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koureli
Aug 18, 2010, 03:02 PM
Hallo to all. I have the same problem as many people here as I sadly see.

I am 27 years old and never had a girlfriend. Never had the guts to go to one from my school / univercity etc and talk to her in a way implying I want sex.

Some times I tried getting to know women at clubs / bars but I was turned down.


I probably lack the social skills that you need in order to get involved in such situations. Sometimes I feel like there is a password for getting sex and I don't know it... I want serious relationships but I also want to get full of sex before getting into one, so the "serious" girl won't notice that I was her first. Many girls here say its nice to date a virgin etc BUT I Don't WANT TO BE CONSIDERDED AS THE STRANGE ONE...

This has of course affected my life in many ways:

-as years pass I think more and more of sex, so I don't give attention in ather aspects of my life (univercity, job, etc)

-i don't feel comfortable being around people who have sex while I don't so I have started drinking and drugs just to be able to talk to people...

-from time to time I think "why dont i have the right to have sex with 15 16 17 year old girls" Don't GET ME WRONG, of course now I won't be able to do so at 27, but most people start their sexual life at this age, so most probably they discover sex with partners of their age, why didn't I have the right to have that joy? I think about it and I'm afraid of doing anything stupid and hurting people and ending up in jail. I still have my mind straigt but I'm afraid I will lose it if this situation continues...

The thing is I am KIND OF cool in my circle so never having a girl is probably my fault.


Another thing is that I don't want to go in a serious relationship with a girl that had 500 boyfriends while I had no girl and this makes the situation more complex..

I recently had an eczema on my hands due to stress and I'm sure its because of that. You know, summer in greece, everyone gets *** except of me... :(


As I said I don't know how to get a girl to have sex with me, but even if I could maybe I backed down with the fear that she would notice...

I have read here that there are girls who like virgin men, so I think maybe I go to another country for some time and tell the girl I HOPEFULLY meet I'm virgin so I am not worried about finding out and then return to greece as a different person...

I have been with prostitutes some times but its surely not like having your girl and having sex all day and night... :(

What is your opinion? Sorry for the big text...

ROLCAM
Aug 18, 2010, 06:18 PM
The joke of the day!

A virgin that has been with prostitutes!

What a laugh!

Synnen
Aug 18, 2010, 08:16 PM
So... do you want sex, or a relationship?

Sounds like you've HAD sex--with prostitutes. Which is the only way you get to have an easy hook-up. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Getting a girl takes work and confidence. You say your social skills may be lacking, so go learn social skills!

I guarantee you that your virginity (if you are, indeed, a virgin) matters more to you than it does to anyone else, and only YOU making a big deal out of it will make it a big deal.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 04:51 AM
The joke of the day !!

A virgin that has been with prostitutes !!

What a laugh !!


having sex with 4 prostitutes i.e. 4 x 20 minutes = 1h 20mins of sex in 12 years that I should be sexually active is not something...


I want to BE WANTED I want girls to want me do them don't I have that right?? I see other people around me that since 15 have never been alone... I see other people that go vacations at greek islands for 5 days and have sex with 5 different girls...

I go vacations and try and try and nothing.. and then I return in worse mental condition than I left..


its not about the virginity thing, its about being a 27 year old man and having needs that I must cover and I cant. Its about that I never had the feeling that a girl wants me, that somebody else loves me except from my family... its about seeing couples and crying inside me...

how about that for the joke of the day? *******

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 04:54 AM
Getting a girl need confidence probably BUT NOT WORK in 2010. As I said most people I know meet a girl one night make out and then have sex the other day... it seems only I can't do it :(

And getting to know a girl, which is dificult for me because I change 5 colors when I talk to one and everybody notices anxiety...

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 04:56 AM
Sometimes I think OK I am alive I am healthy there are other people in worse situation than me so I must not complain...

But as my mental health is worse than ever, my physical health follows... and with the drinking and the pills this gets worse :(

Curlyben
Aug 19, 2010, 04:56 AM
Just to clear this up and for the avoidance of doubt

YOU ARE NOT A VIRGIN!!


having sex with 4 prostitutes

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 05:11 AM
I have never kissed, I have never asked a girl successfully out nor have I been asked out, and I don't know how to deal with a girl and imply that I want her even if I went out with her.

