My girlfriend of 5 months who I thought was amazing turned out to be a piece of crap. She is 20 and I am 23 and she really showed her true colors at the end. Found out she was sending her ex boyfriend photos of herself at night, lying to me about where she was going out at night and who she was with and many more lovely lies. I told her to get lost and I have ignored her for a week. She came begging back saying she will change and do whatever it takes to prove to me that she will change. So fine I started talking to her again, and within 24 hours she went right back to pulling the same crap. So I said enough is enough and stopped talking to her. Its been a few days and I thought she FINALLY would stop contacting me but I was wrong... she sent me this very long, very insulting text message wasted drunk. Apparently I am immature, I have no balls, I will not be successful in life, I should feel insecure if "I know what she means" lol, she talks to her guy friends and they said I was a "baby" for getting mad about her ex, and plenty more moron insults. So my question is its bluntly obvious she is trying to get a rise out of me and trying to get me worked up so I would respond. The fact that she is out getting blasted drunk every night shows she is going crazy that I am not talking to her especially because she never drank like this before. So what would be the ultimate stick up her ? Responding back and telling her off even though she STILL after explaining to her 3 times what she did still doesn't think she did anything wrong (I know that's not the best option) OR what I really want to do is not respond ever ever ever ever no matter what and let her go insane that I am not giving into her weak blows. What do you think will that work? I mean for her to literally just dish out insults like your not a man, you have no balls, you're a loser, you should be insecure if you know what I mean LOL is she just sitting there thinking of things to say??


P.S.

I want to respond SOOOO BAD and tear her apart but I know it will only make her smile that I gave into her. So please help!

Get her number blocked from your cell phone. It is easier than you think, just contact your wireless provider. Responding will do nothing but feed her ego and lower you to her level.

Do not respond... by responding to her you are giving her what she wants. Be mature about the situation and just don't respond to her... Girls do some weird things to get a guys attention and by responding to her and insulting her back or saying that you are hurt by what she has said is just going to give her the attention that she wants so that she can text you back again. It will absolutely eat her up if you do not respond to this immaturity of hers. I am sure what she has said about you is not true at all, and you were very right to leave her for the reasons that you did. Forget about her, there are many other fish in the sea that are far nicer and would never do that to you!

I want to respond SOOOO BAD and tear her apart
If by "tear her apart" you mean "let her win."

Suffocate her. Don't give her anything. No contact, no attention, no piss for fire. Let her drown in her own toxicity.

Simple answer change your phone number, or get hers blocked from your phone.

You're doing the right thing by ignoring her, however one time she may do it and you in the heat of the moment respond, that's what she's hoping for, so get a new number or set about blocking hers from your phone.

Personally I think changing your number would be the best option that way she can't text you at all ever again.

Whatever you do though don't succumb and give in by responding...

Also just something you might want to try, whereas she's bad mouthed you, don't do the same, if anyone asks about you and she just tell them its over end of story. That way in time she is going to end up making herself look so petty and childish...

> she sent me this very long, very insulting text message wasted drunk

Just let that give you more resolve to stay on "no contact" with her.

With you referring to her as 'a piece of crap', and her referring to you the way she does, your attitudes are getting in the way of being mature about this.

Women are not 'pieces of crap'. You are angry, you have your reasons, and she is angry at you, and uses inappropriate insults toward you. I can only imagine what the phone calls were like.

Somebody has to step up, and put an end to this, and it seems that has to be you.

As long as you are entertaining the idea of accepting phone calls in order to do the revenge thing, nothing will end.

Send her an email or text. In nice language, which is not condenming, insulting or hurtful, simply tell her that it is over. As her to not contact you in any way, and if she chooses to, you will not respond. Then do it, and stick to it. How she responds after that point, is none of your business.

The anger you have needs to be dissipated, and when you've finally made the break, work on figuring out what went wrong. The more you learn about yourself in this relationship, the more you will learn (if you are honest), what you need to do to change yourself, to have a more successful relationship, with someone else.

