be together.
Heaven is going to be just that way. So really just think of him as being there and waiting till it's time to see you again. Bless you Sweetie. I'm so sorry.
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 11:52 AM
Thanks adam and kittykat , I too feel this is true and I know one day we will all be together well at least all of the good GOD fearing ones, and I am a strong person it's just still unbelievable to me, while at his funeral I just couldn't believe it I'm like I just talk to you a week ago and now I'm at your funeral it was just so unreal, but I guess I got to move on.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 11:57 AM
thanks adam and kittykat , i too feel this is true and i know one day we will all be together well at least all of the good GOD fearing ones, and iam a strong person it's just still unbelievable to me, while at his funeral i just couldnt believe it im like i just talk to you a week ago and now im at your funeral it was just so unreal, but i guess i gotta move on.
Pray and know God hears you. Remember what the Bible says , "Weeping endurath for a night, but joy cometh in the morning"
You're not alone. Listen to this song. It will make cry but it will bring you comfort.
YouTube - "Tears Are A Language" By Amy Lambert (FULL) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwy5MqNB23A) - 99k
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 12:24 PM
Thanks I appreciate all the advice, and yes I actually just got through praying I talk to GOD and while praying I also talk to him, cause I know he can hear me, I think what makes the situation so hard is that when your left with so many question of why it happened how it happened, you just feel so lost, people really take others life over something so senseless it's truly sad.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 12:29 PM
thanks i appreciate all the advice, and yes i actually just got through praying i talk to GOD and while praying i also talk to him, cause i know he can hear me, i think what makes the situation so hard is that when your left with so many question of why it happend how it happend, you just feel so lost, people really take others life over something so senseless it's truly sad.
Some one once told me , when I get to heaven I want to ask God why my life has been so hard here. My Dad who went to be with the Lord in 2002, just looked at him and said; "when we get to heaven we are going to be so happy to see Jesus and all our love ones, we won't even think about anything that's happened here." God himself will wipe away our tears with his own hand." God Bless you Dear... You are in my prayers.
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 12:40 PM
You know my friend he had a hard life and I wonder sometimes was he just ready to go, but even with all he went through he was still a happy person and his sister passed away about 7/2 months ago just in January and then we suffered a miscariage this past march that's one reason I say he had such a hard life. But even with everything he was still a good person.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 12:44 PM
you know my friend he had a hard life and i wonder sometimes was he just ready to go, but even with all he went through he was still a happy person and his sister passed away about 7/2 months ago just in january and then we suffered a miscariage this past march thats one reason i say he had such a hard life. but even with everything he was still a good person.
God is a just God. I feel he gives us all chances to repent. Even when someone is near death and they know that, they can call out to God and be his. It worked for the thief on the cross.
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 01:56 PM
You know I had only been knowing him for a year in 3 months ( my brother hookep us up) but it seem like the longest relationship I had ever been in I just wonder what was the purpose of me meeting him I wonder was it for me just to have gotten pregnant even though I had a miscarrige maybe god just wanted him to be a father in heaven, cause he wanted to be a father so bad.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 01:59 PM
you know i had only been knowing him for a year in 3 months ( my brother hookep us up) but it seem like the longest relationship i had ever been in i just wonder what was the purpose of me meeting him i wonder was it for me just to have gotten pregnant even though i had a miscarrige maybe god just wanted him to be a father in heaven, cause he wanted to be a father soo bad.
They're together. When it's your time , what a reunion. You hold on to that.
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 02:16 PM
Do you think that was one of god purpose of us meeting?
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 02:17 PM
One thing also is that I have two other beautiful kids of my own.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 02:25 PM
do you think that was one of god purpose of us meeting?
I believe God has a reason for everything. I know he takes loved ones to be with him and we are left to grieve. A friend who came to the hospital to sit with me when my dad was near death said this; "God doesn't take a Christian home as punishment. He takes them to their reward.
In the case of your loved ones, I think maybe God took them because he looked into the future and saw something far worse in store for them. He didn't want them to have to endure that so he called them home.
I also believe if your fiancé was a Christian, he is with the Lord today and he would want you to go on.
Perhaps there are young people out there who will face the same thing
You're going through and you can be shelter in the storm for them.
There is always good that comes out of tragedy.. God Bless
SAVEION
Aug 25, 2010, 02:44 PM
Thank you and god bless you too. You know I feel the same way almost I feel that god took him when his heart was in the right place because he has had trouble in the past and if god would have let him stay here you never know maybe god saw he was going to do something that would have caused him not to get into heaven, god loves us that much.
Kitkat22
Aug 25, 2010, 02:48 PM
thank you and god bless you too. You know i feel the same way almost i feel that god took him when his heart was in the right place because he has had trouble in the past and if god would of let him stay here you never know maybe god saw he was gonna do something that would of caused him not to get into heaven, god loves us that much.
Take care of yourself and you and your children will be in my prayer.
SAVEION
Aug 26, 2010, 09:41 AM
Thanks katt I will pray for you also.
Kitkat22
Aug 26, 2010, 10:05 AM
YouTube - "Praise His Name" By Jeff And Sheri Easter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRK0JrA5GKI) - 105k -
Listen to the words of this song. It has helped me through many trials and hurt in my life. Bless you.
SAVEION
Aug 26, 2010, 11:34 AM
I just listened to that song and it was really nice, thank you.