At 27...

If you don't want to call it a virgin its OK but for me I am... and maybe worse than a real virgin because I have felt what sex is like and I need it... and obviously in order to have a normal married life, I need to be full of sexuall experience before I get married... for me at least

Curlyben
Aug 19, 2010, 05:16 AM
You have had Sexual Intercourse, so you are NOT a virgin!

It's THAT simple.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 05:33 AM
U don't get the problem but its OK... u can't feel how I feel if you haven't been in the position that I am and I'm glad that you haven't.. never mind I hope the best for you

Synnen
Aug 19, 2010, 05:46 AM
Your problem isn't that you're a virgin, because you're not.

Your problem is that you think you are ENTITLED to women wanting you.

Well, I don't know who YOUR friends are--but MINE wouldn't fall in bed with someone they met that day. The women I know want to be wooed, want to have someone show interest in them, and want to be accepted for who they are.

What they do NOT want is a guy that thinks he has the "right" to be wanted. They don't want someone who can't even come up with the courage to talk to them, ask them out. They don't want someone who sees sex and relationships as the same thing.

If you want someone to want you, to fall into bed with you the day they meet you, then get a prostitute. They're PAID to want you.

REAL women don't work that way, regardless what your friends have happen to them.

PS--the only real difference between a slut and a whore is HOW they are paid. A whore gets cash, a slut gets trinkets, dinner, and sexual satisfaction. Or whatever. Someone who is relationship material is probably NOT going to fall into bed with you just because you want them to.

I repeat my advice: work on your confidence and social skills. And get a therapist or counselor to help you.

smoothy
Aug 19, 2010, 05:54 AM
You are NOT a 27 year old Virgin no matter how much you want to think you are.

You lost the right to that claim the first time you had sex with another person.

Cat1864
Aug 19, 2010, 07:09 AM
i have never kissed, i have never asked a girl successfully out nor have i been asked out, and i dont know how to deal with a girl and imply that i want her even if i went out with her.

at 27...

if you dont want to call it a virgin its ok but for me i am... and maybe worse than a real virgin because i have felt what sex is like and i need it... and obviously in order to have a normal married life, i need to be full of sexuall experience before i get married... for me at least

I am going to be harsh:

Your attitude sounds more like a 15 year old boy than a man. You don't know how to approach women because your concept of a relationship is that of teenage male going through adolescence.

You think you are entitled to sex and being wanted. That it is your 'right'. You talk about bars and vacations. You talk about all the sex you think everyone else is getting. I bet they aren't getting near what you think they are. You talk about going on vacation and lying about being a virgin (I am sure that you are aware that putting your penis in a vagina even once means you aren't a virgin anymore) just to get in some random "girl's" pants in hopes that it will change your luck at home. That is pure Fantasy.

Grow up. Learn that women (not 'girls') want more than to be one of a dozen 'conquests'. Change your attitude about sex and intimacy. Decide if you want multiple partners who couldn't care less about who they bed or a relationship with someone who wants to build a life with you. If all you want is the experience of multiple partners, keep going to prostitutes.

IF you want a relationship, get involved in things where you can meet people and work on your social skills (volunteer, hobbies, gym, etc). Approach women not as objects for your gratification, but as people you want to get to know. People who have thoughts in their heads besides sex.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 07:34 AM
Hallo thanks for the answer. I agree that my concept of relationship is that of a teenage male, BUT I would like to pass through that stage.

Its very sad to accept I have missed it forever. I don't want a serious relationship I want SEXUAL relationships i.e. 1 2 weeks 1 2 months of SEX and KISSES and GOING OUT etc. I'm crying everyday when I think of what I have missed in my life...

When you have oxygen around you then when someone asks you what you want most in life you want say oxygen.. I hope you get me :)

J_9
Aug 19, 2010, 08:15 AM
i dont want a serious relationship i want SEXUAL relationships

Sorry to be the LAST one to break it to you, but you ain't no virgin. I hope that you are getting checked for STDs including HIV/AIDS.