Sometimes two people are just not compatible. It has nothing to do with anything else, other than it just won't work. Better to know that now, than invest 10 years of your life and produce a couple of kids along the way.

She is a human being, and regardless of how disgusting you find her to be, and her behaviour, try to avoid falling into the trap of wanting to 'settle' things. The peace of mind from taking the high road, and taking charge of yourself and your decisions and behaviours, is the only way to go in my opinion.

Delete, and block her, but never respond.

Download The Eagles. "Get Over It" as your ringtone. (Kidding) have her blocked.

NC.

Had to spread the rep Kit, but, I love your answer. :D

Had to spread the rep Kit, but, I love your answer. :D

Thanks Jake... I couldn't resist :D

Really OP... NO CONTACT.

Don't even read her text, just delete them, then you have nothing to respond to.
As long as you are reading her angry rants, you will be angry as well. Don't even read them.

Some phones let you set ring tones for specific callers. You could set the ring tone for her contact to silent.

I posted a post like this a few weeks ago and I have taken everyone's advice. I have been doing so much better but still get my weak points. To the new comers, I was in a relationship with a girl who was 19 and I'm 24. We only dated for 5 months and everything started amazing. 4 months in she decided to show me the real her. Started sneaking behind my back hanging with her ex boyfriend, lying to me by saying she was sleeping when she was out hanging with her ex and who knows prob even sleeping with him. Having her phone die for entire nights when she was going "out with the girls." Finally I realized this is not the girl for me so I had to cut her loose. I tried talking to her about it and it just turned into a huge blow out about how I am over reacting and she is "confused" and her and her ex are only "Friends" yet she ignored my calls several nights to chat with the old boyfriend who by the way cheated on her yet she still talks to him?? Anyway I cut her off completely cold turkey. She has been sending nasty text messages just trying to get me to respond back to her. I can't even be friends with someone who lied like she did. I just like to hear some reassurance that I did do the right thing by cutting her off and should never respond again. I don't really believe in the whole "blocking" thing, I would prefer her to see what I am doing and see how much fun I am having with out her to stick it back in her face for being such a ***** and lying to me. I am moving in 2 weeks to the other side of the country and I couldn't of planned out the timing any better so it should be easier to forget her. What do you all think?

Right on Brother!

There is no doubt you are doing the right thing. I just answered your question about moving to LA. You won't believe the number of girls there. I bet you forget her pretty quickly. :)

You want to stop thinking about her? Definitely don't think about white bears.

You want to stop thinking about her? Definitely don't think about white bears.


What lol?

I hope you aren't thinking about white bears. You aren't, are you?

I am 23 and my ex girlfriend I was dating was 20. We dated for a little over 5 months. Everything was amazing the firs 4 months. Literally out of no where she decided she was going to pull a 180 and having her phone die for entire nights, start going out with her new "girl friends" and not contacting or responding back to me until the next night. When I confronted her about the sudden change she said things like "we are not F***ing married I don't need to report into you" and many other lovely messages. I sort of let it go because I liked her so much but then a week went by and I found out she has been hanging/talking to her EX boyfriend the past few weeks and ignoring my calls late at night and sending her ex picture messages "but they weren't nude" right lol. She LIED to me about it and now I need to question every single thing she has EVER told. To make a long story short I cut her loose and have NOT responded in over a week and she wrote to me how she will change and so sorry and was pouring her heart out so I gave in and talked to her. Within 24 hours she pulled the same crap again. So I really cut her off for good now. I don't believe in blocking or changing my number due to her, but last week she sent me the NASTIEST text message drunk. Saying I am a piece of crap, a loser, I will never meet anyone, I will never be successful in life etc. Even though she was 100% wrong with what she did she just can't admit it, its insane lol. I thought after that big nasty text message I was free... was I wrong. Last night (a week later from the nasty text) she sent me a message saying she met a guy with the same first and last name as me but with a 1 letter difference and it was crazy. For the record I have a very rare Italian last name lol she's full of crap. She wrote how sorry she was for saying what she said last week in the text and she wants to be my future husband and all this BULLCRAP. She is literally trying ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get me to respond and the fact that I am NOT is eatting her up a live. Please please please someone let me know what to do.. is she really trying anything she possibly can to get me to respond? I mean come on she met someone with my same last name... LOL not likely AT ALL... am I best to just never respond like I have been?

