In short I had proposed my colleague,we went around for an year,but some bitterness and disliking for her crept in my mind.so I want to say her no.I had said also on the pre-text of some quarreling,but that lsted for a month or two.

My problem here is the guilty feeling as it is to a great extent is ditching.secondly we are in the same company,'so out of sight out of mind' rule does not apply here.

I know if I marry her I will have lot of problem.also I had developed this disliking for her.but these reasons can not be given to her.

What to do? How to break-off peacefully?

To break it up peacefully, you need to make her comfortable first, then explain to her that you don't think it is working out between you too and as always... LISTEN.

I don't mean "not talk" I mean... LISTEN to what she is saying to you and respond. Don't do something drastic, because then EVERYONE in the office will know. :P

Instead of hiding what you actually think or feel for her (all the bad feelings you have for her), you could discuss it with her (dont do it in the office but first create a mood, may be take her out for a dinner) and try to short things out rather then thinking of breaking off. May be a little flexibility from both of you may work well for you.

Even if you are unable to patch-up, your discussion will give her a clear picture of what you think of her and after your effort to patch-up, she will except the fact that you both can not go along well and will take things (break-up) lightly which will help you have minimum fuss about it in your office.

This applies only if you still have a little space for patch-up. If you have already decided to break-up, then may be you can read one article recently published in Debonair (jan or feb 2003) about several ways of breaking-up.

You know you say you can't let her know why this relationship has to stop, but that is not possible because you need to communcate to this person your feelings and why you feel like this and why it has to end, being truthful will be better than going around in circles and not being honest, she might think your doing it to play with her but your not serious so be honest to the point and let it go... No reason why you can't be friends if you deal with the situation truthfully. Best of luck and God Bless

Chaz :)