As long as you are having sex with prostitutes/ladies of the night/hookers, you ARE having sexual relationships. Go get tested before you pass on the STDs to the next prostitute.


Oh, yeah, and BTW... most prostitutes don't kiss.

smoothy
Aug 19, 2010, 08:39 AM
hallo thanx for the answer. i agree that my concept of relationship is that of a teenage male, BUT i would like to pass through that stage.

its very sad to accept i have missed it forever. i dont want a serious relationship i want SEXUAL relationships ie 1 2 weeks 1 2 months of SEX and KISSES and GOING OUT etc. im crying everyday when i think of what i have missed in my life...

when you have oxygen around you then when someone asks you what you want most in life you want say oxygen.. i hope you get me :)

You aren't a teenager either, you only have one shot at it and you are 9 years past that stage... if you want sex... rent a hooker. Women are not sex toys.

If you want to date... start by growing up and acting 27, not 14. Also... the world does not revolve around you and your wants... if you want a woman, you have to treat her like a real woman, not a sex object. Would you treat your mother or sister like that? I think not.

Second... women like maturity, not immaturity. You aren't entitled to anything. You get what you earn. And its not you that determines if and when you are deserving of anything from another person... its THEIR choice to make.

This appears how you are based on what you have said and how you have said it.

Perhaps behavioural concelling is in order... I see habits, viewpoints and attitudes that are not what one would consider average. And quite honestly its hard to start with all the things I can see that's wrong here. And they outnumber what I see as being right.

I know you say you are 27... but I see so much that would be typical for a socially awkard 12 year old boy in this post its not funny.

martinizing2
Aug 19, 2010, 09:29 AM
-i dont feel confortable being around people who have sex while i dont so i have started drinking and drugs just to be able to talk to people....

-from time to time i think "why dont i have the right to have sex with 15 16 17 year old girls" DONT GET ME WRONG, of course now i wont be able to do so at 27, but most people start their sexual life at this age, so most probably they discover sex with partners of their age, why didnt i have the right to have that joy? i think about it and im afraid of doing anything stupid and hurting people and ending up in jail. i still have my mind straigt but im afraid i will lose it if this situation continues.....

From what you say you might want to stop the drinking and drugs. You could give drug users and drunks a bad name.

And it's not helping your thought processes if you think ANYBODY has
THE RIGHT TO HAVE SEX. No such thing unless you count mastrabation
Which I doubt , if you don't count prostitutes.

You have the right to pleasure yourself and that's the only sexual right anybody has.

Your mind is not straight and I suggest you get counseling before it strays any farther off course. We'll be seeing you on "To Catch a Predator"... Chris Hanson will be saying to you "..koureli...take a seat, right there ..."

You have some serious misconceptions and should get some help for yourself.

Synnen
Aug 19, 2010, 09:51 AM
So... you want random hook-ups for sex instead of a relationship.

Honey--if it lasts a couple of months, it's a relationship, even if it's only a sexual relationship. Thing is--you have to TREAT her like it's a relationship, not like it's a sexual fling.

If you just want a few days of no-strings-attached sex, rent a hooker.

Here's the thing: I'm a woman, and your attitude toward women turns me off completely. I don't think I'd even want to be friends with you, much less let you into my bed. You SCARE me with your attitude about what you want to use women for.

Yes, USE. You aren't looking for a mutual thing, you are looking for a hooker you don't have to pay.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 10:56 AM
I never said I don't want to treat a girl right... you get me wrong only synnen might have understood..

Oney--if it lasts a couple of months, it's a relationship, even if it's only a sexual relationship

I agree... I just mean that I don't want to make a relationship with marrige in my mind and thus I don't count it as serious. Anyway.. thank you all for your oppinions but I don't think you have helped much...