Merely ignore, she may come back in 3 months with a few more.
Just delete, do not even read them and you go on.

Yes, she is breaking off her fingernails trying to make you respond. She loses control of more of the situation every time you do NOT respond, and she wants her control back. DO NOT RESPOND. AT ALL. EVER. Total No Contact. Block her so you don't even have to read her messages or hear voice mail.

NO CONTACT!!

I'm going with the majority here... dont empower her... just don't respond... you don't want to be with her correct? I would hope not after this nonsense she pulled... she will eventually get the picture trust me.. you will see the texts will come less and less and eventually they will stop

Are you still moving to Los Angeles in 2 weeks? That would be a perfect time to get a new phone number and not give it to her. Why would you want anything to do with this girl? There are lots of nice women who will treat you right.

Spiegel27 agrees : Yup August 19th I am out of here! I know once I get out there I will be fine, who would have expected her to message me again lol, I know cali will be a sure fix to forgetting her and meeting someone new =p

Good. I thought maybe you had changed your mind. Okay, you only have 11 days to go. I'm sure you are busy, packing, etc. If I were you, I'd stay busy. If you are tempted to call, text or e-mail her, jump on the internet and start looking at websites about LA. That will give you plenty of incentive. In fact, I'll start you with one.

Santa Monica - pictures from 3rd street promenade, the pier, Santa Monica beach and the streets (http://www.skylightweb.com/losangeles/santamonica.html)

That will be a lot more fun than talking to your ex. :D

Spiegel27 agrees : Yup august 19th I am out of here! I know once I get out there I will be fine, who would of expected her to message me again lol, I know cali will be a sure fix to forgetting her and meeting someone new =p

Good. I thought maybe you had changed your mind. Okay, you only have 11 days to go. I'm sure you are busy, packing, etc. If I were you, I'd stay busy. If you are tempted to call, text or e-mail her, jump on the internet and start looking at websites about LA. That will give you plenty of incentive. In fact, I'll start you with one.

Santa Monica - pictures from 3rd street promenade, the pier, Santa Monica beach and the streets (http://www.skylightweb.com/losangeles/santamonica.html)

That will be a lot more fun than talking to your ex. :D




Hey.. ignore her. You don't need her and you'll do fine without her. She also has a potty mouth. Whew the words she texted.. not very ladylike!:eek:

In a few weeks you'll be singing, "Wish They All Could Be California Girls"

Thank you everyone for responding and helping me out with your opinions! I am doing what you all said and keeping no response EVER. She is just not someone I even want to talk to ever again. So she friend requested me yesterday on Facebook lol... does she not get what she did or get the hint? Its really insane. For the final check with you all I am just going to let her friend request sit there. I will never answer it. I am sure that is best correct?

Thank you everyone for responding and helping me out with your opinions! I am doing what you all said and keeping no response EVER. She is just not someone I even want to talk to ever again. So she friend requested me yesterday on facebook lol....does she not get what she did or get the hint? Its really insane. For the final check with you all I am just going to let her friend request sit there. I will never answer it. I am sure that is best correct?

Correct, or take it one step further and deny the request. As I understand it, she doesn't get notified of that but it gets it out of your inbox. Why even have the reminder? Only 9 more days and you are starting a brand new life. Good luck!

Hit ignore on the friend request... better yet, block her name, ignore her text messages, look forward to your move, and get a new phone!

Used to live in S. Calif. Myself... enjoy!

Just wanted to add, block her from texting you as well.

Have a wonderful life out in California. I'm so glad you have let go of this girl... Good Luck

Okay everyone one last update from the ex girlfriend haha. I woke up this morning and she called me 7 times... SEVEN times from 10:30pm-2am. 3 where blocked calls the others where her cell phone.. THEN she left me this text lol "wtffff dudeee stop being such a loser! im not asking to be wit u im just simply asking to be cool wit u, whats wrong with that?! cann u grow up be a man and text me back please, i just wanntt to fu*k you right noww so bad and be suchaa naughty girl thats alllll :D. are you home im driving to your house pleaseee answerr."

Is this getting a little ridiculous or what LOL?

She sounds like a classy gal. It's good you have resisted temptation as I can tell you there are much better females out there for you, especially in Cali.

Run away!. run away!

Such a pathetic female!!

Soooo she called me two more times this morning and is leaving voicemails that she is going to drive to my house but she doesn't want to make the drive and have me not be home... she lives 6 hours away would she actually make the drive? I think this is another one of her manipulative bluff stunts what do you think? Should I worry about this lol? She has never driven to my house because she is awful at driving and directions she always took the bus near me and I picked her up... should I remain no contact? Lol...

It's quite simple... block her number(s) so that you don't get any messages, text or voicemail, at all from her. If need be, get a new phone now, (with a new number) or change your number for your current phone if it comes to that.

Have you out and out told her that you do not want any more contact with her? Or don't tell her, so you don't have to speak to her, and just block anyway she could contact you.

Sounds like she's getting desperate to get your attention. If she does show up, don't answer the door. :eek:

Are you driving to California? If so, maybe you can leave early and do some sightseeing along the way.

Whatever you do, don't give in - even to tell her to stop. You'll only encourage her. The best message you can give her is that you want nothing to do with her, and the best way to do that is to totally avoid and ignore her. Hopefully, she'll learn a lesson from you. She stooped to the lowest level with that message she left you, thinking you're a guy and the promise of sex would work. Now she doesn't know what to do. I have a suggestion for her - grow up! And for you, change your number when you get to California.

I agree everyone! Its just insane lol, I already changed my number to a California one when I relocated my AT&T account a few weeks ago and she got my new number through another friend.. AT&T doesn't allow you to block numbers with out paying monthly which is to costly to block some ex. TO: "Just Looking" - I am actually flying out! I really need to get out of here haha, she knows I am leaving soon so she is probably trying her last resort. She first tried tearing me apart and didn't get a rise out of me. Then she tried the met a guy with your name lets get married approach.. didn't respond. This is her last hurrah I am hoping she doesn't show up.. I really really doubt she would make the drive especially not knowing if I would be here or not.. its pardon my french *****ing insane.. she is getting scary...

This reminds me of the movie Fatal Attraction.

Be prepared, and ready for what ever this loony comes up with. The idea is to deal with whatever life throws at you, whether it makes sense, or not. Your doing the right things for yourself now, and I don't doubt that will continue.

Hopefully if you keep ignoring her, she'll give up. If not, think about changing the number again and telling your friends not to pass it on to her. I think she is in a panic because you are leaving soon, and she will most likely give up once you are gone. She mostly sounds young and immature.

8 more days...

I'd change the number again as well. Only give it out to those you really trust not to share it with her.