My attitude turns you off, but I envy you and every woman I meet for having more sex than I have had. I feel lower than her how can I explain it? Lower than women who can have sex anytime, and lower than men who do them. That's about it.

smoothy
Aug 19, 2010, 11:00 AM
i never said i dont want to treat a girl right....... you get me wrong only synnen might have understood..

oney--if it lasts a couple of months, it's a relationship, even if it's only a sexual relationship

i agree..... i just mean that i dont want to make a relationship with marrige in my mind and thus i dont count it as serious. anyway.. thank you all for your oppinions but i dont think you have helped much....


my attitude turns you off, but i envy you and every woman i meet for having more sex than i have had. i feel lower than her how can i explain it? lower than women who can have sex anytime, and lower than men who do them. thats about it.

You see... sit back and read what you just wrote... then go back and read what we wrote again.

Attitude... its all about attitude. You clearly haven't paid any attention to what we were trying to tell you. Seriously do what I said and tell us what you see wrong in what you were saying? Were trying to help you here, but you have to try as well.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 11:03 AM
And you say I scare you... why? Because all I wanted in my life was to have girls and give them love and sex?

That's the reason I'm in this situation now because I never had what I only wanted and now I'm obsessed with it. I don't want to marry a woman who has been with 200 people and I have 0... simple as that. And at least in greece there aren't many women 18- 25 who didn't have meaningless relationships..

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 11:05 AM
smoothy

You don't get it I will tell you again. If you have oxygen when I ask you what is the most important thing in life oxygen won't cross your mind.

If you starve on oxygen... ALL YOU WILL WANT IS OXYGEN.. even polluted.. you will not care...

CravenMorhead
Aug 19, 2010, 11:10 AM
I hate to be mean. I really do.

I am a guy and you exude creepiness. That sort of of low-life, dirty, scummy, feeling. The type you get when you see someone just not right at a school playground watching the kids. That feeling that causes mothers to grasp their children and cross the street when they see you coming.

What it seems to me is that you're tired of paying for prostitutes. You want all the privileges of a sexual relationship but none of the emotional responsibility of it. I believe they are called f**k buddies. Someone you can go and bag without having to care about them.

Whatever floats your boat and I am not going to judge you.

What you need to do? Dial back the creepiness factor. Stop being so desperate. You need to get your own confidence back. Forget about sex for a while, masturbate when you get horny. You got Internet access, porn is just a click or two away. Dial back the lust, the envy, and the self-pity. You need to make yourself honestly attractive to women.

You need to make yourself a better person. Most women can smell a player too. So you can't pretend, you really need to adjust your attitude.

The first thing you need to realize is that you're not alone in your situation. You will never know their names but there are countless people in your situation. As well there are countless people who have gotten OUT of your situation. It isn't going to happen over night. It is going to take work, a lot of hard work.

If you're not up for it, the hookers are just around the corner. You know where.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 11:10 AM
Your problem is that you think you are ENTITLED to women wanting you.


Yes.. after so much time and effort I think there should be at least 1 girl that would like me... but what I'm trying to tell is that because I don't know how to start anything, it shows and women are turned off when they meet someone that they expect is full of experience and then they get a 10 year old that doesn't even know how to start a kiss...

I have so many times cried and tried to harm myself in many ways because of that.. because of knowing that no matter how much I try... the result is the same... many times I think that life without fun isn't worthed of living...

For gods sake I even see the birds mating and I envy them...

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 11:13 AM
CravenMorhead I HAVE ONLY Paid PROSTITUTES FOR 4 TIMES... JUST TO SEE WHAT I LOOSE... I HAVE EVEN CUT MASTURBATION... and you are very wrong I don't care about anyone... I care about all people and NEVER had a problem with anybody... maby that's where the problem starts... if I was an ******* at younger age where all it counts is that I would have normal sexual life now

CravenMorhead
Aug 19, 2010, 11:14 AM
CravenMorhead I HAVE ONLY PAYED PROSTITUTES FOR 4 TIMES... JUST TO SEE WHAT I LOOSE... I HAVE EVEN CUT MASTURBATION........ and you are very wrong i dont care about anyone... i care about all people and NEVER had a problem with anybody... maby thats where the problem starts... if i was an ******* at younger age where all it counts is that i would have normal sexual life now

And you're missing the point.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 11:18 AM
Anyway I go drink a bottle to forget who I really am and go out... wish me luck.. I hope the best for everybody who has replied.. see you

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 11:22 AM
By the way I do have MANY friends and many female friends but I don't tell them anything about my situation, although I think some of them might suspect... cu latr

smoothy
Aug 19, 2010, 11:23 AM
smoothy

you dont get it i will tell you again. if you have oxygen when i ask you what is the most important thing in life oxygen wont cross your mind.

if you starve on oxygen....... ALL YOU WILL WANT IS OXYGEN.. even poluted.. you will not care...

Oh I understand what you said all right... You can live your entire life without ever having a woman and not suffer any problems... Monks and Priests of various religions do it all the time. So that excuse you just used speaks volumes.

This is all about your attitude. You are NOT entitled to nookie whenever the mood strikes you, with the way you clearly view women I'm not supprised you have to pay for sex. And the poor me, woe is me thing is a trick used by little children when their tantrums get them nothing. Its not an adult way of dealing with the situation, and most definitely going to send any women in the area RUNNING the other direction.

Seriously, you need to get concelling because of how YOU view things is NOT how you should be viewing them.

I'm not saying it can't be corrected, but you need a professional in the field to work with you to help YOU see the what, where, and how of what you are doing wrong.


Seriously are you really 27, it sounds like you are in your early teens.

QLP
Aug 19, 2010, 12:13 PM
Koureli, 90% of the focus is on what you want. The little bit where you do think about what the female might want is to assume she wants an experienced stud and will be put off by your inexperience. That is not the thing that is putting the ladies off. Your inability to see them as people rather than prospective lays is what will put them off.

Even a player knows that the way to play is to make a woman feel good about herself, even if only in a superficial way.

A genuine guy will want to get to know his partner and find out what she likes, out of the bedroom before in it. This means learning to listen to another person not just harping on about your own agenda, which you seem to be having difficulty with here as well.

Synnen
Aug 19, 2010, 12:32 PM
Can I get sex whenever I want?

Sure! I've also been married for 9 years, and with my husband for 14. That's since I was 21.

Does he get sex on a regular basis? SURE! But he made sure to be my friend, and to woo me, and to take me out and have fun with me. We didn't have sex at ALL until we'd been dating for some time.

I know you don't think you're looking for marriage, but you seriously seem to think that women are just out looking for a fling like you are--and most of us are NOT. Most of us are LOOKING for marriage material. And most of us have the good sense not to have sex with someone who has stated straight out that he's not sticking around--because WE (the women) are the ones that get PREGNANT--and we don't want a guy that isn't going to stick with us if we DO get pregnant. And please--don't even START with the birth control thing. I got pregnant using THREE forms of birth control correctly. If you have sex, there's a chance of a baby.

You need to get counseling. You ARE breathing oxygen--you're just not getting the kind you WANT. And frankly, it's not like oxygen at all. It's more like you're eating bread and water and want to have wine and cake without earning it.

Doesn't work that way.

You NEED to see a counselor. You need to understand that your views on women and sex are NOT healthy, and that women can sense that--and shy away from you because of it.

Experience sexually has NOTHING to do with what women want. Frankly, so many men get their instructions from porn that inexperience is almost welcome, because then you can teach a guy how to do it RIGHT.

You need to figure out how to like yourself, or no woman is going to like you.

And frankly--start looking at relationships differently. Most women NEVER have a couple night fling without thinking that it might lead to more.

martinizing2
Aug 19, 2010, 12:37 PM
You are wrong in that there are women who seek inexperienced men.
They want to take them and show them what they like men to do.

Hell you could put an ad online or in a paper and you might get swarmed with virgin busters.

Virgin man seeks vagina. Preferably not attached to female, but will negotiate with right party.

JK191
Aug 19, 2010, 04:07 PM
Everyone already told you what I thought you needed to hear. So I'm going with unconventional advice.

Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It will at minimum give you the tools to do what you want to do. If you comprehend all of it, you'll realise that what you want is foolish.

Either way, you'll gain something.

As for my opinion, I agree with all of Synnen's post.

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 06:05 PM
You still don't gett it but I'm glad you answer at least. Let me give you an example of what my night was...