Okay straight up I am embarrassed to ask this question after all the hard advice you all gave me. I may of F***ed up but it got to the point where she started to drive to my house... I know this for a fact due to one of her friends. I ended up calling her and telling her she needs to cut the crap and turn back home. We ended up talking for 2 hours and I don't know if I gave in and became a weak *** *****. She straight up admitted everything she did and why it was wrong and that she was truly sorry.. Regardless I am still going to California in 6 days and doing my own thing. She wants to remain in touch as "friends" but I told her she would have to prove to me she can be my friend without lying and pulling the crap she pulled to me. So when I hung up she turned back home and we seem to be civil. Now first of all did I F*** up big time? I honestly don't think I could have handled seeing her in person.. My gut tells me right now she is going to pull the same crap again. When she has plans she wants nothing to do with me, but when she's sitting around bored and home she wants to talk my brains out. She is displaying that AGAIN by going out tonight and I sent a simple little text and got no response LOL. Suggestions, comments, insults to me are appreciated lol tell me straight up what needs to be done, thanks.

Leave her alone. NC. Complete NC.

Start your new life without all the baggage.

Personally I would have let her show up. Left her out side the house. If she made a racket if day shut up or I'm calling the police. Through a closed door. But how do you kniow that's not just a lie and the friend was in on it?

Don't trust her. Don't talk to her. You will be far away soon... with many new girls around you. You will forget her in a flash!

Didn't we all say block her? Whoops...

"Regardless I am still going to California in 6 days and doing my own thing."

Then do it.

First order business is to get it together. Learn who you are before you get with anyone else.

Try listening. To your gut, not otherwise.

Good lesson.

It takes two.

You're loving this and you know it. You always seem to know what's she's doing and when.
It's contact and attention from her.

All of this will stop when you are ready for it to stop.

I agree with you all, it pisses me off I break down and got weak for this woman AGAIN especially since she treated me like such crap.. You think the best thing for myself even though we "made good" you can call it under a few conditions (that she probably won't keep as usual) is to just go back to cutting her off. Ignoring her texts, ignoring her calls? I should just change all my numbers and everything for good and block her so I never will be tempted again? I can't believe I broke down after 3 weeks of doing so damn good! It's that false hope of getting back together with her in the future that makes me weak, but why would I even want to the way she treated me? Why even be her friend? Cut her off 100% forever agreed? I need a good blunt smack in the face comment to wake up.

Lol, man, what a thread.

This girl is histrionic, she'll do anything for attention.

People like these can go batsh*t crazy at the drop of a hat. Don't hesitate to get a restraining order if she continues.

The biggest problem here is not her, but you! I totally agree with homegirl, all these drama, and you are loving it. Let's be honest, not with us, but with YOURSELF! You either love the drama, or still want her in your life, that is why you keep doing it, yet you pretend here like she is terrible, etc. Deep down you want her. Come on dude, we are not little kids.

BLOCK HER! You have said it yourself that you don't believe she will make the changes she says she will, so why even entertain the idea of getting back together?

Commit to getting yourself settled in California. You have a brand new start, a clean slate. As was mentioned before, figure out what you want in a relationship and don't settle for anything less when you are settled and ready to dive back in.

For now, focus on spending time with family and friends to kill the time until you leave. Go see some things in the area that you live; play tourist before you move.

In the future, you might remain on friendly terms, but odds are you won't and you will use this as a learning experience so that when you meet someone new, this one will simply be a memory of what you don't want in a partner.

Dude, I'm going through the same thing. I get nasty hurtfull texts, drunk calls threatening to hurt me if she sees me out in public, tells me very similar things that you wrote in your question. They must be related. I spent 2 years going back and forth with the lies and abuse. She is very controlling and manipulative. My feeling is she probably has an undiagnosed personality disorder (ie Bpd). Either way, it doesn't get any better. If she is drinking now, she will drink more in the future. My ex won't ever admit she has a drinking problem. It's everyone elses' fault... she changes reality to suit her reality - which is a faulty one. Don't respond, she wants drama, she wants attention - regardless of it being positive or negative. She has faulty wiring. Normal people don't behave like this - they don't put you down if they love you. She will do this to whomever she is with. Insecurity and abandonment issues are at her core. Ignore her, don't respond. I wouldn't erase the messages... I keep mine just in case something drastic happens and you need proof of her behavior. There are abusive people out there... and they aren't all men. Good luck.