I went to a park I use to go and there were 4 of my friends 2 of my female friends and 5 girls I dintn know and they were VERY talkative to me... I did nothing... I could not do I could not start it...

Then I went outside a local bar before getting home... opposite of me were 4 girls 19 yo THAT I Didn't KNOW and one of them came HERSELF and started talking nonsense about her boy that had dumped her etc etc... and she wanted a hug and I gave her the hug and we talked and I'm sure she wanted me to "do the magic trick" BUT I Didn't KNOW THE ****ING TRICK... so when I saw that she was almost fed up and ready to leave I left first...

Don't you get the problem?? Girls get close to me because they think they will find the perfect lover maybe I don't know.. but I'm worse than the boy they had at 15... THAT IS THE PROBLEM.. that I look "cool" for my circle BUT inside I'm not... and eventually women get that...

This thing today has happened in many variations many time.. if I start talking to girls the way I really am then nobody will like me (because they aproach me for what I look like). If I pretend I am what I look like they find out I'm not... so it's a dead end either way...

koureli
Aug 19, 2010, 06:09 PM
If I had a normal sexuall life since I was a teen I would know what to do today... an maybe I would end up getting 2 or 3 of them tonight... like some of my friends do from time to time... I don't know the ****ing "password"

Synnen
Aug 19, 2010, 06:38 PM
There IS no password.

The password is "confidence" and "being yourself".

QLP
Aug 20, 2010, 03:40 AM
Try to stop worrying about who you are 'supposed to be' or who you aren't, and embrace who you are. If that means saying to girls, 'I'm embarrassed to admit but I'm rather shy around women' then so be it, at least it would be honest. I think you would be surprised how many women would find that more acceptable than the games you are trying to play - unsuccessfully.

As for saying you want 2 or 3 women a night, come on that's just greedy. Sure there are guys who have done this but there are guys who have 2 or 3 in a lifetime and are quite happy about it. You need to concentrate on one woman at a time and get that right instead of trying to compete with your friends.

smoothy
Aug 20, 2010, 05:20 AM
Sorry, but I still think this sounds exactly like a socially akward boy in his early teens that has misconceptions of what grown ups really do.

koureli
Aug 20, 2010, 07:41 AM
The problem is I AM NOT IN MY TEENS I would kill to go again and do it right... that was where the problem started in the first place

Synnen
Aug 20, 2010, 07:54 AM
But what's wrong with the way you did it?

You WISH you'd been a jerk and a player in your teens so that you can be a jerk and player now?

That's just silly.

You NEED to work on liking who you are, and you need to work on your confidence. THOSE are the only passwords that will make people interested in you.

smoothy
Aug 20, 2010, 07:59 AM
the problem is I AM NOT IN MY TEENS i would kill to go again and do it right... that was where the problem started in the first place

The problem is you act like a 12 year boy old that doesn't have a clue how relationships work, and doesn't know how to talk to females and not a 27 year old man.

Until someone invents a time machine that not only lets you travel back in time but to decrease in age as well, and that's not going to happen in your lifetime. Star Trek is just a TV show.

Find a concellor and start going. Listen to what they have to say. And do it.

You are 27, if you somehow manage to find a 14 year old girl, sucker her into sex, and get caught, you WILL be getting all the sex you can handle... all of it with you bent over a bunk in jail being a number of prisoners "girlfriend" getting your anus worn out.

Now if you still think you are entitled to relive your teen years AGAIN with teen girls... thats legally considered both Pedophillia, and Statutory rape. You have all the respect and honor in prison that's afforded to the prison Snitch.

Which means... you do your time ALONE in segrigation or you get to be the sperm receptacle of your cell block.


So... get help... forget anyone remotely young... and get help. You can not see where your problem is... we can, you are not going to fix what's broke without the help we recommend you get.

Nobody WANTS to see you in jail or worse, we are trying to convince you to seek help you can not get online.

slapshot_oi
Aug 20, 2010, 08:05 AM
Everyone is pretty much in agreement here, so I'm not really adding anything profound.

Forget your teen years. You get nothing out of that except for depression.

that i look "cool" for my circle BUT inside im not......... and eventually women get that......
You're right, this is your problem. There's a conflict between who you are and what you want to be, or really, who you are and you who think you are. This is the root of diffidence. If you know who you are and are willing to admit it to society at large, then confidence comes naturally.

Once you do that, everything seems to fall into place.

Cat1864
Aug 20, 2010, 08:47 AM
the problem is I AM NOT IN MY TEENS i would kill to go again and do it right... that was where the problem started in the first place

I don't think you want to let go of the past. It is a security blanket. It is a rationalization for why you aren't in a relationship and an excuse for why you don't try. The past was this way so the future has to be too is false thinking.

Have you looked at getting counseling? Have you looked into self-help books? Have you tried being yourself instead of what you think women want?

We can reach out to you, but until you take our hands there is nothing more we can do. We can fill a thread with the same advice over and over, but you have to do the work. I don't think you are ready to yet. Can you prove my thinking wrong by actually taking some of the advice we have given or at least thinking about it instead of coming back with why you can't because you 'messed up' your past?

koureli
Aug 20, 2010, 09:10 AM
But what's wrong with the way you did it?

You WISH you'd been a jerk and a player in your teens so that you can be a jerk and player now?

That's just silly.

You NEED to work on liking who you are, and you need to work on your confidence. THOSE are the only passwords that will make people interested in you.

synnen got me right, I didn't say I want to sex a 14 y o at 27 but I wish I had when I was younger... and yes I wish I was a jerk then.. so I can be a normal person now... in fact from my circle I see that the most girls go to those who misstreat them.. that's the way it is sorry...

anyway you can't see the problem.. I LOOK COOL AND EVERYBODY THINKS I AM... BECAUSE PROBABLY I AM EXCEPT FOR SEX.. BUT INSIDE I AM NOT...

and in 2010 you are who and how much you F^ck...

the advice you give me can't be taken unless I start a NEW LIFE from 0... but I'm not sure I want to do that.. it would be very unconfortable... the only solution I see is to go to another country maybe, maybe one that women are more aggressive for 1-2 years and then go back to greece to continue my life here..

koureli
Aug 20, 2010, 09:12 AM
As for counceling... the professional type I mean... I will never go I find it very degrading... I am an intelligent person and I can't accept that someone gets paid to tell me bull****... it's the same as prostitutes that get paid to give "love"

Cat1864
Aug 20, 2010, 09:30 AM
as for counceling... the professional type i mean... i will never go i find it very degrading... i am an inteligent person and i can't accept that someone gets payed to tell me bull****... its the same as prostitutes that get payed to give "love"

They don't get paid to tell you anything. They get paid to help you figure out how to fix the problems you see with your life. Much like a plumber gets paid to fix a leak or a mechanic gets paid to fix a car.

If you think it is 'degrading' to pay for help (likening it to prostitution), I can only surmise that you think of us as the women you want to use for your own experience.

smoothy
Aug 20, 2010, 09:31 AM
as for counceling... the professional type i mean... i will never go i find it very degrading... i am an inteligent person and i can't accept that someone gets payed to tell me bull****... its the same as prostitutes that get payed to give "love"

Then you really don't want to get better. And won't. Because at 27 with what you are saying... it isn't going to happen. Read what you said above again, they are not bull**tting you, you are the one that's been bull**tting yourself about everything so long you believe it.

I'm honestly starting to believe you aren't a 12 year old but a troll. But please, prove me wrong.

QLP
Aug 20, 2010, 10:31 AM
You keep telling us we can't see your problem. I think everyone here has a pretty good handle on what the problem is. The trouble is you don't want to consider any of the possible solutions.

So it is your choice. Keep doing what you have been doing and get the same results. Or take a deep breath and accept that you need to be prepared to change some things if you want a different outcome. It is up to you.

Synnen
Aug 20, 2010, 11:06 AM
Why is counseling degrading?

It's someone who has been TRAINED to help you look outside of the view you're stuck looking at--to show you other doors and windows, if you will.

I have been in counseling off and on my whole life for a choice I made when I was a teenager. Sometimes my mind just won't let me find the solution that is making me crazy and unhappy--and it's sometimes that I just need to talk it through with someone who is not going to judge me.

You NEED help. You will never have what you want if you keep looking at things the way you do right now.

beachloverjohn
Aug 23, 2010, 11:38 AM
Kourelli, I understand what you are saying and going through. You just want a woman to care enough about YOU as a person to want to kiss and make love to you. You are just lonely, that's all. You associate sex with someone who cares. Paying for it is just mechanical. You want the real thing. Yhat's why you call yourself a "virgin". What you should , as millions before you have done, is join a dating sit. This way you can talk and get to know someone without fear of rejection. I feel for you because everyone needs physical contact, {especially at your age} and you just haven't had the experience. Well try online dating, you will find someone and who knows, he may even lead to something serious.. Hang in there, pal, it will get better for you. Just remember to make sure the sex is consensual..

smoothy
Aug 23, 2010, 12:17 PM
kourelli, I understand what you are saying and going through. You just want a woman to care enough about YOU as a person to want to kiss and make love to you. You are just lonely, that's all. You associate sex with someone who cares. Paying for it is just mechanical. You want the real thing. Yhat's why you call yourself a "virgin". What you should , as millions before you have done, is join a dating sit. This way you can talk and get to know someone without fear of rejection. I feel for you because everyone needs physical contact, {especially at your age} and you just haven't had the experience. Well try online dating, you will find someone and who knows, he may even lead to something serious.. Hang in there, pal, it will get better for you. Just remember to make sure the sex is consensual..Oh, you aren't exempt from rejection on a dating site... if fact you might get more there than you would in real life. After all if you have a larger pool to choose from, that's a larger pool that can be more arbitrary in screening through people.

I.E. If you have tem possibilities in real life... and 100 online. Who won't eliminate most of that 100 far easier than most of only 10?

It boils down to selling yourself... not literally... you have to essentually make people aware of who you are, and what you have to offer.

Now, you aren't entitled to anything any more than they are.

Want entitlement... you get paired with a 400 lb female smoker with poor personall hygine and ever worse social skills, and you can't say anything about it.

If you want that supermodel, then you better be able to #1 sell yourself and have what they are looking for.

After all, if YOU don't want a toad... remember THEY don't want a toad either.

And keep in mind... if you don't have THAT much to offer... and remember its what THEY see, not what YOU believe that matters. THen maybe you are out of your legue and need to set your sites for something more along the lines of what you really have to offer (again from their perspective).


It's a pretty rare Troll that gets to date Heidi Klum or any other famous good lood looking woman. THere are LOTS of good looking average women out there that are a more suitible goal.

koureli
Aug 23, 2010, 01:49 PM
kourelli, I understand what you are saying and going through. You just want a woman to care enough about YOU as a person to want to kiss and make love to you. You are just lonely, that's all. You associate sex with someone who cares. Paying for it is just mechanical. You want the real thing. Yhat's why you call yourself a "virgin". What you should , as millions before you have done, is join a dating sit. This way you can talk and get to know someone without fear of rejection. I feel for you because everyone needs physical contact, {especially at your age} and you just haven't had the experience. Well try online dating, you will find someone and who knows, he may even lead to something serious.. Hang in there, pal, it will get better for you. Just remember to make sure the sex is consensual..

Hallo man thank you for your reply I'm already on more than one "dating sites" (Facebook etc) BUT at least in greece if you don't have the sixpack you don't go anywhere with those sites... as for chatting... women there have heard it all. You can't make a clever and original comment they have heard it before. On the other hand even if you say " i want you now", if you have the right pictures you may get the girl.. dating sites are no use here for the averege person

koureli
Aug 23, 2010, 01:53 PM
And in fact I should inform you (I have written it before) that in my life I had chances to hook up with really nice girls BUT I never did because of the fear that they will know I don't know anything about these things and they will not only reject me, but they will inform their friends etc.. Sorry but that's how it is. If a girl makes out with someone who is for example a bad kisser then all her friends know the other day

Curlyben
Aug 23, 2010, 01:55 PM
This thread is going no where fast, so

http://mvny.org/images/closed.gif